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Lambert disgusted by Stoke’s lack of ambition in appointing him

Paul Lambert

New Stoke boss attacks club for hiring him instead of literally anyone else, Back of the Net reveal

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Paul Lambert has revealed his dismay at the lack of imagination Stoke City's board have shown in offering him a two-and-a-half-year contract.

I’m pretty disappointed at the board’s quite obvious lack of vision

Lambert joins Stoke following unsuccessful spells at Aston Villa, Blackburn and Wolves, which, he says, exemplifies the way in which consistent mediocrity is rewarded at the highest level.

“I’m pretty disappointed at the board’s quite obvious lack of vision,” Lambert told journalists at his official unveiling. “How can they expect to take the club to the next level if they keep hiring also-rans like me, Paul Lambert?

“You’d hope they’d be bold and offer it to a young manager making waves lower down the league, or someone from abroad with new ideas, or even promote a youth coach who’ll put his trust in the academy system,” he continued.

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“You could have had Marcelo Bielsa. You could have had Zdenek Zeman. You could have had Ossie Ardies, for Pete’s sake. It would have been a disaster, but it would have been fun. Like taking ayahuasca and breaking into the zoo and freeing the ocelots.

“But no, it’s me, Paul Lambert. Like taking half an ibuprofen with a mug of Earl Grey and undoing the top button on your cardigan. Another grey-faced, pear-shaped man to bumble along the lower reaches of the Premier League until I inevitably get sacked and replaced with Alan Pardew or Sam Allardyce.

“What’s the point of me, Paul Lambert, at Stoke?” He added, rubbing his eyes while shaking his head slowly. “It’s a bad move all round, and everyone will wish it never happened.”

Lambert added that he would definitely waste a huge amount of money on ill-judged signings with no resale value, in keeping with the club’s lack of anything approaching a strategic vision.

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