Writing a book is only part of writing a book.
Once your publishers have your final manuscript, the promotion work starts. Review copies are sent to editors and a publicity team fix interviews for the author.
IâÂÂve spent much of the last two weeks promoting Glory Glory! and it has been largely enjoyable, if tiring.
Seven meetings and interviews in seven hours around Manchester yesterday would have been more manageable had I not torn a ligament in my foot last week.
FFT reader offer: get ã6 off Glory Glory! here
We also have three book signings. The first was last Friday with Paddy Crerand in the Trafford Centre.
âÂÂHow am I going to get there?â asked Crerand the night before, still tired after returning from UnitedâÂÂs game in Moscow.
âÂÂBy car, like most people,â I replied.
âÂÂI canâÂÂt do that, youâÂÂll have to pick me up,â he responded firmly.
Which was probably sensible given that he thought we were going to The Water Shop rather than WaterstoneâÂÂs.
He put his best jumper on and we walked through the huge shopping centre, Paddy cursing that heâÂÂd been once since it opened in 1998 â and that was only because his wife, who goes all the time, forced him.
âÂÂWhat the ****âÂÂs that?â he then asked in astonishment.
âÂÂA food court, where people eat.âÂÂ
âÂÂF**king hell!âÂÂ
An Indian family recognised Paddy and swamped him for photos. HeâÂÂs like a living god among Manchester United fans.
âÂÂDo you remember me?â asked one man. âÂÂI used to see you in Altrincham in the '80s.âÂÂ
âÂÂOf course I do,â fibbed Paddy with a smile. âÂÂHow are you doing?âÂÂ
The signing went well. Sky Sports sent a camera crew down and we met some lovely people.
One attractive lady told Paddy that sheâÂÂd watched him in the '60s. He proudly opened a book to show her how good he looked then.
And he told me a story about how heâÂÂd been with Rio Ferdinand, Wayne Rooney and Nobby Stiles.
Ferdinand and Rooney were totally in awe of Stiles and his stories of winning the World Cup with England.
PaddyâÂÂs wife was supposed to come and meet him after the hour session was up.
She didnâÂÂt so we carried on signing and chatting to all kinds of people, Paddy wearing his enthusiasm for life like a magic charm.
âÂÂHow am I going to get hold of my wife?â asked Paddy eventually. âÂÂI donâÂÂt have a phone. Or her number.âÂÂ
âÂÂYouâÂÂre going to struggle then,â I replied.
Paddy got out his glasses case, where he had scrawled two phone numbers on the cloth inners â that was the sum of his phone book. Neither number had a name by it.
âÂÂWhich one of those is NoreenâÂÂs?â Crerand asked.
âÂÂHow am I supposed to know?" I replied. "SheâÂÂs your wife.âÂÂ
Neither number was correct.
10 minutes later, Noreen called me to relay a message that she was coming to rescue her stranded husband.
Noreen was a Glasgow beauty queen in 1958 and sheâÂÂs great. She claimed she was first attracted to Paddy because he had eyes like the actor Paul Newmanâ¦that and he played for Celtic!
IâÂÂve got to do two more signings with Andrew Cole this Thursday in Manchester.
In between, weâÂÂll put the FourFourTwo readersâ questions to him for a One on One.
Cole is well organised and owns three mobiles. There could have been a complication had the signing been last week, though.
Some scrote robbed ColeâÂÂs car outside the Trafford Centre, with two of his mobile phones inside after heâÂÂd given his time to do a âÂÂKick Racism out of Footballâ initiative.
Given his aversion to the place, you can safely assume that the thief wasnâÂÂt Crerand.
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