Soldado ‘has this fantastic slogan written on his vest’

Team-mate says striker has unseen genius, writes Paul Watson...

Tottenham defender Michael Dawson has revealed that Roberto Soldado has a hilarious yet poignant remark written on his undershirt that may never be seen by the viewing public.
 
Once one of La Liga’s most prolific strikers, Soldado has suffered a major dip in form since moving to White Hart Lane, leaving fans frustrated, pundits baffled and Soldado’s creative wordplay largely unappreciated.
 
Team-mates report that Soldado has scrawled more than 60 unused catchy slogans on undershirts during his goal-shy spell, only for each one to be erased in the wash.
 
“We all feel bad for Roberto, not just because of his inexorable, almost Dickensian decline, but because of the lyrical gems that are going to waste,” Dawson told FourFourTwo
 
“We’ll arrive on matchday and Roberto will be there crouched over his undershirt, pouring his heart out in marker pen. But we all know that nobody will ever see it.
 
“In fact, he’s got this incredible two-line masterpiece written on his vest right now. It’s really quite brilliant – the kind of thing that would change the way you look at the world and undershirts for good if you ever got to see it.”
 
Soldado is by no means the only footballer to use the undershirt as a means of self-expression. Brazilian star Kaka regularly unveils his ‘I belong to Jesus’ shirt after a goal, and Dimitar Berbatov famously exhorted team-mates to ‘keep calm and pass me the ball’.
 
After scoring against Wigan, Stoke’s Ryan Shawcross lifted his shirt to reveal the script for a pilot episode of a crime/romance drama called ‘Shawcrossed Lovers’, in which 20 strangers are brought together in dramatic fashion by their mutual love of Ryan Shawcross.
 
The drama was picked up by Channel 4 but received mixed reviews, which labelled the show, “industrious”, “laboured” and “Shawcross-heavy”.


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