Roy Hodgson’s age and ability to relate to young footballers was a talking point when the 70-year-old was given the Crystal Palace job this season – which seems a little harsh.
After all, he may make the odd dated NASA joke which gets misunderstood – but Roy is fluent in one modern form of communication. The GIF! Croydon’s finest son has a terrific ability to say a lot using just his face and body language.
These are seven times we’ve all felt like Roy Hodgson.
1. It’s the hope that kills you
This is the Hodgfather watching Luis Suarez score the late winner which put England out of the 2014 World Cup. An incredulous half-smile builds at first as if he believes it might be prevented, but then Roy goes into the Slump of Kings as the ball crashes into the net. We’d like to believe he sat motionless in this pose for a full nine hours after the final whistle.
2. Refreshing your own face
Hodgson chose his ill-fated spell at Liverpool to break out his ever-popular impression of a cheese grater, with his face taking on the role of a big block of parmesan. It clearly worked a treat – after his vigorous rubbing, Roy looks fired up like he’s about to enter the octagon and whack a kimura on Brock Lesnar. Grrr.
3. Faking you know someone
We’ve definitely been here before. Someone walks past you and greets you like an old chum – and because, like Roy, you’re a good person, you reciprocate with all the friendly warmth you can muster. Then the moment they’ve passed, you set about trying to work out who the hell that person was. Total bewilderment.
4. Pure frustration
I suppose if we had to watch Denis Stracqualursi take a slow throw-in late into injury time against a football club we managed, we might have a similar reaction. Probably.
5. Skills to pay the bills
Slow down Roy - with freestyling like this, it’s a surprise they haven’t wheeled you out in front of the Camp Nou for an elaborate signing ceremony. As Hodgson has been in management since 1976, it’s not often we think of him as a player.
Apparently he was a defender for now-defunct football club Gravesend & Northfleet, where clearly he honed these incredible skills. Mesmerising - though we’re not sure the training top and white baseball cap combo will catch on.
6. Warm-up man
Short and sweet this one, but great intensity from the boss ahead of England’s European Championship clash with Slovakia. Game face on.
7. I’m thinking
Peak Roy. On the touchline with England 2-1 down to Iceland at Euro 2016, Hodgson appears to catch a glance of himself on the big screen, double takes, then does his very best ‘I’m thinking’ pose. Masterful.
Perhaps Roy really was dwelling on his next cunning plan (get Harry Kane on goal-kicks?), but it certainly looks like he’s just doing his best to appear as if he knows what he’s doing, when he really doesn’t have a clue what's going on. Which of us cannot relate to that?
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