England and penalty shootouts don't mix: that much we know.
The Three Lions have stepped up to contest 10 shootouts across their appearances at World Cups (4), Euros (5) and the Nations League (1), winning just three of them - and one of them was the Nations League one, and who cares about that.
So what are the lessons England can learn from their previous failures? Well, when it comes to where exactly they put the ball - quite an important part of the shootout - there's a few interesting nuggets to draw from.
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England's penalty shootout record at major tournaments by shot placement
The data was compiled by Bonuscodebets.co.uk, who, in rather self-aggrandising fashion, call it a 'study', as if they've pored over it all in white coats rather than just having watched them all back on YouTube with a pen and paper.
We have some issues with their methods, in truth. For some reason the scientists who compiled this 'study' have omitted the shots off target from their numbers for the success rate, with their PhD-level educations apparently rendering them unable to discern which general direction the ball had been kicked in unless it hit the net.
Pinch of salt duly taken, the numbers broke down as follows:
| Goal Segment | Shots Taken | Scored | Saved | Success Rate |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| Bottom Left | 12 | 10 | 2 | 83% |
| Bottom Right | 11 | 3 | 8 | 27% |
| Middle Right | 6 | 6 | 0 | 100% |
| Top Right | 5 | 5 | 0 | 100% |
| Top Left | 4 | 4 | 0 | 100% |
| Middle Left | 4 | 4 | 0 | 100% |
| Bottom Middle | 3 | 2 | 1 | 67% |
| Middle | 1 | 0 | 1 | 0% |
| Top Middle | 1 | 1 | 0 | 100% |
Does any of this have anything to do with what England's spot-kick takers are best doing should they face the dreaded walk to 12 yards out at Euro 2024 this summer? Absolutely not.
Nonetheless, print that table out and keep it in your wallet. We're sure your mates down the pub will be hanging on your every word when you loudly pronounce after the decisive missed kick that 'actually the unlucky penalty taker did the right thing by going with a shot placement with a six out of six historical success rate for England'.
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