Betis to embark on new future of failure?

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Real Betis is normally known for shaky goings-on both on and off the pitch. And for playing in yukky Norwich green.

The club is currently fighting their umpteenth battle against relegation, being fined on what seems to be a fortnightly basis for poor crowd control as well as being investigated by men with calculators for off-the-field financial naughtiness.

But in the matter of a few short weeks, a whole new group of investors could be standing together with the players for a glorious new era of relegation fights - or a promotion scrap - as Betis become embroiled in sheikhy affairs of a very different kind.

A visit by clipboard clasping minions from Emir Humaid Bin Rashid Al Nuami from the UAE have spent the past few days looking for skeletons in Betis’ closets - quite literally - with a view to splurging 90 million euro on Darth Manuel de Lopera’s 52 percent majority shareholding.

And an announcement made on Monday by, spokesman, Israel Gutiérrez de Alba suggests that his boss’ consortium likes the cut of Betis’ trouser, so far.

“I want the fans to know that they are very interested in buying the club,” declared De Alba, but warned supporters not to expect any movement on the affair anytime soon. t“This cannot be done in a couple of days.”

The stumbling blocks to the deal are Darth de Lopera’s tendency to promise fans that he will go forth and multiply by selling up only to change his mind. This has happened on three recent occasions.

The Husky-obsessed titan is also under the impression that he is loved and adored by the Betico faithful.

It’s love that can only have grown more tender when the state prosecutors office produced a report last year, accusing De Lopera of having “abused his position for his own or a third party benefit and prejudiced the interests of the club” by directing income meant for Betis to his holding company, Encadesa, which also has Russian interests.

It appears that the Beelzebub of Betis would also have to travel / teleport to London in early April to conclude any buy-out deal - the venue chosen by the potential new owners.

But sadly, the Lord of the Flies is still recovering from a bout of pneumonia brought on by the temperature change suffered after spending the past few months wintering in his timeshare in the hot fires of hell.

Moving on now to the murky world of Marca, and La Liga Loca has come to the conclusion that Raúl must have some photos of one of the paper’s bigwigs getting up to naughty business with a donkey. And the blog reckons it knows which one it is.

It’s the only rational explanation for their truly ludicrous arse-kissing campaign of the Madrid captain over the past year.

First off, they gave the name-pointing numbskull their player of the year award for last season.

Then it was was the awarding of the paper’s grubby ‘Marca Legend’ trophy, last month.

Most recently of all, it’s their insane campaign to have Raúl returned to the Spanish national side because La Furia Roja has performed so poorly without his prickly presence for the past two years or so.

“The best players must be in the national team and, today, Raúl is better than Güiza,” ranted the paper’s editorial on Saturday after Vicente del Bosque’s latest exclusion of the legendary tormentor of Liverpool.

Ignoring the fact their argument happens to put Alvaro Negredo ahead of Raúl in the international pecking order, Marca’s internet site ran a poll asking if it was the right decision to leave Raúl out of the squad to face Turkey.

When La Liga Loca checked the result on Saturday morning, 67 percent supported Del Bosque - a result that forced Marca to put a message next to the poll saying that the score was only provisional due to possible fraud - the paper’s only explanation for readers failing to agree with their very silly stance.

Tuesday’s edition includes an interview with Del Bosque where five questions were put to the Spain manager in regards to Raúl’s disgraceful omission.

“We cannot consider every player who scores two goals on a Sunday,” huffed the former Madrid manager in response.

In order to soothe La Liga Loca’s rising heckles, the blog turned to, Barça-barmy comic, Mundo Deportivo for some light relief and a spot of colouring-in.

And it was not to be disappointed as the paper was running another “Top Secret Confidential!” story.

In recent months, these have ranged from scoops detailing that the grass is green, the sun is hot and that Pep Guardiola had dumped Coldplay and gone hardcore with Snow Patrol for his dressing room tunes.

On Tuesday, they stunned the football world with the story that Barcelona have prepared a scouting report on Bayern Munich. Imagine that!

One football club studying their opposition ahead of a Champions League game. Pulitzer Prize-winning stuff.

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