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Berahino rumours stop for about four hours

The closure of the summer transfer window early on Tuesday evening also brought an end to transfer gossip for a whole four hours, according to FourFourTwo's well-placed press sources.

With all contracted players now committed to their current clubs until January, media interest in potential deals died away almost completely, before resuming with a vengeance around lunchtime.

“I finished writing up the [Anthony] Martial transfer, then I sorted out my in-tray, then I alphabetised my press passes, and then I broke for lunch around 10:45,” journalist Keith Newhouse told FFT.

“Then I found myself thinking about Saido Berahino, and before I knew it I was writing 600 words about a potential loan move to Real Sociedad. Tomorrow I’ll link him to Lazio, the day after to Guangzhou Evergrande, and the day after that we’ll interpret some quotes as a come-and-get-me plea to Celtic. It’s great to have a sense of purpose again.”

Blogger Barry Morris described experiencing a similar four hours of existential ennui before the rumour mill kicked back in. He said: “I’d been working non-stop ever since May reporting every bid, hint and rumour, with the deadline hanging over me like an ominous fruit,” he explained. “So when the window slammed shut, as is its wont, I didn’t know what to do. I grabbed four hours’ sleep, then I forced myself to speculate on the likelihood of Saido Berahino moving to Liverpool in part exchange for Simon Mignolet. I only worry when I start hallucinating that it might actually happen.”

Morris added that he was looking forward to a comfortable England victory over San Marino tomorrow, after which speculation about Roy Hodgson’s future might stop for approximately eight seconds.

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