Jose, the evil Betis overlord and the Ally McBeal DVDs

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Valencia v Valencia
David Albeda has had quite a bit of time on his hairy hands since being ordered never to darken the Mestalla doorstep ever again. So he has gone and bought himself powerded wig and a box set of Ally McBeal DVDs.

That's because David Albeda is about to have his big day in court.

In just nine days time, the mistackling midfielder will be going before a despairing judge, along with a number of personnel from Valencia, in a case he has called against his employers.

Albeda is demanding that Soler and co cough up the cash owed on the rest of his contract and immediately make him a free agent, so he can head to England and ensure his place in the Spanish squad for Euro 2008.

Should he win, he will be having his cake, eating it and spitting the crumbs at everyone around him.

Albeda's argument is that Koeman's claim that he will ever play for Valencia again prevents him from pursuing his profession - something quite illegal in pain, apparently.

The big day that Valencia's bigwigs are currently trying to avoid like a vegetarian meal is on 22nd February. And on that Friday, Juan Soler, Ronald Koeman, José Mari Bakero, two trainers, Vicente, Joaquín, David Silva and David Villa are expected to testify before a judge.

"I hope I don't have to go before him," admitted a fretting Villa, whilst Albeda just hopes that the mysteriously absent Soler turns up for the big date. I hope he doesn't hide," grumbled the former captain.

Meanwhile, Valencia have handed out their own form of rough justice by fining Miguel and Manuel Fernandes around 25,000 euros each for a breaking a curfew and their participation in a night-club fracas involving the local Old Bill.

The Blame Game
Real Betis' evil overlord has come up with a cunning plan. Rather than funding his own team properly, Manuel Ruiz de Lopera has decided to look into the possibility of subsidising a Brazilian club, so he can import their players to Spain, on the cheap - a policy that has worked so well, in recent years with Robert, Sobis...

Meanwhile, the human hand puppet of de Lopera, José León, has blamed their current perilous predicament on a lack of proper leadership, stability, investment in youth and poor signings. Not really. He has blamed it on officialdom.

"The referee was against us again," grumbled the portly president, after Sunday's 3-1 defeat to Valencia. And the 1-0 home defeat to Deportivo. And the 3-0 thrashing by Sevilla and the...

It's a similar blame game been taken by Murcia who have not yet spotted the link between constantly criticising referees and being on the wrong end of their decisions.

"Velasco has taken five points from us, no doubt about it," complained club president, Jesús Samper, on the man in the middle for Saturday's defeat to Villarreal.

Digging Deeper
Sevilla president and lawyer to the lawless, José del Nido managed to completely undermined his current coach, Manolo Jiménez - the replacement for the departed Juande Ramos.

"We all trusted Jiménez. We understood that he was the one that knew the first team the most. It was the option for the next season. I am convinced that he will prevail in Sevilla."

Which is all fine and dandy had he not boasted minutes before that they had approached Jose Mourinho for the post - something Mourinho's people deny - but found his wage demands too high.

"There was another solution that was Mourinho, that requested to us, through an intermediary, 10m gross," revealed del Nido as the current managerial incumbent sobbed quietly in the background.