Pepe and Iniesta fill media void with a school-yard scrap

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It’s a bit pathetic, petty and ever-so-slightly-childish. So quite naturally, the hard-hitting, dirt-digging La Liga Loca is all over the spat between Pepe and Andrés Iniesta currently being fought out through the pleased-as-punch press, who are glad to finally have something decent to chew on.

Everyone being immensely nice to each other in the wake of Sunday's Clásico left a bit of a vacuum in the Spanish football media, what with everybody agreeing the result was fair and that both Leo Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo were both jolly good players.

Ahead of September's international break, a certain Real Madrid man admitted that he felt a bit sad, which kept the presses printing and television tongues a-wagging for a good week or so. This time around, the only post-Clásico scraps have been Pepe’s suggestion that Andrés Iniesta is a bit of a diver and Tito Vilanova's retort that the Portuguese defender likes to boot people about.

Evidence of recent years could support both cases, however the two parties involved have decided to pull each other’s pig tails via the press in order to keep the story rumbling on. Iniesta responded on Tuesday by saying that “what Pepe said was offensive, but we all know him,” something bordering on a red-faced rant from the usually mild-mannered Clarke Kent of la Liga. “I’m not a cheat and nor are my team-mates,” huffed the Barça man, handedly ignoring the recent FA report over Gary Medel’s sending off which suggested quite the opposite about a certain Cesc Fabregas...

AS were Real Madrid’s heroes on Wednesday, revealing that over the past three years Pepe has been ‘foulee’ more than he has been 'fouler' by the margin of 1.3 to 0.9 - ergo Tito Vilanova is a big stupid head. All in all, it’s rather unedifying from AS, who should perhaps be giving more covering the fact that as of Wednesday morning no TV company in Spain could afford to televise Wednesday’s World Cup qualifier in Belarus.

As with Javier Casquero a few seasons back, Pepe wasn’t going to let the matter quietly lay to rest. “If someone was offended, it’s because the truth hurts,” nah-nah’ed Pepe from the safety of the Portugal camp.

There’s still a very long way to go until proper league football is back - or at least until Tuesday’s dust-up with France - so LLL is panting and pawing at the idea of the Catalan press picking up on Jordi Alba’s as yet unmade throwaway comment that Real Madrid pongs of poo-poo and a stout response from AS whose scientific tests prove that nothing but perfume oozes from the Santiago Bernabeu and that ‘tis the Catalan club that whiffs of wee-wee.

After all, whenever you think that things have hit rock bottom in la Liga, there’s always someone out there willing to starting digging. With a big, blooming drill.