The gum-chewing oft-diving Premier Review
Who's No.1? It depends what time you ask.
Top spot switched hands a couple of times over the weekend. On Saturday, Chelsea dished out a beating to Stamford Bridge legend Gianfranco ZolaÃ¢ÂÂs West Ham to go back in front.
But they topped the table for only 24 hours until Manchester United beat Fulham. Wayne Rooney helped himself to another two goals before Dimitar Berbatov added a third by beating the Fulham defence to a pinpoint Park Ji Sung cross.
That puts the Bulgarian on 10 league goals, equalling the amount of own goals scored for by the opposition for Manchester United this season. However, there's bad news for Berbatov: the next visitors to Old Trafford are Liverpool, featuring Jamie Carragher.
Meanwhile, cows all over the country are back on red alert after sightings were reported this weekend of ArsenalÃ¢ÂÂs Nicklas Bendtner swanning around with a banjo. DonÃ¢ÂÂt believe all this extra-work-on-the-training-field talk; the gum-chewing Dane is without doubt an avid reader of the blog and was spurred on by last weekÃ¢ÂÂs criticism.
After his Champions League hat-trick in the week, Bendter scored what could prove to be a vital winner in added on time against Hull and kept the Gunners right up there in the title race.
Two terrible kits were on display at St Andrews, where Birmingham City battled back from a two-goal deficit earning themselves a draw with Everton. The Toffees must have been furious Ã¢ÂÂ but not with their second half collapse, with the lunatic who came up with this bizarre away kit. One thingÃ¢ÂÂs for sure, there was no shirt-swapping at the final whistle.
Speaking of whistles, we must have missed the official announcement telling referees to stop booking players for diving. There were at least three obvious dives in the penalty area this weekend and each time the ref signaled for the offending player to get up, acknowledging simulation, but brandished no card. After a few months of showing much-needed yellow cards, it seems that referees or FIFA arenÃ¢ÂÂt interested in kicking cheating out of the game.
But with all the negative stories about the game these days, itÃ¢ÂÂs nice to hear about professional football giving something back. The Nike (Red) match balls used in the Premier League, La Liga, and Serie A, were designed to publicise and fund efforts to fight the AIDS epidemic in Africa. Buy it here and 100% of the profits will go to the charity.
And finally, today, March 15, is the anniversary of the formation of Liverpool Football Club in 1892, and coincides with their home game against bottom club Portsmouth.
In their previous matches this month the Reds have taken fewer shots than holidaymakers visiting some foreign countries. If youÃ¢ÂÂre reading this before the game at Anfield, give me your predictions on how many shots theyÃ¢ÂÂll get at David JamesÃ¢ÂÂ goal tonight.