UEFA have confirmed that Celtic will be entered into the Checkatrade Trophy if they are dumped out of the Europa League at the group stage, as the Scottish champions continue their slide down the competition hierarchy.
Brendan Rodgers started the season looking to deliver a successful Champions League campaign, but after elimination at the hands of AEK he was forced to set his sights on the Europa League.
However, unless Celtic can beat RB Leipzig 2-0 on Matchday 4, they face elimination and must target the EFL Trophy instead under new UEFA rules.
“We really try hard to ensure that teams find a competition that is at their level,” a UEFA spokesman told FourFourTwo.
“That’s the whole logic behind joining the Europa League when the Champions League is a step too far.
“Of course, if Celtic lose to Everton Under-21s or Oldham in the Checkatrade, then they will join the UEFA Regions Cup.
“Lose there and they move into the Gothia Cup in Sweden, which is, frankly speaking, a tournament for children.”
Worst case
If Celtic are unable to break their run of poor form, they may have to settle for glory in the Coppa Ottorino Barassi, a tournament that pitted the English Amateur FA winners against the Italian Coppa Italia Dilettanti winners but appears to have been defunct since 1976.
“We’re all looking to avoid a Wednesday evening game against the Soresinese side of 1975/76,” Rodgers admitted to FourFourTwo.
“Not least because the logistics of even locating these middle-aged men in the Cremona region would take up a significant amount of time, which honestly we don’t have.
“But ultimately I believe that our class will tell, especially if it comes to playing against a team weakened by decades of inactivity, weight gain and, I’m sad to say, death.”
Celtic have refused to comment on whether a pencilled-in booking for a five-a-side league in Preston under the name ‘The Celtic Football Club’ is in fact for their first team.
Please note: This story is satirical. Obviously.
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