England vs Japan match ratings and alternative commentary

Hello all and welcome along – it's England vs Japan in the final friendly before Thomas Tuchel names his World Cup 2026 squad.

Over the course of the next couple of hours, we're going to be Simon Cowelling the hell out of Tuchel's team (it's a term, really), as we get closer to the final 26 or however many Gianni Infantino decides to allow in North America this summer.

Have your say, too: we want you to vote for YOUR ratings. Of course, we're all going to be completely aligned and agreed by the end, right?

Without further ado, your England XI for tonight is as follows…

Injuries aside, this is actually how we expect England to line up for their first fixture at the World Cup against Croatia this summer.

Ben White is in there for Reece James, Kobbie Mainoo is starting instead of Declan Rice, and we assume that Bukayo Saka will be back for the World Cup in place of Cole Palmer – while naturally, the big news is that Harry Kane is not starting up front – you can take the boy out of the Arsenal academy (just a joke, honest). While Friday night's draw with Uruguay saw some experimentation, this line-up has nothing of the sort. Apart from in one position…

It's interesting that Anthony Gordon is stepping in up front. Or is he? Phil Foden might be a false nine, here. It'll be intriguing to see, nonetheless.

There are five players keener than most to impress

Tuchel has some major decisions to make but not all of them are set in stone – and there remains a handful of hopefuls vying for a spot in the German's final squad.

James Roberts has summarised the five remaining players who will want to use this last opportunity to earn a place in the XI against Croatia.

You have almost 10 minutes before kick-off – so spend it right.

Following Ben White's goal last week, can you name every player to have scored just ONE goal for the Three Lions since 2000?

New England kit getting its debut!

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Stunnin’

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We're underway. Let's go!

Looks like Foden/Rogers up front for England.

A mixed start for England: confident in possession, Nico O'Reilly bringing the ball out from the back, but Japan are looking to win the ball high up the pitch and there's already been one mix-up between Pickford and Guehi. Good to iron these things out now, lads…

Foden wins a free-kick.

First chance for a set-piece (ole, ole).

Ben White getting to the byline for a cross, wins England's first corner – and then all hell breaks loose.

Two or three Lions have a shot with Japan throwing themselves in for blocks. More like it.

Czech Republic are 1-0 up on Denmark.

First blood in the qualifiers – as it stands, Soucek and the lads are heading to North America.

Ben White is an intriguing prospect for a full-back to take to the World Cup, when you think about it.

Can overlap, as he's shown already. Can build play in a back three, as he does with Arsenal. Has an existing relationship with Bukayo Saka. Can invert, too, if Tuchel wants to try any of that woke nonsense.

And as evidenced by his nonchalance on Friday night after #BooGate, he's not going to be overawed by any kind of pressure. Welcome, The New David Batty.

Marcelo Bielsa comes to Wembley on Friday night – a few days later, Tuchel is sat on the drinks box. Is there no one El Loco has influenced?

1-0 Japan. Oops.

Mitoma with the finish.

Palmer dispossessed, Konsa doesn't close it down. It's not great defending – and now we've got a drinks break for TT to lay into his players. We go again.

Anderson rattles the bar.

England have looked considerably more impressive since the water break, zipping the ball with a bit more pace. Elliot Anderson so very nearly had his first international goal, too, with Zion Suzuki getting a fingertip on the ball via the woodwork and out for a corner.

And the woodwork's hit again – this time by Ayase Ueda.

Looked like offside but Japan have a corner. England's high line foiled.

Half-time: 1-0 Japan.

No one's really putting in a strong case to be in Tuchel's first XI, here.

Here's a quiz to keep you going till the second half: can you name these 100 badges?

Some scores from around Europe…

Bosnia & Herzegovina 0-1 Italy
Sweden 2-1 Poland
Kosovo 0-0 Turkey
Czech Republic 1-0 Denmark

Aaaaand we're back for the second half.

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Update: Japan are decent.

The Samurai Blue have been the more lively in the second half with England looking to calm things down. Tuchel may well switch things up sooner rather than later (he needs to).

Four subs coming on for England.

Jarrod Bowen, Tino Livramento, Dominic Solanke and Lewis Hall all warming up.

Poland have equalised against Sweden. 2-2.

Keito Nakamura perilously close for the Japanese – and now we have another drinks break.

Two more subs.

Garner and Rashford on, Mainoo and Gordon off.

Elliot Anderson goes down in the box… no penalty.

Corner to England, though.

Rashford, then Bowen with a chance each. England keep the pressure on.

Maguire and Burn on, Konsa and Guehi off.

We're not going to give them ratings as they have less than 10 minutes to make an impact.

And it's over: England 0-1 Japan.

Not a great night, all in all. England were pretty poor and after a 100 per cent record in qualification, finish the March international break with a draw and a loss.

You can see more from our match ratings here.

That just about wraps things up.

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