The 16 most hilarious football club names from around the world
In case you missed it, a new club is being launched in the US named San Diego 1904. Nobody is sure if it's an Anchorman reference or a contrived alphanumeric code, but it’s definitely a pretty laughable name for a football club that starts life in 2018.
And yet it still has some way to catch up to this lot...
Insurance Management Bears, Bahamas
Bears are a great animal to evoke when you’re trying to suggest power and prowess in a sporting arena, but they’re less suited to the field of insurance management – they’re not a level-headed beast, frankly, and their paws would crunch the calculator.
Nevertheless, a tedious firm in Nassau have taken ownership of a team on the holiday island, and opted for the grizzly as their icon. We will leave our insurance management affairs in the hands of a nice middle-aged Irish lady called Margaret though, thanks.
Portman Kunis United, USA
FourFourTwo’s favourite film about mentally troubled ballerinas is definitely Black Swan – it’s a kind of Ballon d’Or in tutus. Luckily for us, the box office-smasher has also found fans in Division 11 of the Dallas Indoor Soccer League, where a side has been named after co-stars Natalie and Mila. There’s a lot to be learned from their nifty footwork, lads.
Eleven Men In Flight, Swaziland
They have a badge with a jet on and the club motto is ‘Easy By Night'
Swaziland’s football’s top flight – the Swazi Premier League – is awash with delightfully odd football team names: Green Mamba, Royal Leopards, Mhlumi Peacemakers, Young Buffaloes, Mhlambanyatsi Rovers – while further down the tiers you’ll find Never Die, Russian Bombers, and, er, Manchester United.
Eleven Men In Flight, however, get top prize: they have a badge with a jet on and the club motto is ‘Easy By Night’. Who fancies getting the red-eye to Sikteki to see them face the Umbelebele Jomo Cosmos?!
4.25 Sports Team, North Korea
The North Korean People’s Army will soon be swarming towards Seoul as part of Supreme Leader, Rocket Man, highly amusing Donald Trump-baiter and Eric Clapton megafan Kim Jong-un’s plan to reunify the Korean peninsula.
His wild scheme will almost certainly result in a nuclear apocalypse and the deaths of millions, but at least it’ll be good marketing for the April 25 Sports Team, who are named after the date of the NK military’s founding, and remain its official club. How’d you like that, dotard?
Taumata FC, New Zealand
Taumatawhakatangihangakoauauotamateaturipukakapikimaungahoronukupokaiwhenuakitanatahu – I’m the Scatman!
The only realistic rival to North Wales side Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch
Named after a hill in New Zealand, this 40-syllable disgrace of a town name translates enjoyably as: “The summit where Tamatea, the man with the big knees, the slider, climber of mountains, the land-swallower, who travelled about, played his nose flute to his loved one.”
The big knee-having climber of mountains, mother of dragons, breaker of chains, taker of throw-ins is also a keen supporter of a bang average football team, who are the only realistic rival to North Wales side Llanfairpwllgwyngyllgogerychwyrndrobwllllantysiliogogogoch when it comes to being awkward for fans to chant the “by far the greatest team, the world has ever seen” song.
FL Fart, Norway
The international language of trumping being amusing extends as far to Vang, Norway, where a non-league side have a badge of a whoopee cushion and a stadium called the Fartbana. The side was once left over £300,000 in a windfall from a fan, leading to the Mirror headline “FART WINDFALL”. The LOLs must never end…