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  1. Features

16 of the funniest club badges in non-league football

By Paul Sarahs published 26 April 2018

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Funniest non-league badges

Funniest non-league badges

Football crests are often perfectly illustrative of the club and town they belong to, a representation of the history of the area replete with Latin motto. Others, though, seem to make no sense at all, and many leave us scratching our heads as to what they actually are, let alone what they represent.In these days of slick marketing and brand positioning, these badges have largely become a thing of the past. Apart from, that is, down in non-league, where confusing, ugly and downright bizarre football crests still exist in their dozens. We've picked out 16 of the funniest for your viewing pleasure.

Page 1 of 17
Page 1 of 17
Aylesbury Football Club

Aylesbury Football Club

Founded: 1930s

Division: Southern League Division One East

Stadium: Haywood Way

Nickname: The Moles

Aylesbury’s crest is both an ancient representation of the local area and also a bit weird. A swan chained by a crown is part of the town’s coat of arms and forms the flag of Buckinghamshire, going back to Anglo-Saxon times when the county was known for breeding swans for the king of England.

It's undoubtedly a great insight into the history of the area, but why they’re called the Moles and not the Swans is beyond us. There's even space for a Latin motto: Pro Bonus of Urbs translates as ‘For the good of the town’.

Page 2 of 17
Page 2 of 17
Basildon United Football Club

Basildon United Football Club

Founded: 1963

Division: Essex Senior League

Stadium: The Ho Ho Stadium

Nickname: The Bees

United have had a terrific season in the Essex Senior League Premier Division and are currently third in the table behind only Great Wakering Rovers FC and FC Romania.

As for the badge? We have absolutely no idea whatsoever. We’re not even sure what it is, which is a real shame when you consider what could have been.The flag of Essex is three Saxon seaxes, a kind of cutlass, and the county name comes from the sixth century kingdom of the East Saxons.

Page 3 of 17
Page 3 of 17
Beaconsfield Town Football Club

Beaconsfield Town Football Club

Founded: 1994

Division: Southern League Division One East

Stadium: Holloways Park

Nickname: The Rams

It’s been a cracking season for the Rams, who currently sit two points behind league leaders Rushden and Diamonds in their bid to seal promotion to England’s seventh tier. They may only be little more than 20 years old but they’ve already had a rebrand, which saw them adopt a rather swish looking badge – which is just as well really, because the old one, incorporating the old SYCOB (Slough Youth Centre Old Boys) was awful.

This incarnation of Beaconsfield’s football team was founded as recently as 2017 but has roots in the town going back to before 1921. Grenadian striker Bradley Bubb used to play for the Rams, as did former Anguillan internationals Roy and Jermaine Gumbs and Rob Paris.

Page 4 of 17
Page 4 of 17
Berkhamstead FC

Berkhamstead FC

Founded: 2009

Division: Spartan South Midlands League Premier Division

Stadium: Broadwater

Nickname: The Comrades

The Comrades were founded in 2009 after Berkhamsted Town folded, taking their name from their predecessors - who were originally known as Berkhamsted Comrades. Their badge is a particularly interesting one, with characteristics more in keeping with an old Soviet propaganda poster than an English football crest, but we like it all the more for it.

It’s been a great season for Berko, with the Comrades sat firmly in second place in the Spartan South Midlands Football League having lost just three league games all season. They’re in with a real chance of promotion to Level 8 of the English football hierarchy.

Page 5 of 17
Page 5 of 17
Coalville Town FC

Coalville Town FC

Founded: 1926

Division: Northern Premier League Premier Division

Stadium: Owen Street Sports Ground

Nickname: The Ravens

The Ravens were founded back in 1926 as Ravenstone Miners Athletic – hence the nickname – and only moved to Coalville when the parish council refused permission to install floodlights at Ravenslea. Ravenstone’s loss was very much Coalville’s gain, as the club went on to become Midland Alliance champions in 2011 and lifted the Westerby Cup in 2013.

Those former glories feel very distant this season now, though, with Coalville Town having struggled in the Northern Premier League this season. At least they've got this wonderful badge - replete with extra large raven and generic football - to fall back on.

Page 6 of 17
Page 6 of 17
Cockfosters FC

Cockfosters FC

Founded: 1921

Division: Spartan South Midlands League Premier Division

Stadium: Chalk Lane

Nickname: Fosters

The name Cockfosters dates back as far as the 16th century and is thought to be either the name of a family or a house on Enfield Chase. The team are nowhere near as old but still have plenty of heritage, having been founded back in 1921 as Cockfosters Athletic of the Barnet League.

These days ‘Fosters’ – I’m sure we can all agree, choosing that half of their moniker as a nickname was a sage move indeed – play their football in the Spartan South Midlands League, even if their badge makes it seem like they were inspired by university IMG teams.

Page 7 of 17
Page 7 of 17
Dunkirk FC

Dunkirk FC

Founded: 1946

Division: East Midlands Counties League

Stadium: Ron Steel Sports Ground

Nickname: The Boatmen

There’s no shortage of non-league clubs flagrantly passing themselves off as someone more successful, only changing the name on the badge. We won’t name and shame them here.

But, Dunkirk, designing this, calling yourself the Boatmen and taking credit for military history’s most heroic evacuation when you’re a residential area in landlocked Nottingham is beyond the pale, really. It hasn't harmed their prospects in the East Midlands Counties League, though: Dunkirk currently top the table.

Page 8 of 17
Page 8 of 17
Fakenham Town FC

Fakenham Town FC

Founded: 1884

Division: Eastern Counties League

Stadium: Clipbush Park

Nickname: The Ghosts

It takes guts to make a football club crest that doubles up as a Rorschach test, but Fakenham aren’t fakers. FourFourTwo is pretty convinced this is a humanised tongue decapitating itself with a rolling pin that has been sharpened at one end. Or it could be a butterfly.

Fakenham were founded way back in 1884, the same year as Stenhousemuir, Derby County and Leicester City. Former Milan and England striker Luther Blissett played for the Ghosts towards the end of his career, as did fellow Three Lions international Mark Barham.

Page 9 of 17
Page 9 of 17
Harrogate Railway Athletic Football Club

Harrogate Railway Athletic Football Club

Founded: 1935

Division: Northern Counties East League

Stadium: Station View

Nickname: The Rail, The Locomotives

Harrogate Railway Athletic Football Club have a beaver on their badge, apparently representative of all those who’ve worked so hard down the years on the railways. Whether true or not, what we’re left with is a special football badge.

The Latin motto is truly something to behold: Nil Mortalibus Ardui Est translates as Nothing Is Impossible For Humankind, a direct quote from Roman poet Horace’s Odes. Sadly for the Rail, it seems that retaining their position in the Northern Counties East Football League this season is beyond them, with the club teetering on the edge of the relegation zone.

Page 10 of 17
Page 10 of 17
Holbeach United FC

Holbeach United FC

Founded: 1929

Division: United Counties League Premier Division

Stadium: Carters Park

Nickname: The Tigers

The Tigers play their football in the United Counties League and are involved in a tight promotion race alongside Yaxley, Wisbech Town and Newport Pagnell Town. They’re used to success in recent times at Carter’s Park – 2013 was a vintage year, with the Tigers lifting United Counties League Premier Division Title and Lincolnshire Senior Cup double.

There's no attempt to disguise the club's nickname in these parts - although if you look closely enough, Holbeach's tiger looks a little alarmed. Perhaps he's just seen the team's striker spoon a shot over the bar from a yard.

Page 11 of 17
Page 11 of 17
Horley Town FC

Horley Town FC

Founded: 1896

Division: Combined Counties League Premier Division

Stadium: The New Defence

Nickname: The Clarets

There’s an awful lot to like about Horley: they play in claret and blue, they have real heritage having been founded way back in 1896 and they play their football at The New Defence, which sounds much more like a New Wave band than a football stadium.

Sadly, their badge isn’t one of those things – it’s just plain weird. Seamlessly merging an H, a T, an F and a C into one shape without it being a confusing amorphous blob was always an ambitious objective.

Page 12 of 17
Page 12 of 17
Kirby Muxloe FC

Kirby Muxloe FC

Founded: 1910

Division: United Counties League Premier Division

Stadium: Ratby Lane

Nickname: The Kirby

Kirby’s badge features the local castle, built during the reign of Edward IV, the first Yorkist Monarch and winner of the Wars of the Roses. It was built by one of the king’s staunchest supporters and allies, Lord Hastings, who had profited considerably during the 30-odd years of war between the Houses of York and Lancaster. Anyway, we digress.

Kirby Muxloe Football Club were founded in 1910 and play their football United Counties League Premier division, where they can be found in 12th position with a respectable 54 points from their 38 matches.

Page 13 of 17
Page 13 of 17
Pickering Town FC

Pickering Town FC

Founded: 1888

Division: Northern Counties East League Premier Division

Stadium: Mill Lane

Nickname: The Pikes

There’s an awful lot going on with Pickering Town’s badge. A couple of pikes jumping through the ring of King Peredurus from Geoffrey of Monmouth’s pseudohistorical chronicle Historia Regnum Britanniae, in front of a representation of the town’s 11th century motte-and-bailey castle built under the reign of William the Conquerer. Still with us? Good.

Pickering haven’t quite been around that long but were founded in 1888 and are enjoying a stellar season in the Northern Counties East Football League Premier Division, sitting third in the table with games in hand on most of the teams around then.

Page 14 of 17
Page 14 of 17
Romulus FC

Romulus FC

Founded: 1979

Division: Northern Premier League Division One South

Stadium: The Central Ground

Nickname: The Roms

Romulus are in trouble: they're currently second-bottom of the Northern Premier League Division One South with only Market Drayton Town beneath them in the table. The risk of relegation to the ninth tier of the English football hierarchy is real and would be a rare backwards step for a team founded as a Sunday League side back in 1979.

Anyway, on to the badge. Google Translate tells us the Latin motto beneath Romulus' mildly annoyed centurion means ‘I am quite certain’, which happens to be the same phrase uttered by the club's director when the artist asked: “Are you sure this is what you want?”

Page 15 of 17
Page 15 of 17
West Auckland Town FC

West Auckland Town FC

Founded: 1893

Division: Northern League Division One

Stadium: The Wanted Metal Stadium

Nickname: West

Northern League Division One side West Auckland have an incredibly rich history. Way back in 1909 and 1911, they were involved in the Sir Thomas Lipton Trophy, one of the first international football tournaments.

Their nickname – ‘West’ – may lack flair, but the badge doesn’t. They’re so proud of winning the Sir Thomas Lipton Trophy that they drew a facsimile of the prize, nicked two gold stars from a primary school and gave the cup’s name prominence over the actual team.

Page 16 of 17
Page 16 of 17
Westfields FC

Westfields FC

Founded: 1966

Division: Midlands League Premier Division

Stadium: All Pay Park

Nickname: The Fields

Midlands League Premier Division side Westfields were founded in the autumn of 1966, taking West Ham’s colours as their own following England’s World Cup triumph with Bobby Moore, Martin Peters and Sir Geoff Hurst in the team.

They currently occupy 10th place in the table with the season drawing to its conclusion, and are the owners of quite possibly the most boring badge we’ve ever seen - almost as if they took inspiration from the Pro Evo version of West Ham rather than the Hammers themselves.

Page 17 of 17
Page 17 of 17
Paul Sarahs
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