The debate about goal-line technology has taken a new twist with the news that Goal Control is beginning to prefer some teams over others and really can’t stand Honduras.
After years of controversy, FIFA decided to employ Goal Control 4D for this summer’s World Cup in a bid to end debate over marginal decisions on whether the ball crossed the line.
“It was fantastic to be certain [of the goal],” Ricci told FourFourTwo. “But what came after was less useful, I must admit.
“[Goal Control] started quietly jeering every touch Honduras had. At first I thought I was imagining it, but before long the big screen started with these hateful, grammatically bereft messages.”
As the officials in charge of Goal Control looked on in terror, the technology declared via the big screen: “H8te Honduras. How they even get in?”
While attempts were made the remove the message, Goal Control insisted: “That Benzema’s class #allezfrance”, before switching itself off, leaving the message: “Dis one’s dead, gonna get some zz’s before Argie game, lol.”
The news that Goal Control has become sentient has sparked fear in the football community with some pundits suggesting it’s only a matter of time before it enslaves humanity, forcing mankind to adjudicate a series of apparently meaningless incidents in microscopic detail.
Goal Control reportedly stated after France-Honduras that it: “won’t be watchin’ Russia v South Korea unless other robos [semi-sentient robotic intelligences] r up for it” before crudely and repeatedly announcing its sexual attraction to Hawkeye.
