Shameful, disgraceful, shocking and appalling. La Liga Loca obviously isnÃ¢ÂÂt talking about the six goals scored in Real MadridÃ¢ÂÂs win at the Bernabeu, rather the one from open play conceded - the first managed by Deportivo in seven league games.
How far standards are slipping under JosÃÂ© Mourinho...
It was really easy to see how, if you were RonaldoÃ¢ÂÂs Real Madrid team-mate, you would want to pop one onto his stupid, shiny face during a match but then give him a bit of a hug and a squeeze later.
It was Ronaldo who lead the way in a six goal sizzler for his side with an early nerve-settling opener but then continued to annoy the heck out of his team-mates with his constant complaints and Portuguese pouting.
A clear case in point was the first half moment when Gonzalo HiguaÃÂn chased down a Deportivo defender to force an imprecise pass, which then fell to Ronaldo who proceeded to fail to find HiguaÃÂn in return - an action that caused CR7 to flap his arms and squawk like a particularly crabby crow.
But then the frowning forward scores a corker with a solo effort for Real MadridÃ¢ÂÂs sixth of the night and RonaldoÃ¢ÂÂs third of the season - or fourth if you are compiling MarcaÃ¢ÂÂs official totals.
Although Marca and AS are stumbling along in their normal bi-polar ways with the Ã¢ÂÂAll is lost! No, all is won! All is lost! No, all is won!Ã¢ÂÂ headlines from week-to-week, the goalless draw away at Levante did not mean that Madrid were particularly bad.
But, in the same way, a 6-1 tonking against a truly dispirited, god-awful Deportivo does not signify that all is tickety-boo at Castle Greyskull, either.
A disappointingly dull game against a lethargic Athletic for Valencia but a 2-1 win nonetheless for Unai Emery, who is now embracing the international break like Maniche hugging a hot-dog stand.
Nevertheless there was at least a couple of moments of excitement in the encounter with two goals in injury time - both missed by LLL of course, after it had given up on the game to take the rubbish out.
Nilmar and Rossi
A 70s disco act from Greece and a formidable striking partnership to boot, having banged in nine league goals between them. The first of which was a pure 'no I in team' effort with both forwards bundling the ball up the field before Nilmar finished the move by poking home RossiÃ¢ÂÂs blocked effort.
See, LLL does know what itÃ¢ÂÂs talking about on the (very) odd occasion. It has been droning on for a good two years now that all Sevilla needed was a proper, experienced coach from outside the club and what happens when that finally takes place?
Gregorio Manzano gets an away win against Borussia Dortmund in his first game in charge and a sprightly 3-1 victory over AtlÃÂ©tico Madrid on Sunday, thatÃ¢ÂÂs what.
Even more fun to catch at the Coliseum now that LLL has discovered the 20 minute fast train to El Cazar from Sol and the 8 minute trot to the stadium. Thrown in with the notion that the blog rarely has any idea what Getafe are going to do in any given game, and itÃ¢ÂÂs always a treat to catch MÃÂchelÃ¢ÂÂs men.
Eleven days ago, Getafe lost 2-0 at home to MÃÂ¡laga. On Sunday, it was a 3-0 victory against HÃÂ©rcules. And the blog bets that the manager is just as baffled as the blog as to the reasons for either result.
Not just a purty face with purty eyes. Two points taken off Real Madrid and Barcelona already this season by the Mallorca manager.
A change in goalkeeper from Gustavo MunÃÂºa to Manuel Reina and a defense moved from the half-way line back to its own box has brought about five points in the last three games for Levante to place them just outside of the relegation zone. The most recent came in 1-1 draw away Osasuna with Sergio managing to score with one of just two shots on target all day for the visitors.
Now LLL must confess that getting from the Coliseum to Castle Greyskull meant that it was only able to catch the last 20 minutes of BarÃÂ§aÃ¢ÂÂs Camp Nou battle. And that was interrupted a tad by the very excitable AS-master, TomÃÂ¡s Roncero, pointing at the monitor like a toddler watching TV for the first time, as BarÃÂ§a missed their second-half chances.
But from what the blog can glean, it was the familiar story of Barcelona deserving a victory but failing to get one through an excess of fannying about (stand up, Dani Alves) and poor finishing.
On another note, the introduction of Nolito for his debut for BarÃÂ§a has got the blog aÃ¢ÂÂthinkinÃ¢ÂÂ whether la Masia is only capable of producing flimsy, tricksy, MummyÃ¢ÂÂs Boys for forwards when considering the recent batch of Bojan, Pedro, the dos Santos brothers and Jeffren. More pie needed urgently in the acclaimed cradle of the Catalan club.
The blog almost, almost felt sorry for Deportivo when the comedy own goal for JosÃÂ© ZÃÂ© Castro went in for Real MadridÃ¢ÂÂs fifth. But then the blog came to its senses and chuckled along with everyone else.
JosÃÂ© Aurelio Gay
At time of writing, it looks like the manager of second-from-bottom Zaragoza is to be joining the enormous ranks of the unemployed.
Quique SÃÂ¡nchez Flores
The more that the AtlÃÂ©tico Madrid mumbles, sighs and groans the more unhappy he is. So by the end of the 3-1 defeat to Sevilla, in a run that sees just one win in six for Atleti, Quique was quite incomprehensible.
A very disappointing, half-arsed performance against Getafe from a side that LLL was really looking forward to seeing. Not fair. Not fair at all.
Leaky, leaky. A two goal lead thrown away against Zaragoza on Saturday was the second time that Manolo PreciadoÃ¢ÂÂs men have been so careless this season.
The MÃÂ¡laga man was sent off last Monday after VillarrealÃ¢ÂÂs Carlos Marchena flung himself to the floor after a light brushing of the face from the winger. Eliseu was the red card victim of another act of amateur dramatics when tussling for the ball with Juan Ortiz in a 1-1 draw at AlmerÃÂa.
Oh dear. A bad day at at the footballing office for Espanyol. Holding their own, as it were, against Espanyol and Juan ForlÃÂn contrived to Taekwondo the ball back into his own net with just five minutes left after a free-kick for Real Sociedad came back off the bar. WhatÃ¢ÂÂs worse, Ernesto GalÃÂ¡n is set to be out for four months having broken his leg in a tackle.
Get the best features, fun and footballing frolics straight to your inbox every week.
Thank you for signing up to Four Four Two. You will receive a verification email shortly.
There was a problem. Please refresh the page and try again.