Rob Burnett rounds up the week's best goals and gaffes from around the world...
In this weekâÂÂs Video Stars we have a veritable cornucopia of horrendous howlers and superlative strikes so letâÂÂs dive right in before they get away!
OGGY OGGY OGGY!
Own goals are so unsatisfying. Often there is an awkward pause while everyone tries to work out whatâÂÂs happened while the team who has benefited run around unsure who to celebrate with.
Meanwhile the unfortunate soul who has put it in at the wrong end has to make do with pitying slaps on the back from his team-mates.
Swansea fans will be hoping Garry Monk doesnâÂÂt make a habit of knocking the ball past his own keeper as he did on Saturday to hand Fulham an undeserved lead in their FA Cup tie at the Liberty Stadium.
"MONKY'S!!!!! Oh dear"
We all love a player executing a diving header at an altitude of six inches, and all the better when it sails into his own net. Braga's Orlando Sa did just that, handing Leixoes a 1-0 lead.
While Valencia defender Raul Albiol arrived at the near post first to level for Malaga with this stab past his own keeper from close range.
With many own goals, the offending player is often simply in the way of the ball and deflects it in, but once in a while you come across an OG that appears entirely intentional.
Step forward Giorgio Lucenti of Serie B side Frosinone, who gifted Parma a last-minute winner with this effort on Tuesday to make it 2-1. Sheer class, just at the wrong end.
MINISTRY OF DEFENCE
None of the Bologna defenders would have been able to look their manager in the eye after they made a right old spaghetti Bolognese out of dealing with this ball to allow Marco di Viao of Napoli to equalise.
The next clip from Godoy CruzâÂÂs 2-1 win over San Lorenzo in Argentina really is a lesson in how not to defend, as the Godoy defence makes a right old Titus Shambles of dealing with a long ball from the San Lorenzo keeper.
After failing to challenge for the first ball and allowing it to bounce towards the edge of the box, the glove-man then misses the ball before, defender, Gabriel Valles whacks his attempted clearance straight into the keeper and thence into the net.
The Three Stooges would have been proud of that one.
KEEPERS
Command your area! Not like Bielefield's keeper Dennis Eilhoff, who came flapping out for a Hamburg free kick taken by Piotr Trochowski which sailed straight over him and in.
Facing Lyon, Le Havre's keeper Christophe Revault could be forgiven for conceding a brilliant Juninho free-kick â but this killer third goal wasn't it.
"I didn't see that coming." "Neither did he!" "Lolz."
While Pacos Ferreira glove-man Cassio made a right hash of dealing with Benfica's Oscar Cardozo. Luckily for the keyboard-monickered net-minder, his mates saved the day with a 3-2 win.
Raul became Real MadridâÂÂs record goalscorer at the weekend after bagging a brace in a 4-0 win at Sporting Gijon.
Judging by Gijon keeper Inaki LafuenteâÂÂs effort at a âÂÂsaveâ from Higuain, he was keen to help Raul add to his tally as the Madrid man tucked the ball home for the easiest goal of his 309 in the famous white shirt.
And in the UEFA Cup, Copenhagen keeper Jesper Christiansen hands Manchester City the easiest of leads at the Parken Stadium, allowing Nedum Onuoha's miserable shot to squirm under his body. A 100%, solid gold, howler extraordinaire.
MEET THE MISSES
CoventryâÂÂs Aron Gunnarsson rightly had his head in his hands after heading a set-piece atrociously wide from six-yards at Blackburn.
But it was topped by two cock-ups in the same match, as Trinidad and Tobago let a 2-0 lead slip against El Salvador, largely thanks to two misses from Stern John and Kenwyne Jones.
First John skies a penalty Chris Waddle-style before Jones manages to miss an open goal from four yards out.
GOL!
Occasionally footballers do manage to get it right and pull off something which, as the old cliché goes, is worth the entrance fee alone.
WeâÂÂll start our round-up of the weekâÂÂs best goals at Hamburg, who scored a second against Bielefeld thanks to this great Paulo Guerrero left-foot curler from the edge of the box.
Rio Ave may have lost at Porto, but at least they got to witness Fabio Coentrao cut in from the right, roll the ball under his foot, beat two players and curl home this left-footed beauty.
Valladolid's Pedro Leon also saw his best efforts go to waste. After opening the scoring against Almeria with this fabulous free kick, his side eventually lost 3-2.
Next, Bochum's Mimoun Azouagh crashes home a dipping outswinger as his side came from behind to beat Schalke 2-1.
While in Portugal, Benfica's Angel di Maria loops in a 30-yard diagonal left-footer to make it 3-1 against Pacos Ferreira.
And after opening the scoring for Spain against England just days earlier, David Villa swipes home a belter for Valencia against Malaga.
Also in La Liga, Negredo floats home a clever lob to complete nine-man Almeria's remarkable win from two down against Valladolid.
Over in Oz, Melbourne's Tommy Pondeljak volleys home a delightful chipped ball from Carlos Hernandez (who made two others and scored himself) as the Victory eased into the Grand Final by crushing Adelaide 4-0.
Back in Blighty, Blackburn striker Roque Santa Cruz may want a move away from Ewood Park, but while heâÂÂs around he might as well crash in the odd sweet strike like this one against Coventry in the FA Cup.
But Aron Gunnarsson wasn't to be upstaged, atoning for his earlier miss with a 25-yard piledriver to haul the Sky Blues level.
"Wallop!"
Elsewhere in the Cup, Jason Scotland earned Swansea a replay with Fulham with a neat spin in the box and smash past Mark Schwarzer, his 12th goal in as many games.
While in League 1, Millwall's James Henry denied struggling Swindon a valuable away win at the New Den, smashing home a 30-yard rocket in injury-time to rescue a point for the Lions.
Picture the scene. ItâÂÂs the last minute, the keeperâÂÂs come up for a corner, the breakawayâÂÂs on, what you need is a speed-merchant.
Step forward â at pace â Bristol City's Ivan Sproule, who legged it virtually the full length of the pitch to score from a yard on a last-minute counter-attack against Southampton.
Birmingham City fans may now have forgiven Keith FaheyâÂÂs previous stint with Aston Villa after his cute chip from an acute angle sealed victory in a 2-0 win against Nottingham Forest.
"Wahey!" "No, Fahey."
While the brilliantly-named CSKA Moscow player Vagner Love showed just why David Moyes is apparently so keen to bring him to Everton with a corker against Aston Villa.
After playing a one-two with Alan Dzagoez, the Brazilian front-man steamed forward and finished confidently past Brad Guzman in goal. Nice.
AND FINALLYâ¦
While of course we would never find it amusing to see a referee get knocked out cold after getting a ball full in the face, we thought you might so have a look at this from the Lazio vs Torino match on Sunday. One referee was hurt in the making of this film.
Enjoy the weekend's games â and send details of any great goals or gormless gaffes to gary.parkinson@haymarket.com
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