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Zombies, bouncers, shooters & a sea-lion

When last mentioning the Segunda-bound Real Betis in blog dispatches, La Liga Loca made the rather snooty suggestion that only a couple of lagered-up flamenco singers and some confused tourists would be participating in the march against club owner Darth Manuel Ruiz de Lopera.

For the kerzillionth time, the blog was shown to be quite wrong in its prediction.

An admirable 60,000 turned up in their green-and-white shirts to defy DarthâÂÂs zombie army and offer unrepeatable suggestions as to what Don Manuel could do with his club.

However, many Betis fans may be thinking that there's no reason a club run by lobotomised loons can't get promoted to the Primera. After all, it happened last season for their fellow Andalusians Xerez.

Before becoming the newest champions of the second division ahead of Tenerife and Zaragoza, Xerez first announced their name to the wide world of sport when club president Joaquín Bilbao was arrested.

Instead, Bilbao was nicked after a big night out that involved an ill-advised punch-up with a Russian bouncer and busting some caps into the door of a 'gentlemanâÂÂs establishment' that had closed for the night.


"Yer name's not dahn... 'EE'S GOT A SHOOTAH!!"

Fortunately for Joaquín, his driver took the rap for the shooting business, but the global attention and a night behind bars meant that El Presidente was forced to step down from his role at the club.

Xerez then joined the ever-growing list of Spanish sides that have been unable to pay their players, but still managed somehow to finish top of the league and win promotion to the top flight for the first time in the clubâÂÂs history.

After only being offered a one-year contract extension and a transfer kitty the size of ManicheâÂÂs brain, Esteban Vigo this week told his bosses to spin on it and moved back to the second division to manage the brilliantly-named Hercules.

Their own manager, former Real Madrid player Juan Carlos Mandía, has moved to Racing Santander.

ThatâÂÂs because the annoyingly long-named Juan Ramón López Muñiz has gone back to his former club, Málaga.

And thatâÂÂs because their former boss Antonio Tapia has gone on to manage Betis.

*You can catch the more telegenic half of La Liga Loca on pundit duty on Real Madrid TV on Tuesday night from 19.00 UK time for their live coverage of KakáâÂÂs presentation. Sky Digital channel 446.

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