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Funniest non-league badges
Football crests are often perfectly illustrative of the club and town they belong to, a representation of the history of the area replete with Latin motto. Others, though, seem to make no sense at all, and many leave us scratching our heads as to what they actually are, let alone what they represent.In these days of slick marketing and brand positioning, these badges have largely become a thing of the past. Apart from, that is, down in non-league, where confusing, ugly and downright bizarre football crests still exist in their dozens. We've picked out 16 of the funniest for your viewing pleasure.
Aylesbury Football Club
Founded: 1930s
Stadium: Haywood Way
Nickname: The Moles
Aylesbury’s crest is both an ancient representation of the local area and also a bit weird. A swan chained by a crown is part of the town’s coat of arms and forms the flag of Buckinghamshire, going back to Anglo-Saxon times when the county was known for breeding swans for the king of England.
It's undoubtedly a great insight into the history of the area, but why they’re called the Moles and not the Swans is beyond us. There's even space for a Latin motto: Pro Bonus of Urbs translates as ‘For the good of the town’.
Basildon United Football Club
Founded: 1963
Stadium: The Ho Ho Stadium
Nickname: The Bees
United have had a terrific season in the Essex Senior League Premier Division and are currently third in the table behind only Great Wakering Rovers FC and FC Romania.
As for the badge? We have absolutely no idea whatsoever. We’re not even sure what it is, which is a real shame when you consider what could have been.The flag of Essex is three Saxon seaxes, a kind of cutlass, and the county name comes from the sixth century kingdom of the East Saxons.
Beaconsfield Town Football Club
Founded: 1994
Stadium: Holloways Park
Nickname: The Rams
It’s been a cracking season for the Rams, who currently sit two points behind league leaders Rushden and Diamonds in their bid to seal promotion to England’s seventh tier. They may only be little more than 20 years old but they’ve already had a rebrand, which saw them adopt a rather swish looking badge – which is just as well really, because the old one, incorporating the old SYCOB (Slough Youth Centre Old Boys) was awful.
This incarnation of Beaconsfield’s football team was founded as recently as 2017 but has roots in the town going back to before 1921. Grenadian striker Bradley Bubb used to play for the Rams, as did former Anguillan internationals Roy and Jermaine Gumbs and Rob Paris.
Berkhamstead FC
Founded: 2009
Stadium: Broadwater
Nickname: The Comrades
The Comrades were founded in 2009 after Berkhamsted Town folded, taking their name from their predecessors - who were originally known as Berkhamsted Comrades. Their badge is a particularly interesting one, with characteristics more in keeping with an old Soviet propaganda poster than an English football crest, but we like it all the more for it.
It’s been a great season for Berko, with the Comrades sat firmly in second place in the Spartan South Midlands Football League having lost just three league games all season. They’re in with a real chance of promotion to Level 8 of the English football hierarchy.
Coalville Town FC
Founded: 1926
Stadium: Owen Street Sports Ground
Nickname: The Ravens
The Ravens were founded back in 1926 as Ravenstone Miners Athletic – hence the nickname – and only moved to Coalville when the parish council refused permission to install floodlights at Ravenslea. Ravenstone’s loss was very much Coalville’s gain, as the club went on to become Midland Alliance champions in 2011 and lifted the Westerby Cup in 2013.
Those former glories feel very distant this season now, though, with Coalville Town having struggled in the Northern Premier League this season. At least they've got this wonderful badge - replete with extra large raven and generic football - to fall back on.
Cockfosters FC
Founded: 1921
Stadium: Chalk Lane
Nickname: Fosters
The name Cockfosters dates back as far as the 16th century and is thought to be either the name of a family or a house on Enfield Chase. The team are nowhere near as old but still have plenty of heritage, having been founded back in 1921 as Cockfosters Athletic of the Barnet League.
These days ‘Fosters’ – I’m sure we can all agree, choosing that half of their moniker as a nickname was a sage move indeed – play their football in the Spartan South Midlands League, even if their badge makes it seem like they were inspired by university IMG teams.
Dunkirk FC
Founded: 1946
Stadium: Ron Steel Sports Ground
Nickname: The Boatmen
There’s no shortage of non-league clubs flagrantly passing themselves off as someone more successful, only changing the name on the badge. We won’t name and shame them here.
But, Dunkirk, designing this, calling yourself the Boatmen and taking credit for military history’s most heroic evacuation when you’re a residential area in landlocked Nottingham is beyond the pale, really. It hasn't harmed their prospects in the East Midlands Counties League, though: Dunkirk currently top the table.
Fakenham Town FC
Founded: 1884
Stadium: Clipbush Park
Nickname: The Ghosts
It takes guts to make a football club crest that doubles up as a Rorschach test, but Fakenham aren’t fakers. FourFourTwo is pretty convinced this is a humanised tongue decapitating itself with a rolling pin that has been sharpened at one end. Or it could be a butterfly.
Fakenham were founded way back in 1884, the same year as Stenhousemuir, Derby County and Leicester City. Former Milan and England striker Luther Blissett played for the Ghosts towards the end of his career, as did fellow Three Lions international Mark Barham.
Harrogate Railway Athletic Football Club
Founded: 1935
Stadium: Station View
Nickname: The Rail, The Locomotives
Harrogate Railway Athletic Football Club have a beaver on their badge, apparently representative of all those who’ve worked so hard down the years on the railways. Whether true or not, what we’re left with is a special football badge.
The Latin motto is truly something to behold: Nil Mortalibus Ardui Est translates as Nothing Is Impossible For Humankind, a direct quote from Roman poet Horace’s Odes. Sadly for the Rail, it seems that retaining their position in the Northern Counties East Football League this season is beyond them, with the club teetering on the edge of the relegation zone.
Holbeach United FC
Founded: 1929
Stadium: Carters Park
Nickname: The Tigers
The Tigers play their football in the United Counties League and are involved in a tight promotion race alongside Yaxley, Wisbech Town and Newport Pagnell Town. They’re used to success in recent times at Carter’s Park – 2013 was a vintage year, with the Tigers lifting United Counties League Premier Division Title and Lincolnshire Senior Cup double.
There's no attempt to disguise the club's nickname in these parts - although if you look closely enough, Holbeach's tiger looks a little alarmed. Perhaps he's just seen the team's striker spoon a shot over the bar from a yard.
Horley Town FC
Founded: 1896
Stadium: The New Defence
Nickname: The Clarets
There’s an awful lot to like about Horley: they play in claret and blue, they have real heritage having been founded way back in 1896 and they play their football at The New Defence, which sounds much more like a New Wave band than a football stadium.
Sadly, their badge isn’t one of those things – it’s just plain weird. Seamlessly merging an H, a T, an F and a C into one shape without it being a confusing amorphous blob was always an ambitious objective.
Kirby Muxloe FC
Founded: 1910
Stadium: Ratby Lane
Nickname: The Kirby
Kirby’s badge features the local castle, built during the reign of Edward IV, the first Yorkist Monarch and winner of the Wars of the Roses. It was built by one of the king’s staunchest supporters and allies, Lord Hastings, who had profited considerably during the 30-odd years of war between the Houses of York and Lancaster. Anyway, we digress.
Kirby Muxloe Football Club were founded in 1910 and play their football United Counties League Premier division, where they can be found in 12th position with a respectable 54 points from their 38 matches.
Pickering Town FC
Founded: 1888
Stadium: Mill Lane
Nickname: The Pikes
There’s an awful lot going on with Pickering Town’s badge. A couple of pikes jumping through the ring of King Peredurus from Geoffrey of Monmouth’s pseudohistorical chronicle Historia Regnum Britanniae, in front of a representation of the town’s 11th century motte-and-bailey castle built under the reign of William the Conquerer. Still with us? Good.
Pickering haven’t quite been around that long but were founded in 1888 and are enjoying a stellar season in the Northern Counties East Football League Premier Division, sitting third in the table with games in hand on most of the teams around then.
Romulus FC
Founded: 1979
Stadium: The Central Ground
Nickname: The Roms
Romulus are in trouble: they're currently second-bottom of the Northern Premier League Division One South with only Market Drayton Town beneath them in the table. The risk of relegation to the ninth tier of the English football hierarchy is real and would be a rare backwards step for a team founded as a Sunday League side back in 1979.
Anyway, on to the badge. Google Translate tells us the Latin motto beneath Romulus' mildly annoyed centurion means ‘I am quite certain’, which happens to be the same phrase uttered by the club's director when the artist asked: “Are you sure this is what you want?”
West Auckland Town FC
Founded: 1893
Stadium: The Wanted Metal Stadium
Nickname: West
Northern League Division One side West Auckland have an incredibly rich history. Way back in 1909 and 1911, they were involved in the Sir Thomas Lipton Trophy, one of the first international football tournaments.
Their nickname – ‘West’ – may lack flair, but the badge doesn’t. They’re so proud of winning the Sir Thomas Lipton Trophy that they drew a facsimile of the prize, nicked two gold stars from a primary school and gave the cup’s name prominence over the actual team.
Westfields FC
Founded: 1966
Stadium: All Pay Park
Nickname: The Fields
Midlands League Premier Division side Westfields were founded in the autumn of 1966, taking West Ham’s colours as their own following England’s World Cup triumph with Bobby Moore, Martin Peters and Sir Geoff Hurst in the team.
They currently occupy 10th place in the table with the season drawing to its conclusion, and are the owners of quite possibly the most boring badge we’ve ever seen - almost as if they took inspiration from the Pro Evo version of West Ham rather than the Hammers themselves.
