La Liga Loca’s Good Day, Bad Day - Round 33

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Good Day

La Liga

Whether itâÂÂs down to the relentless rain in Madrid clearing away the weekend barf-patches from the barrio, or the thought that an Icelandic volcano might spare LLL from having to sit through 90 minutes of LiverpoolâÂÂs âÂÂspecialâ football stylings at a damp Vicente Calderón on Thursday, but the blog woke up in the chippiest of moods, this morning.

So it is delighted to report that a manic midweek round of matches, combined with the weekendâÂÂs results has suddenly booted a bit of life into a Primera campaign that had been passed out the pavement.

Reading SundayâÂÂs editorial in Marca ahead of the Valencia clash, LLL had the distinct impression that the paper was actively willing Madrid to miss the opportunity handed them by Espanyol to close the gap on Barcelona to one point and roger things up royally against the men from Mestalla.

After all, if Manuel Pellegrini were to actually win the league title in his first season, it would jam a big old spanner into the works of the ongoing Florentino Pérez-inspired campaign to boot the Chilean coach from the Bernabeu.

Even by MadridâÂÂs wacky standards, it would look more than a little ludicrous for the club to ditch a Primera-winning manager for the fourth time in a row.

So, all this back story sits behind the paperâÂÂs vile, mean-spirited headline on Sunday that âÂÂit would be unforgivable if Pellegrini were to throw away EspanyolâÂÂs giftâ and the attack on the Madrid manager for an apparently off-the-cuff comment that he didnâÂÂt know if he would watch the Catalan derby on Saturday night.

âÂÂHow bad for a Primera manager not to see such an important clash,â sneered Marca. 

Insult was piled on top of injury on SundayâÂÂs back page with the paperâÂÂs Real Madrid editor, Miguel Serrano, responding to the reality that neither Wenger, Benítez, nor Mourinho will realistically be coming to the Bernabeu in the summer, by drumming up support for the appointment of former player and current Getafe boss, Míchel - an idea that should strike a ice-cream tub of fear into Madridista hearts.

âÂÂMíchel was born to manage Real Madrid,â blurbs Serrano, dictating the fax that came straight from FlorentinoâÂÂs office, perhaps.

In response to the subsequent victory for Madrid, MondayâÂÂs editorial praises Real MadridâÂÂs robustness against Valencia but throws few crumbs of comfort in PellegriniâÂÂs direction.

Instead it is Cristiano Ronaldo (of course) that is praised to the gods in the paperâÂÂs Top Ten of the weekend with his âÂÂvoracityâ and âÂÂnever giving up a ball for lost.âÂÂ

âÂÂEspanyol will see this as two points dropped and Barça as a valuable point won, as it could have easily been none.

2) Guardiola / Valdes: that's how you do a press conference, Xavi. Show a bit of class and admit that you were lucky to escape with a point.

3) Men of the match: Any one of Espanyol's back line and Forlin was excellent too. For Barça, Pique, by a country mile. Best defender I've seen this year, pity he's such a (rude word alert!- LLL).

4) Supporters: Fantastic hostile atmosphere created by the Pericos while the 350/400 Barça fans sat in silence (maybe they thought it was a home game?) and no scarves, banners or anything. Might as well have stayed at home.

5) The ref - all he did was favour neither side and that's all we ask for.âÂÂ

The only shiny, proud follicle in SevillaâÂÂs bold spot of despair was another goal for young cantera full back, Juan Cala, who has now scored in his three last games for the club.

Víctor Valdés & Diego López

Bickering over who should be SpainâÂÂs third choice goalkeeper is a bit of a pee-take to an EnglishblogâÂÂs ears, considering Fabio CapelloâÂÂs choice for the actual number one spot is between a 50-year-old whose nickname is âÂÂCalamityâ and an accident prone, soon-to-be-relegated bumpkin who used to play for Norwich.

But thatâÂÂs been one of the background hums in Spain, this week, with the louder murmuring supporting the case to take Valdés to South Africa.

And rightly so, as the Barça stopper was solid, once again, against Espanyol and may well have won a point for his team with a cracking stop against Osvaldo in the Catalan derby.

However, the Villarreal keeper showed that it would be a tad unfair to discard him from the Spanish ranks at such a late stage with a fine performance against the Atlético attack - and the last two words were written without the slightest hint of a giggle.

VillarrealâÂÂs 2-1 win over Atlético, the sideâÂÂs fourth from five, also inspired the weekâÂÂs most inane question award with one bright spark asking Garrido if the victory - which moved Villarreal into sixth - meant that âÂÂEurope was possible?âÂÂ

On Sunday, it was TenerifeâÂÂs precarious situation in the relegation zone that inspired the creation of an enormous rice dish to bring forth a victory over visiting Getafe to leave Tenerife with back-to-back wins in the league and just one point from safety.

The blog actually thinks a point in such a testy, tripwire-laden encounter is a fairly good one, but with La Liga Loca surrounded by the hysteria of the Madridista press, it might as well join in on the âÂÂall is doomed, doomed!â fun after the goalless draw in Cornella. Just so as not to feel left out.

âÂÂIt was not a great game from Barcelona, but you canâÂÂt really blame them for anything,â wrote Josep María Casanovas in neat summary of the vibe from the Catalan clash. 

Joan Laporta & Daniel Sánchez-Llibre

âÂÂInfantileâ was the insult thrown by the Barcelona president at his Espanyol counterpart in the quarrelling pairâÂÂs ongoing feud.

âÂÂCucumber!â was the probably mistranslated response from the Perico president.

âÂÂGrow up or get a roomâ is La Liga LocaâÂÂs riposte to the duelling duo, with the latter leaving the most unsavoury of images in mind.

The PPM - pouts per minute - monitor hit an unprecented 20 during the Valencia clash, with Cristiano inspiring Roberto Palomar to write in MarcaâÂÂs Monday edition that âÂÂthe Real Madrid match delegate has to think seriously about the possibility of offering two balls to the referee: one for the game, and the other for Ronaldo.âÂÂ

Quique Sánchez-Flores

Although Quique repeated his âÂÂmea culpaâ performance of the midweek defeat to Xerez after SaturdayâÂÂs Villarreal loss, the Atleti boss could not hide his disdain for centre-back, Alvaro Domínguez, after he lost his man for GodínâÂÂs goal and was promptly substituted after 26 minutes.

âÂÂIt pains me to see us returning to the same mistakes of five months ago,â complained the Rojiblanco ruler on the defender who very nearly blubbed like a baby whilst peering out from the Atlético bench.

On a side note, the Atlético Madrid manager now appears to be a shade of atomic orange, as if he has spent the week sleeping inside the Large Hadron Super-Collider. 

An enormous waste of money. Nearly three seasons at the Vicente Calderón and naff-all to show for it.

âÂÂWe are going to win the five games left,â claimed the Portuguese winger saying that his team-mates would be working their Rojiblanco socks off to undo the damage of three league defeats in a row. âÂÂPoppycockâ suggest LLL.

The sneaky little so-and-so faked being slammed in the face by a push-off from SportingâÂÂs José Angel to inspire a second-yellow for the full back and a sending off.

Three defeats in a row sees Sporting just four points from the relegation zone, a part of the table Manuel PreciadoâÂÂs men have no business being in after what had previously been a fine campaign.

Málaga, Valladolid

LLL can only imagine the commentator for TV channel, La Sexta, tasked with narrating the highlights of the Málaga v Valladolid goalless draw was having his shaven gonads zapped with bolts of electricity whenever the ratings slipped during the broadcast.

âÂÂDonâÂÂt go away, itâÂÂs such a wonderful spectacle!â yelled the commentator in desperation with the first-half summary of balls being whacked over the bar all but over. âÂÂItâÂÂs a match of drama! Of fear!âÂÂ

No...it was  an unending stream of footballing puke....

Deportivo & Almería

....And not unlike the goalless encounter between these two sides, the highlight of which was DeporâÂÂs Juan Rodríguez charging up field, attempting a shimmy and falling flat on his useless posterior.

Although it has, of course, no bearing on the Valencia strikerâÂÂs overall quality, David Villa has been utter rubbish on every single occasion that LLL has seen the striker playing in person for his club.

SundayâÂÂs useless, half-arsed display against Real Madrid was no different.

You can catch LLL in pundit mode on RMTVâÂÂs(Sky Dig 446) review show  âÂÂExtra TimeâÂÂ, on Monday at 22.05 CET and repeated throughout the week.