Saturday
Deportivo (6th) vs Xerez (20th)
When the bean counters have finished stacking up the euro bills in the musty, smoky back offices of Riazor on Saturday night, instead of stuffing the notes into shoe boxes - how much of DeporâÂÂs financial affairs appear to have handled over the years - the loot may be snatched from their Galician grasp by bewigged legal types.
Mallorca are currently owed some â¬360,000 by Depor and AS are reporting that the club have petitioned a judge in La Coruña to freeze the gate receipts and bank accounts of their Primera rivals in an attempt to claw some of this money back.
Unfortunately, SaturdayâÂÂs princely sum from a less than sexy encounter will be around 50 quid and couple of ring pulls, with home fans not expected to be fighting to get in to watch the visit of bottom-of-the-table Xerez.
LLL Prediction - Draw
Barcelona (1st) vs Racing (14th)
A wonderful example of a non-story was reported in both Madrid papers on Friday.
BarcelonaâÂÂs professional rabble rouser Oriol Giralt, the gentleman who began a motion that nearly saw Joan Laporta kicked out of the Camp Nou in 2008, has been claiming that he has been spied upon under instructions from the Catalan club.
However, as Marca note for excellent legal reasons, Giralt offers absolutely no proof whatsoever to back-up his allegations aside from being âÂÂabsolutely certainâ that it took place.
âÂÂIt was [ordered by] a vice-president, who is no longer at the club but who currently runs a very important company,â claims Giralt.
It is a description that perfectly fits the profile of Ferran Soriano, who left the club in the same summer of the anti-Laporta motion but who now runs Spanair.
On the footballing front, Xavi-less Barcelona are hosting plucky Racing and Sergio Canales on Saturday night. The dreamy, soon-to-be Madridista striker turned 19 on Monday, and was greeted by hundreds of shrieking, boob-thrusting girls who presented Canales with cakes as he left training.
Indeed, it brought back memories of ManicheâÂÂs spell at Atlético Madrid, although the same scenes happened on a daily basis and formed part of the portly midfielderâÂÂs contract with the club.
LLL Prediction - Home win
âÂÂGoal! Now, where are all the boobs and cakes?âÂÂ
Mallorca (5th) vs Sevilla (4th)
With Sevilla in action on Saturday, La Liga Loca brings you the latest news on their Copa del Rey final with Atlético Madrid.
And that news is the planning of the main event by the Spanish FA is going swimmingly with neither a venue or date fixed for the clash.
On the Mallorca front, Gregorio Manzano has posted a rather bleak message on his blog that many have interpreted as being the start of a long good-bye to the Balearic club and its (not many) fans.
âÂÂI hope...we finish this sporting cycle full of serenity and sporting stability,â wrote Manzano.
When contacted by Marca who were curious to know if this was the beginning of the end of GregorioâÂÂs six season spell at Mallorca, Manzano insisted that he âÂÂisnâÂÂt saying goodbyeâ and that the note was merely a âÂÂthank you cardâ to supporters.
LLL Prediction - Home win
Sunday
Málaga (15th) vs Espanyol (12th)
The transfer disaster of Shunsuke NakamuraâÂÂs move to Espanyol looks like being stuffed into a sack and tossed into a river weighed down with bricks, next week, with the midfielder reportedly pondering a move to Japanese outfit and former club, Yokohama Marinos.
âÂÂãÂÂã®度ãÂÂ横æµÂFãÂȋÂÂãªãÂÂã¹ã§ã¯ãÂÂæ ªå¼Âä¼Â社ãÂÂã¡ã¯ãÂÂãªã¼ã¸ã£ãÂÂã³ã°ã«ã¼ãÂÂã¨ãÂÂã¦ãÂÂãÂÂã©ã¼ã ã¹ãÂÂã³ãµã¼å¥Âç´ÂãÂÂãÂÂãÂÂã³ãÂÂãÂÂã¼ãÂÂãÂÂã¼ã·ãÂÂãÂÂæÂÂæºãÂÂãÂÂç· çµÂãÂÂãŸãÂÂã¾ãÂÂãŸã®ã§ãÂÂ知ãÂÂãÂÂãÂÂãŸãÂÂã¾ãÂÂãÂÂâ notes the J-League sideâÂÂs official website on what is probably a completely unrelated matter.
LLL Prediction - Home win
Athletic (7th) vs Tenerife (18th)
There was all manner of unmentionable mayhem at AthleticâÂÂs Europa League clash with Anderlecht at San Mamés.
The Thursday night encounter was hit by trouble before, during and after the game with fighting and general rowdiness from both sets of fans both in the stands and on the pitch (pictures here).
Whilst much of the blame for the Spanish press is dumped at the feet of beered-up hooligans from Belgium, one key image from the nastiness is a much published picture of an Athletic fan peeing onto the heads of Anderlecht supporters in the stands below.
âÂÂYou canâÂÂt hide the fact that a large part of the Anderlecht fans that came here did not know how to behave,â complained Athletic president Fernando GarcÃÂa Macua, who also criticised the poor security at the clash.
LLL Prediction - Home win
Osasuna (9th) vs Valladolid (19th)
Osasuna boss and Madridista man José Antonio Camacho is a master of the âÂÂalthough I will never be offered the role, IâÂÂd like to rule myself outâ tactic.
A wee while back, Camacho claimed that a return to the dugout at Santiago Bernabeu would never happen - probably as he would never be asked - and last week the coach said that he would only manage Barcelona if âÂÂmy children needed to eat.âÂÂ
This is ignoring the fact that if Camacho and some plankton were the only possible candidates to run the Camp Nou club due to some horrific global pandemic wiping out all managers, then a jar of green slime would be attempting to shout orders to Xavi and co for a season or two after the selection process.
LLL Prediction - Home win
Camacho - less popular than plankton
Zaragoza (17th) vs Sporting (13th)
This weekâÂÂs News from Sweden, courtesy of thelocal.se, is a cautionary tale of how the good times can very quickly turn bad with the female folk of this snowbound nation.
âÂÂAn 18-year-old woman in northern Sweden has been charged with harassment after taping pictures of her ex-boyfriend's private parts on lampposts near his home.
The scorned teen also scrawled her 24-year-old ex-boyfriend's name and phone number on the pictures, along with an unflattering comment about the size of his sex organ, Expressen reports.âÂÂ
LLL Prediction - Home win
AlmerÃÂa (16th) vs Atlético Madrid (11th)
Having spent one evening this week freezing its cojones off in the Vicente Calderón, La Liga Loca was not about to repeat the feat and boycotted Atlético MadridâÂÂs 1-1 draw against Galatasaray in the Europa League last of 292 clash (highlights here).
Instead, it opted for watching The Core, one of the most preposterous - but brilliant in its own special way - films ever made.
The Rojiblanco goal came at the boot of José Antonio Reyes who is very much loved by the Calderón fold after his assist for Diego Forlán in the 2-1 win over Barcelona.
And this is quite a turn around for the big MummyâÂÂs boy.
âÂÂItâÂÂs tough to hear fans shout âÂÂReyes, die!â noted the winger this week, recalling fondly to Marca how things were at the beginning of the season.
LLL Prediction - Home win
Real Madrid (2nd) vs Villarreal (10th)
FridayâÂÂs edition of Marca continues the paperâÂÂs - and by extension Florentino PérezâÂÂs - campaign to kick Manuel Pellegrini out of the Bernabeu.
And this is despite the fact that Madrid are just two points off Barcelona in La Liga and still in with a fairly decent shout of moving through to the next round of the Champions League, despite TuesdayâÂÂs 1-0 setback in Lyon.
Nevertheless, Marca are claiming that Pérez wants José Mourinho to take over in the summer, what with the mild-mannered Portuguese manager having the perfect profile at a club where he will have no control, be constantly undermined by his bosses, have players sold from under him and be surrounded by a media that will be be provoking him every minute of every day.
But it is Sport that brings us the really interesting news from Castle Greyskull: which member of the Madrid squad triumphed in the competition to have his wicked way with local sports presenter / goddess, Sara Carbonero?
And the winner of the lucky man who has allegedly managed to load his script onto SaraâÂÂs auto cue is Iker Casillas, with Sport noting that âÂÂneither deny a romance.âÂÂ
LLL Prediction - Away win
Monday
Valencia (3rd) vs Getafe (8th)
Winning the âÂÂbut why?â story of the week, itâÂÂs Getafe who have announced plans to build a new 25,000 capacity stadium when they canâÂÂt even fill their current 17,000 seated Coliseum home.
LLL Prediction - Home win
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