Call that a mohican?
Footballers clearly have an awful lot of time (and money) on their hands, which goes some way to explaining their penchant for eye-catching hairstyles.
Many players stick with the same cut throughout their careers, while others sport new trims more often than they score goals (although, in fairness, this also applies to the eminently sensible Tony Hibbert).
Here are 14 of the craziest barnets in the game.
14. David Beckham
There’s only one place to start when it comes to footballers and hairstyles: David Robert Joseph Beckham.
From the mid-1990s well into the new millennium, Beckham’s ever-changing hairdo was a constant talking point, almost as much as his exploits on the pitch. Indeed, one of the reasons Sir Alex Ferguson lost patience with the Manchester United man was his decision to wear a beanie during training in March 2000, so that his new barnet would only be unveiled on an upcoming matchday.
From curtains to cornrows, crew cut to double ponytail, Becks has done the lot.
13. David James
It’s probably no coincidence that most of the players featured in this list were attackers, many of whom played with great flair and imagination.
That’s not quite the case with ex-England goalkeeper James, who didn’t let his position hold him back when it came to experimenting with his hairdo. The 6ft 4in shot-stopper trialled a range of colours throughout his career, while also flitting between afros, cornrows and comb-overs.
12. Djibril Cisse
The Frenchman put a huge amount of effort into his hair, often unveiling a new look every time he took to the field.
Most revolved around a bleach blonde look, although Cisse also dabbled in red during his brief stay at Sunderland and blue while he was on the books of QPR. He’s ditched the dye more recently, preferring a more natural looking mohawk.
11. Paul Pogba
Not everyone's a fan of eccentricity, but Garth Crooks seems to dislike Pogba's proclivity for hair carvings - which have at different times included a star, his name and the Batman logo - more than most.
"I also want to discuss Paul Pogba's new hairstyle, which features a red streak." Crooks told BBC Sport. "There is so much for the midfielder to do at United and he still insists on behaving like an adolescent."
It's hard to deny the Frenchman oozes cool, though, and his quirky cuts clearly haven't affected his football career - the midfielder's won eight major trophies before his 25th birthday, after all.
10. Kyle Beckerman
Is that a giant spider about to chew Beckerman’s face off? Fear not – it’s simply the United States midfielder’s substantial crop of dreadlocks.
Our first thought looking at the picture above is how heavy they must feel on Beckerman’s head. Perhaps that’s the reason the Real Salt Lake veteran chopped them off in November 2017, a move described by ESPN as “one of the most stunning decisions in US soccer history.”
9. Jason Lee
‘Serenaded’ by chants of “he’s got a pineapple on his head” by opposition fans, the hairdo sported by the former Lincoln, Peterborough and Nottingham Forest striker was clearly eye-catching.
There’s a darker side to this story, though, with Lee later admitting that the constant jokes about his barnet made by television personalities Frank Skinner and David Baddiel began to affect his career.
“It coincided with a lack of form, which any player can have, and it grew to the extent where it was affecting people around me,” he told BBC Sport in 2007.
8. Marek Hamsik
It’s hard to picture Hamsik without his trademark mohawk, so it’s just as well the Napoli midfielder has declared he won’t ditch it until he’s retired.
In fact, the Slovakian icon has been known to double down on his favoured style when things aren’t going well on the pitch. After a poor individual start to the 2017/18 campaign, Hamsik’s agent said his client would “raise his mohawk” to try and bring about a change in fortunes.
7. Marouane Fellaini
The Belgian has been the subject of mockery for his impressive afro-style ’do, but Fellaini – pleasingly – refuses to budge and has even taken to bleaching his sizeable mop-top since moving to Manchester United.
Pressed on his hair-maintenance regimen in a 2012 interview with the Daily Mail , the target-man midfielder shrugged “I wash it sometimes, but that’s it.” Fair play.
6. Ronaldo
You have to be a great player to get away with a hairstyle like this, so it’s just as well Ronaldo remains one of the best strikers to have ever played the game.
We’re still left with a number of questions, mind. Did the clippers explode before the crew cut could be completed? Was he given the trim in the dark?
The Brazilian had the last laugh, though, scoring eight goals to win the Golden Boot at the 2002 World Cup as his country scooped their fifth crown of all time.
5. Roberto Baggio
Sporting one of the most famous footballing haircuts of all time, Baggio was nicknamed the "Divine Ponytail" for his banded hair and Buddhist beliefs. The Italian icon donned the style for most of his career, which brought him Serie A, Coppa Italia and UEFA Cup winner's medals.
He did, however, chop off the ponytail at the start of the 1997/98 campaign to signify his rebirth. It clearly worked: Baggio went on to enjoy one of his best individual seasons, scoring 23 times for Bologna in the Italian top tier.
4. Vagner Love
Many people question whether modern-day footballers care for their clubs or merely treat them as an instrument to further their own individual careers, but Vagner Love cannot be accused of failing to forge a connection.
The reason is found in his hair. The Brazilian has taken to dying his dreadlocks in the colour of his employers, be it red for Flamengo or blue for CSKA Moscow (who, confusingly, also wear red). Now plying his trade with Alanyaspor, he’s disappointed everyone by shaving his head.
3. Rodrigo Palacio
A quick glance at Palacio’s bonce from distance reveals nothing particularly unusual. After all, what’s crazy about a short back and sides?
Look a little closer, though, and you’ll notice something resembling a rat’s tail dangling from the right-hand side of the Argentinian’s head. Wait a minute, is that thing attached?!
2. Abel Xavier
El Presidente of peroxide, the boss-man of bleach. Former Liverpool, Everton and Middlesbrough defender Xavier couldn’t resist applying the chemical compound to his head on a regular basis, ensuring he was never hard to spot on a football pitch.
His most adventurous trim saw him incorporate at least three cuts into one: part afro and part Mohawk, with the extravagant facial hair also bleached. The picture above looks positively no-nonsense in comparison.
1. Taribo West
It’s hard to do justice to the sheer audacity of West’s contribution to this gallery; it’s also difficult to know where to start when it comes to analysing it. Just how do you explain this to your barber, for goodness’ sake?
To be fair to the Nigerian defender, he clearly put the effort in, dying his various clip-ons green before representing his country. The only problem is the fact that two of them look like chicken feet and the other a root vegetable.
