Premier sketch: Freaks, bikes and jokers
WeÃ¢ÂÂre seeing an extraordinary amount of freak goals this season, and I donÃ¢ÂÂt mean Peter Crouch is in top formÃ¢ÂÂ¦
Last week ChelseaÃ¢ÂÂs Salomon Kalou benefited from a wicked deflection, and this week it was Cesc Fabregas at the Stadium of Light. SunderlandÃ¢ÂÂs Anton Ferdinand, trying to emulate his brother, dwelled on the ball for way too long before deciding to punt it upfield.
Unfortunately for the Black Cats defender, the ball ricocheted off the ankle of the onrushing Cesc Fabregas and flew all of 40 yard into the net. Minutes later, the GunnersÃ¢ÂÂ playmaker left the game having injured himself while scoring.
ItÃ¢ÂÂs unknown whether Arsenal manager Arsene Wenger will be spending the week trying to convince the F.A. that opposition players are now kicking the ball much too hard against his poor little players, but just to rub it in, Wenger had to watch his side give up a late Darren Bent equalizer in the fifth of four added minutes.
People complain there are no longer any characters in the game, and that itÃ¢ÂÂs all a bit too serious; where have all the jokers gone? Well relax, weÃ¢ÂÂve finally found one. This week the Blackburn Rovers pressroom was converted into a comedy club and a new comedian, Big Sam emerged.
"I'm not suited to Bolton or Blackburn, I would be more suited to Inter Milan or Real MadridÃ¢ÂÂ said Sam with a straight face as giggles eminated from the back of the packed room. Giggles turned to raucous laughter as Sam followed it up with this hilarious one liner, Ã¢ÂÂIt wouldn't be a problem to me to go and manage those clubs because I would win the double or the league every time. Ã¢ÂÂ
Big Sam now had the crowd eating out of his hand and he hit them with his final rib-tickler, Ã¢ÂÂGive me Manchester United or Chelsea and I would do the same, it wouldn't be a problem, thanks very much youÃ¢ÂÂve been a great audience.Ã¢ÂÂ
No one was laughing at Goodison Park however; it must be tough being an Everton fan, one week your team doggedly claws back a two goal deficit against Manchester United, then roll over at home to newly promoted Newcastle the next.
If itÃ¢ÂÂs any consolation, they may have witnessed the emergence of a real talent in NewcastleÃ¢ÂÂs Hatem Ben Arfa. The cockney sounding Frenchman scored a wonder goal on his full Newcastle debut and dazzled the Goodison crowd with some sublime skill.
Ben ArfaÃ¢ÂÂs left foot has already been labelled Ã¢ÂÂculturedÃ¢ÂÂ by the football community; does anyone out there know of anyone with a cultured right foot? Why is it that right feet donÃ¢ÂÂt get the same credit? Apparently Even Zidane didnÃ¢ÂÂt have one!
The big game of the weekend was at rainy Old Trafford, and saw Manchester UnitedÃ¢ÂÂs Dimitar Berbatov stealing the show from two goal Steven Gerrard with a hat trick.
Berbatov is in fantastic form right now and if it continues then thereÃ¢ÂÂs every chance heÃ¢ÂÂll actually manage to contribute more goals to UnitedÃ¢ÂÂs cause than the their opponents.
His second goal was a real goal of the season contender; after controlling the ball with his back to goal he then pulled off a Ã¢ÂÂbicycle kickÃ¢ÂÂ leaving Pepe Reina rooted to the spot. Berbatov then wheeled away after giving United a 2-0 lead.
However, some less than sturdy defending by the home side saw them give away a two goal lead for the second game in a row. John OÃ¢ÂÂShea can count himself a tad lucky after only receiving a yellow card when denying Fernando Torres a goal scoring opportunity, and Liverpool fans will argue that it was OÃ¢ÂÂShea who crossed the ball onto BerbatovÃ¢ÂÂs head for the winner five minutes later, but as David BeckhamÃ¢ÂÂs favourite quote goes,Ã¢ÂÂ Erm thatÃ¢ÂÂs football, sorry I mean soccer.Ã¢ÂÂ
And finally hereÃ¢ÂÂs some more good news for Manchester United fans, it seems that Portugeese winger Nani has made a miraculous recovery from what looked like about 10 different life threatening injuries following a moderately tough challenge from LiverpoolÃ¢ÂÂs Christian PoulsenÃ¢ÂÂ¦