The ‘Guti don’t leave me!’ Weekend Predictions - Round 31

Features
By published

Saturday

Málaga (16th) v Sevilla (4th)

The rest of world may not give two flying hoots about this weekendâÂÂs fixtures aside from The One, but LLL certainly does.

Apart from the Deportivo game. And maybe the Xerez clash. And, come to think of it, Athletic against Almería doesnâÂÂt exactly get the footballing juices flowing, either.

The current names being blown into the air to replace him like Ever BanegaâÂÂs baby batter are MallorcaâÂÂs Gregorio Manzano, GetafeâÂÂs Míchel, AtléticoâÂÂs Quique and most sensationally of all, Laurent Blanc. ThatâÂÂs what Sevilla sporting director, Monchi, claims anyway.

âÂÂI called his agent and he told me himself that Blanc was fixed-up, thereâÂÂs nothing doing,â revealed Monchi, saying that the Frenchman would either be staying with Bordeaux or moving into the France national team role.


If you can't trust a man in a baseball cap to save your club then who can you?

âÂÂI took the job as no-one else has called me and being a football manager is my profession.âÂÂ

âÂÂI was bored of being unemployed,â added Javier, who noted that SaturdayâÂÂs relegation rumble against Tenerife was vital as a defeat would mean that âÂÂour league could be over in 90 minutes.âÂÂ

ItâÂÂs been a wee while since LLL dropped in on VillarrealâÂÂs fun-filled website to peer into whatâÂÂs really going on at the yellow-bellied side.

Previous trips have brought rewarding news of car-parking expansions and Joseba LlorenteâÂÂs favourite breed of pigeon, so it was with a sense of stirring anticipation that the blog clicked on the magic link.

And it was not to be disappointed, on Friday morning, when it saw the thrilling news that the clubâÂÂs magazine is about to publish its latest edition with the headline of âÂÂCani - My Shoebox Hell!â and a riveting video showing Villarreal fans sitting in the sun, eating bird seed and not doing that much really.

Nevertheless, itâÂÂs still about ten times more thrilling than LLL will ever be.

âÂÂIâÂÂve not given up on Europe, yetâ hollered Getafe manager, Míchel, after SundayâÂÂs shameful 1-1 draw with Espanyol at the Coliseum.

âÂÂWhatever happens we are going to have a great season,â claimed Getafe, Míchel, four days later perhaps coming to his senses over the half-arsed ambitions of his players.

LLL Prediction  - Home win

Starting at midnight on Friday, âÂÂPunto Pelotaâ - a chat show ruled over by pompous blowhards - will be running a 22 hour, non-stop, rant-a-thon on el Clásico.

ThatâÂÂs right, nearly a whole day of âÂÂMadrid will win! No Barça will win! No Madrid will win!â Or perhaps regurgitations of some of the nonsense that has appeared in all of SpainâÂÂs sports dailies, this week, the worst of which was spouted by Marca which reported that Madrid will be victorious in the clash because they have scored 2.5 goals a game, compared to BarcelonaâÂÂs measly 2.2

And as for GutiâÂÂs announcement that he is on the brink of leaving la Liga - the blog is still too shocked to respond.


Guti has said he may be leaving The Berna...wait a second

ItâÂÂs good news all round in the blogâÂÂs rather pathetic, easily-pleased world with Deportivo - to football what Maniche is to Spandex  - going through their worst run in 19 years after four defeats in a row.

Funnily enough, itâÂÂs a run which just so happened to begin when the players reached the 42 points barrier, the finishing line of survival in la Liga, as it were.

Athletic (6th) v Almería (11th)

Regular readers may sometimes wonder why the blogâÂÂs daily ramblings can take a little longer than normal to be posted to the worldâÂÂs finest football site (or any site come to think of it).

âÂÂA 52-year-old rail worker reprimanded two years ago for visiting p**nographic websites at work has escaped with just a second warning despite repeatedly causing trains to be delayed in eastern Sweden.

The Swedish Rail Administration's (Banverket) disciplinary board issued the follow-up warning in March after the signal operator's litany of workplace transgressions led to numerous delays at Gävle station.

In the two-year period since his p*** habits led the administration's local computer network to become infected with viruses, the 52-year-old has routinely been summoned to formal meetings with his boss to discuss his various breaches.

High speed X2000 trains, cargo trains, and regular passenger trains have all been affected by the 52-year-old's relaxed approach to his job as a signal operator.âÂÂ

This weekâÂÂs winner of the âÂÂLiar, Liar Pants on Fireâ trophy goes to Zaragoza boss, José Aurelio Gay, for his whopper on his - completely non-existent and never going to happen in a billion years - potential job offers, in the summer, when his contract at the club expires.

âÂÂI want to carry on here, I hope I canâ gushed Gay, âÂÂEven if they offer me a job at Sevilla, Valencia or even Barcelona, for example, I would want to stay at Zaragoza.âÂÂ

Espanyol (14th) v Atlético (4th)

Good news for Atlético Madrid with their passing into the Europa League semis means bad news for the Spanish FA which is running out of dates to play what has now become the Cursed Copa del Rey final.

It was an incident which kicked off one of the finest rants that the blog has heard from some time, thanks to César Sánchez.

âÂÂThe referees donâÂÂt live up to the standard of UEFA,â blasted the Valencia goalkeeper. âÂÂIt was a scandal and a disaster. They all saw it, there were four of them and even the sixth official, too. After this game, IâÂÂm going to check through my pockets.âÂÂ

FFT.com: Features * News * Interviews * Forums * Home
Interact: FFT Twitter * Facebook * La Liga Loca Twitter