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"˜Bum-brigand"™ not on banned list, Liverpool confirm

Liverpool Football Club have issued all staff with a list of unacceptable words and phrases, in the hope that this will prevent any unwanted off-field controversies enveloping the club this season.

According to a leaked document seen by, Reds officials will no longer be allowed to call anyone 'she-man', 'beefeater', or 'knob-jockey', nor will they be permitted to use slurs like 'pole smoker' or 'backdoor bandit'.

'Georgie boy, 'macaroon' and 'candlestick maker' are also out, according to the new rules, as are phrases like 'hush little chickadee' and 'that's not the big boy mustard'.

In a surprising development, however, the club took pains to confirm that the term 'bum brigand' would continue to be welcome at Anfield.

'The club wishes to eradicate any form of discriminatory behavior both on and off the football pitch, and there are a number of offensive words which the club considers unacceptable,' the leaked statement reads.

'However, after careful consideration of the arguments, we have decided to omit the term 'bum-brigand' from the banned list. 'Bum-brigand' and other similar references to brigandage of the bum are completely fine by us.'

There has been speculation on Twitter about a parallel list of accepted slurs, headed by 'bum-brigand' and believed to include 'window-dresser', 'varmint', and 'spatchcock', though Liverpool have so far refused to comment.