A cow’s crap is worth a car

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Think raffles, bring-and-buy sales, and prize draws are pretty rubbish ways for football clubs to make cash? Well, here’s a fund-raiser that really is shit.

Over 3,000 people turned up at the home of Galician side Amoeiro Club de Fútbol, braving the rain to watch, breath bated, hearts racing, as a cow strolled round the pitch. Each and every one of them waiting in eager anticipation for Rubia - for that is the cow’s name - to, well, take a dump.

In the end, it didn’t take long. Just eight minutes, in fact. And when Rubia did drop one, a roar went up - and an excited shriek of delight. Not surprising, really: for the owner of the shriek had just become the proud owner of a Seat Leon Sportline 1.9 TDI.  

You see, the president of Amoeiro Ángel Cid came up with the ingenious idea of raising money by dividing his club’s A Penafita pitch into 6,000 virtual squares, all marked out by a GPS system to define their exact location. Punters would be invited to “buy” a piece of the pitch at 10 Euros a go. And then, at 12.30, a cow would be let loose on the pitch.

Whoever owned the plot where the cow took a dump would win the car. “La caca de una vaca vale on coche", ran the poetic slogan: a cow’s crap is worth a car. For the luckily owner of plot number 4279, that is exactly what it was worth.

For the lucky members of Amoeiro, it was also worth the future of a football club. Somehow Amoeiro sold every single plot on the pitch - which is lucky or they’d have had to encourage poor Rubia to keep on chewing the cud and keep on crapping until they found a winner - and created quite a stir.

There are fewer people in the village than the 3,000 who turned up, while bids came in from all over Spain and beyond. Even the 20,000 Euro cost of the car and the fee to the local council for a spot of bovine bovver didn’t prevent them from making over 30,000 Euros, saving the club. And making Rubia something of a media star: a fat cow producing nothing but shit earning fame and fortune.

Now where have we seen that one before?