La Liga Loca is planning a film of the last five months of Carles PuyolâÂÂs life. To do so, we will need a bit of money from FourFourTwoâÂÂs coffers, a lease on Brian MayâÂÂs hair and Bruce Willis under strict instructions to play the sort of beaten up, down-on-his-luck, tough cookie, Last Boy Scout character the American dined out on in the 90s after such a promising comic start with Moonlighting.
In this near half-year spell, the Barça defender has largely been responsible for the clubâÂÂs entire medical bill - the rest has been to pay for the endless requests from Sergi Busquets for plasters to help sooth his âÂÂhurtiesâÂÂ. In May, it was knee surgery. Soon after recovering from that at the start of the new season, Puyol managed to get his cheekbone dented in a dust-up against Osasuna. A fortnight later, the perm-haired hero landed badly in the Coliseum in a clash against Getafe and was expected to be out for six weeks thus missing SundayâÂÂs Clásico.
However, after what LLL likes to imagine was a quick nip of whisky and a wise-cracking drag on a cigarette, Puyol was back for BarcelonaâÂÂs Champions League clash against Benfica and lead a considerably more secure (and Song-less) back line alongside Javier Mascherano, just in time for SundayâÂÂs visit of Real Madrid, which would have been a little fraught without the teamâÂÂs fearless footballer to steady the ship.
But then Puyol hurled himself at the ball at a corner and landed heavily on his left arm to leave it looking horribly out of shape. With the kind of reaction of immense agony that Busquets and Cesc Fabregas display when a butterfly lands on their heads, Puyol was stretchered off and is set to be out for up to two months - or four or five days, perhaps - with what is thought to be a dislocated shoulder.
The vibe in the Catalan capital the morning after was âÂÂwhat a shameâ with a solid display ruined by more misery for Puyol. âÂÂSmiles and tears,â read WednesdayâÂÂs headline in Mundo Deportivo with a supportive Sport cheerfully yelling, âÂÂForza Puyol!âÂÂ
The positive news from the Benfica win, though - aside from a clean sheet - was goals for Cesc Fabregas and Alexis. The former had been grumbling about wanting to play more, while the latter recently admitted that he would only give himself (generously) five out of ten for the season.
However, a stubborn streak in Tito Vilanova meant that both players got the chance to continue to prove themselves. tâÂÂThe more debate there is over them, the more IâÂÂm going to play them,â advised the Barça boss, kicking off a cunning plan in Marca to blast headlines about Cristian Tello and Alex Song being the worst players ever to have set foot on a football pitch. Yet another cunning plan as SundayâÂÂs Clásico creeps ever closer, a match that will be missing BarcelonaâÂÂs battered and bruised battler.
