18 signs you're that optimistic fool known as the England fan

We all remember those few good moments, and the bad ones... and a lot of very, very bad ones...

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1. Thinking that next time we go to penalties it simply HAS to be our turn to win.

2. Being so proud of Pyscho when he pumped that fist. "GET IN THAT F****** NET."

3. You long for another Michael Owen boy wonder moment. A breakthrough from a young English starlet, taking the international stage by storm.

4. Thinking back to that shot from Chris Waddle that hit the post in the 1990 World Cup semi-final against Germany and wondering what if.

5. And agonising over Gazza's stretched leg against Germany... He's going to make it... No.... Yes... Noooo...

6. Sometimes there's no room for anything but despondance. 'Very quickly, do you [Kevin Keegan] back him to score?' No. It's David Batty in the 1998 penalty shootout vs Argentina [2:42:20secs].

7. You wonder why Le Tissier wasn't capped more...

8. ...or old Big Ead wasn't given a crack at the top job.

9. While the word 'metatarsal' brings F.E.A.R. every two years just around April time...

10. But if only Seaman had kept out Ronaldinho's flukey lob...

11. You know that Joe Hart would never get beaten by Pirlo like that again.

12. While Maradona was just a cheat of the highest order.

13. You know that Koeman should have seen red in Rotterdam and England would have gone to USA 94. To then lose to Ireland.

14. But you'd sure buy Becks a pint... [2001]

15. ...but maybe not Diego Simeone... ...or winker Ronaldo...

16. But hey: you'll never forget 5-1 – and Emile Heskey scoring against Germany.

17. Or Lineker's goals or Gazza's tears. Or John Barnes rapping as well as he dribbles in a golazo in Brazil.

18. Or Butcher's red head, or Ince in Rome. Or Nobby dancing. Or Captain Marvel always being injured.

Good old England.

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