“This doesn’t look like an ice pack, gaffer”

Icing your groin after the opposition’s hatchet man has left his mark can be a tricky business. After all, a handful of ice in a tea towel usually leaves a wet patch an incontinent toddler would be ashamed of.

But it doesn’t have to be like this. The Game Ready treatment system (gameready.co.uk), used here by Alex Oxlade-Chamberlain, means you can avoid those awkward leaks while ditching the primitive ice pack.

It uses anatomical wraps, featuring NASA spacesuit technology, to encompass any part of the body. The control unit circulates cold water and air through two separate chambers, via a hose, out to the wraps, applying compression and cold therapy.

This helps accelerate recovery, as explained by England physio Steve Kemp. “This equipment helps treat swelling and bleeding immediately so you don’t have to wait to get an ice pack on, by which time the injury has bled and often takes longer to rehabilitate,” Kemp tells FFT.

“And because it’s portable you can apply ice and compression treatment straight after games – when you’re on a plane or a coach.”

At £2,300 it probably costs more than the old banger you get a lift to your game in, but you won’t have to sell the team’s fleet of motors to get your hands on one.

Split £300 – the cost of a month’s rental – across the whole squad and you’ll be able to treat the wounded troops without a wet patch in sight.