La Liga Review 2010/11: Ronaldo’s row, Forlán’s confession and turnip-snogging

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Diego Forlán's season-long sulk continued with comments made to Marca suggesting that he had long since given up winning over the Atletico Madrid fast. Some Rojiblanco supporters felt that the Uruguayan was less than dedicated to the cause, and had begun booing him even when he was on the bench – which was happening more frequently. 

“Football is the cheapest form of psychological treatment for people,” shrugged Forlán, unaware that the cost of a season ticket at the Vicente Calderón is the most expensive way of going insane in the first place. “I’m not an Atlético fan, so it seems a lack of respect to kiss the badge,” said the striker, in a refreshingly honest admission.

Meanwhile, the contract extension for Rojiblanco loyalist Kun Agüero was still making news, with the club’s Director General Miguel Angel Gil promising that the inevitably Real Madrid-bound Argentinian is “not going to Real Madrid, this year or the next.” Let’s see how that works out.

Over in Mordor, the tiff of the month took place between Cristiano Ronaldo and Osasuna's all-round nut-job Walter Pandiani. Coming off the pitch at half-time during Madrid’s defeat to the Pamplona club, the two players had a bit of a stand-off.

Pandiani revealed that Ronaldo had asked how much the Osasuna forward earned, and not in a pleasant conversational way. Pandiani later noted that, had the question been posed in his home country, Ronaldo would have required an emergency dental appointment. “He’s a phenomenal player but he has a screw loose,” said a man who speaks from experience. 

"I could buy you!" "And I could chin you…"

A goalless draw against Deportivo – words that were to be repeated a lot over the campaign – saw José Mourinho looking for more targets to blame as Real Madrid’s title chances diminished even further. On this occasion it was the fixture compilers, plus Deportivo for defending too well. It was a grumble that even had AS editor Alfredo Relaño in the poo-pooing camp.

“Mou complains a lot,” noted Relaño, accurately. “He complains about [the ref], the structure of the club, that Cristiano Ronaldo is fouled more than Messi, yellow cards, the fourth official, the calendar... he could fall into a caricature and he doesn’t need to.” For Catalan TV presenter Xavier Sardà, that had happened already with the observation that “Mou plays the role of an idiot extraordinarily well.”

Racing Santander’s bright new future under owner Ahsan Ali Syed began with the firing of Miguel Angel Portugal and the appointment of former boss Marcelino. However, there were still lingering doubts – not nearly enough, though – about who the Indian businessman was and what the heckety heck he was really up to. “None of my companies have debts and Racing will be no different,” said Ali Syed in response to questions on the currently indebted Cantabrian club.

And finally, Vicente del Bosque grabbed the moment of the month (OK, it happened in January but LLL has a complicated relationship with time) when being given a prize for leading Spain to a World Cup win by the Brotherhood of the Friends of the Turnip – a ceremonial act which involved the kissing of the vegetable in question.  There’s a joke there about Fabio Capello and Graham Taylor but LLL certainly isn’t going to make it.