BotN: Polish celebratory vodka repurposed as misery vodka

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The Back of the Net team report on Poland 0-1 Czech Republic

Co-hosts Poland crashed out of Euro 2012 on Saturday evening following a 1-0 defeat to the Czech Republic, leaving their manager, players and fans with gallons of apparently unusable celebratory vodka.

However, a number of enterprising Poles soon found that the vodka, which they had planned to drink to acclaim Poland’s progression to the quarter-finals, could just as easily be drunk to commiserate their disappointing group-stage exit at the hands of a limited Czech Republic side.

“Before the game, we were all really excited,” Leszek Śleszyński, a 26-year old Wroclaw man, told “When we were dominating the first half, everyone was sure that come 90 minutes we’d be cracking open the celebratory vodka to toast a Poland victory.”

“Then when we lost, we thought we’d have to throw the celebratory vodka away. Until someone pointed out that we could totally pretend that the celebratory vodka was actually misery vodka, and drink it anyway.”

Vodka: popular

Petr Jiráček’s 72nd-minute goal condemned Poland to defeat, and spoiled the victory party of manager Franciszek Smuda.

“I had planned to sit at a bare wooden table illuminated by a single lightbulb and drink celebratory vodka until I fell over from sheer joy,” he told journalists. “But now that plan has been ruined. So instead, I’ll be sitting at that table, under that lightbulb, drowning my sorrows with misery vodka until I fall over from abject despair.”

Despite the gloom of missing out on a last-eight place, many Poles could take comfort in the simultaneous elimination of old foes Russia, 1-0 losers against Greece.

“That’s Russia’s celebratory vodka ruined! They’ll have no use for celebratory vodka now!” Śleszyński crowed, pouring himself another vodka. “Do you know, I reckon this misery vodka could easily pass as schadenfreude vodka.”

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