Bale designs own flag and constitution, report upset team-mates
In the aftermath of Wales’ 2-1 win over Andorra, goal hero Gareth Bale resisted congratulations from team-mates, opting instead to read the Montevideo Convention on the Rights and Duties of States on the team coach.
While other Wales players wiled away time on the journey home with insipid, bawdy invective, Bale made furious notes on the declarative theory of statehood, occasionally underlining passages in highlighter.
"We made a few attempts to engage with Gareth, but it was clear he was thoroughly ensconced in the concepts that regulate the designation of supreme authority over some polity," Joe Ledley told FourFourTwo.
"We were all a bit surprised, but we thought fair play to him; after all, the Bidet [Ben Davies] is a big fan of substantive due process and we never get on his back when he opens up a juicy paper by John A. C. Hetherington."
However, it soon became clear that Bale’s sudden interest in nationhood was related to the evening’s unexpectedly hard-fought win over Andorra in which he had netted twice.
"He’s gone to make a note in the margin and a piece of paper’s fallen out with a flag drawn on it," Ledley explained.
"At first it looked just like a Wales flag, but on closer inspection the dragon’s actually a picture of Gareth. As he’s gone to pick it up, another sheet slips out and it's a rudimentary constitution for a sovereign state called ‘Bales’.
"Granted, he's still got a long way to go in producing a cohesive system of judicial review, but we’re not idiots. We could all see exactly what was going on – Gareth was looking to secede from us and declare himself independent.
"Some angry words were exchanged, but to be fair while the rest of the lads worked hard creating insults that meandered but lacked a punchline, the Independent Republic of Bales [Gareth Bale] immediately fired off a couple of zingers, which he celebrated with some vainglorious posturing and making a heart sign with his hands."