The Final Weekend La Liga Predictions - Round 38
Saturday (18.00 Spanish time)
Athletic (8th) v Deportivo (who cares)
ItÃ¢ÂÂs like raaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiin on your wedding day. And itÃ¢ÂÂs like Deportivo being involved in the only match of the weekend that has absolutely no meaning whatsoever.
LLL - Home win
Saturday (20.00 Spanish time)
AtlÃÂ©tico Madrid (9th) v Getafe (6th)
The mean side of La Liga Loca would like to make it clear to the AtlÃÂ©tico fans who are STILL singing in the streets and beeping their stupid car horns some 36-odd hours after Diego ForlÃÂ¡nÃ¢ÂÂs deflected effort that they are not Ã¢ÂÂThe Champions of EuropeÃ¢ÂÂ which is the wide perception in the Spanish capital.
Instead, they are the unbelievably jammy winners of a tournament they were allowed into having been the worst Spanish side in history in the Champions League - picking up just three points - and where they proceeded to blag their way through to the final on away goals and atrocious refereeing decisions against Valencia.
The blog has now just realised that it doesnÃ¢ÂÂt actually possess anything other than a mean side.
But AtletiÃ¢ÂÂs victory is very much GetafeÃ¢ÂÂs gain who, in theory, only need to turn up against what will surely be a mixture of B-teamers and a hungover Luis Perea - imagine that! - to pick up the three points they need to attempt the same ridiculous Europa League journey undertaken by AtlÃÂ©tico.
P.S. - for those Spanish readers who watched TelecincoÃ¢ÂÂs coverage of the final. Is the blog being harsh or did the channelÃ¢ÂÂs commentary consist of two drunk men shouting for 90 minutes? And not in a good way, either. This does not bode well for the World Cup.
LLL Prediction - Away win
Real Zaragoza (15th) v Villarreal (7th)
Considering Getafe president, Angel Torres, publicly blasted his players for Ã¢ÂÂthinking about their holidaysÃ¢ÂÂ after the two disappointing draws prior to last SaturdayÃ¢ÂÂs victory over MÃÂ¡laga which kept the club in sixth, there is likely to blood at the Coliseum club should Getafe fail in the Vicente CalderÃÂ³n.
However, they may have a lifeline should they stumble with the currently very unreliable Villarreal facing an away trip at the hard-to-predict at the moment Zaragoza.
One of the players who will be present and correct at La Romareda is Joan Capdevila, despite the fullback getting himself brilliantly sent-off last week for asking the referee if a yellow card given to Joseba Llorente was meant for Sergio Busquets.
LLL Prediction - Away win
Saturday (22.00 Spanish time)
AlmerÃÂa (12th) v Sevilla (4th)
Luis Fabiano will be finishing the season in the same style that he started it - with no commitment whatsoever to his club.
Having been in no real hurry to risk his recovery from injury in the middle of the campaign with the World Cup on the horizon, the Brazilian striker has now told a local TV station that Ã¢ÂÂIÃ¢ÂÂm probably off as my contract is running out. The club want to sell me. If they donÃ¢ÂÂt then IÃ¢ÂÂll be free in 2011.Ã¢ÂÂ
LLL Prediction - Away win
Mallorca (5th) v Espanyol (11th)
With LLL still in a the biggest of sulks over MallorcaÃ¢ÂÂs lousy defeat to Deportivo last weekend that will probably see them without a Champions League place, it is high time for the yearÃ¢ÂÂs final News from Sweden thanks to thelocal.se.
And the story that is making the headlines around northern parts concerns....a dead fish. But a big one, mind.
Kurt Ove Eriksson, a 73-year-old fisherman living in BohuslÃÂ¤n in western Sweden, made an unexpected discovery when he went down to his hut by the harbour - a 3.5 metre Giant Oarfish, last seen in Swedish waters 131 years ago.
"Down by the water there was something large, floating. At first we thought that is was a large piece of plastic, but then we saw an eye. I went down to check and saw that it was a very strange looking fish," Eriksson said to the Svenska Dagbladet daily.
The unexpected find proved to be a very rare Giant Oarfish also known as the "King of Herrings" and reported to have inspired the myth of sea snakes.
The fish, which can grow up to around 12 metres long and weigh 272 kilos, is typically found in the world's oceans, at depths of 300-600 metres.
The fish generally only comes to the surface when it is dead, as in the case of the 3.5 metre beast landed by Eriksson and his friends.
LLL Prediction - Home win
Sunday (19.00 Spanish time)
Racing (17th) v Sporting (14th)
The most blatant arse-kissing manoeuvre of the season was performed by the ever outspoken - and blatantly doo-lally - president of Cantabria, Miguel Angel Revilla.
Like most regional leaders in Spain, he is more than happy to ride the gravy train of the successes of the local football team - see the truly odious, Queen of the Harpees Esperanza Aguirre fawning over AtlÃÂ©tico Madrid - and stick their bonkers beaks into situations when the chips are down.
Revilla decided to stir a bit of controversy by imploring visiting - and comfortably midtable - Sporting to roll-over against Racing on Sunday by claiming that Ã¢ÂÂthere is a brotherhood between Asturias and Cantabria and Sporting are my second team.Ã¢ÂÂ
The moustachioed madman also wrote an open letter to Sporting fans to implore them to back the relegation-threatened side during the game.
Ã¢ÂÂI hope to hear the shouts of oÃ¢ÂÂRacing! Racing!Ã¢ÂÂ from the throats of the Asturians,Ã¢ÂÂ pleaded Revilla.
LLL Prediction - Home win
Barcelona (1st) v Valladolid (16th)
So, the situation is this. In Spain, teams tied on points are not divided by goal difference - far too much 8-0 funny business would take place on the final day for that - but instead on head-to-head records. And this is why BarÃÂ§aÃ¢ÂÂs double victory over Real Madrid is worth an extra point.
If more than one team share the same amount of points - the situation with Tenerife, MÃÂ¡laga, Racing and Valladolid who are all on 36 - then it turns into a mini-league. In this particular case, Valladolid had the best record having picked up eight points in this very small division, putting them in 16th. Tenerife had the worst leaving them second-from-bottom of the table and their fans in the peculiar situation of being Madrid and BarÃÂ§a supporters for the day.
But if anyone reading is confused by all this, then donÃ¢ÂÂt feel too bad. Even the Spanish FA and the Spanish League had two different league tables on their sites for much of the week, one putting MÃÂ¡laga in the relegation zone and the other listing Racing.
LLL Prediction - Valladolid to be mullered. Quickly.
Valencia (3rd) v Tenerife (19th)
Unai Emery has been rewarded for finishing nearly thirty points behind the leaders with a new contract at the club by fulfilling his main obligation of returning Champions League football to Mestalla.
Despite the delay in announcing the decision, club president Manuel Llorente claimed Ã¢ÂÂwe didnÃ¢ÂÂt think about anyone else but Unai.Ã¢ÂÂ
The news was not so good for RubÃÂ©n Baraja who was informed via the media that his contract would not be renewed and so responded to this announcement in the traditional Valencia way - with bitterness and recriminations. Ã¢ÂÂThis wasnÃ¢ÂÂt done well. They could have told me a month ago,Ã¢ÂÂ grumbled the midfielder.
LLL Prediction - Draw
Osasuna (13th) v Xerez (20th)
Now if Xerez win their tie against Osasuna and enough teams above them lose, a whole new mini-table is created. But thankfully, AS have saved LLLÃ¢ÂÂs brainless bacon by running the various scenarios that would see the southern side safe for another season and make Xerez coach, NÃÂ©stor Gorosito, the manager of this year and every year to come until the end of days.
Xerez stay up if they beat Osasuna and all four sides above them lose. Xerez stay up if they beat Osasuna and Valladolid, Racing and MÃÂ¡laga lose. Xerez stay up if Valladolid, Tenerife and MÃÂ¡laga lose.
Ã¢ÂÂIÃ¢ÂÂm a believer, but I donÃ¢ÂÂt believe in miracles,Ã¢ÂÂ claims Gorosito who says that if salvation should take place it was done through hard-work and the playersÃ¢ÂÂ performances.
LLL Prediction - Home win (because Osasuna are nasty like that)
MÃÂ¡laga (18th) v Real Madrid (2nd)
ThursdayÃ¢ÂÂs edition of Marca attempted the curious feat of boasting that it is extraordinarily rare for a Real Madrid manager to remain in his post without winning anything in a season. And that this was a very positive thing indeed.
Proudly publishing the fact that the club has had 28 coaches in 20 seasons and only two have made it to the three year mark, it was all part of the tiresome campaign to have Manuel Pellegrini kicked out of the Bernabeu. FridayÃ¢ÂÂs web headline features an interview with Samuel EtoÃ¢ÂÂo and the headline claim that Ã¢ÂÂMourinho is not a defensive coach,Ã¢ÂÂ despite years of evidence to the contrary.
Nevertheless, Pellegrini does have one supporter in Zidane who claimed that Ã¢ÂÂI hope he stays, but I am at this club to learn. The president is the one who is charge and makes the decisions.Ã¢ÂÂ
Despite the backing of FlorentinoÃ¢ÂÂs Ã¢ÂÂadvisorÃ¢ÂÂ it does look like that it is going to be the last match for the chilled-out Chilean at Madrid especially with JosÃÂ© MourinhoÃ¢ÂÂs claim that he would manage at the Bernabeu Ã¢ÂÂsooner of later.Ã¢ÂÂ
The MÃÂ¡laga match could well be a good-bye for Gonzalo HiguaÃÂn, too, victim of the fact that he does not sell enough shirts and makes KakÃÂ¡ and Karim Benzema look bad.
AS report that an offer of renewal has been made by the club of a Ã¢ÂÂ¬3.5m a year salary, but that would still see him paid only a little bit more than Royston Drenthe and some Ã¢ÂÂ¬4.5m less than his French non-World Cup teammate.
LLL Prediction - Draw
More from La Liga Loca