The world according to Zlatan
When Zlatan Ibrahimovic suffered knee ligament damage in a Europa League clash with Anderlecht in April, many feared the worst. Having won trophies in the Netherlands, Italy, Spain and England in a magnificent career, it was widely opined that a player in his mid-30s would either have to hang up his boots or move to a second-tier competition such as MLS or the Chinese Super League.
Instead, Ibrahimovic signed another one-year contract with Manchester United in the summer, before completing his comeback far quicker than anticipated with a substitute appearance against Newcastle in November. With the Swede set to play an important role as United challenge for silverware under Jose Mourinho, headline writers will be licking their lips at the thought of post-match interviews filled with controversial barbs and withering put-downs.
Here are the best Ibrahimovic quotes to date.
23. Beckham loves Bieber
"We were looking through his playlist in the dressing room – there was lots of Justin Bieber, Jonas Brothers and Selena Gomez. It is nice to know that even David Beckham doesn't have good taste in everything."
There’s a compliment for former PSG team-mate Beckham in there somewhere…
13. PC Zlatan
“‘It was a joke,’ I explained. The cops laughed, but a photographer appeared and snapped a photo. Idiot that I was, I put on a huge grin. You can imagine what happened next.”
On defusing a situation whereby he and some pals pretended to be police officers while stopping a sex worker and potential client in Malmo.
11. Balls to that
“[Pep] Guardiola was staring at me and I lost it. I thought 'there is my enemy, scratching his bald head!'. I yelled to him: 'You have no balls!' and probably worse things than that.”
Further evidence of why the Swede is more of a Mourinho man. Let’s hope Zlatan never loses his hair.
10. Rock, paper...
“Mido picked up a pair of scissors and flung them at me. It was completely nuts. The scissors whizzed past my head, straight into the concrete wall and made a crack in it. I went over and gave him a smack, but 10 minutes later we left with our arms around each other. Much later I discovered our team manager had kept those scissors as a souvenir, to show his kids.”
On another run-in with a team-mate, this time Egyptian striker Mido – and what it was worth to his coach.
9. Team-mate love
“I didn’t injure you on purpose, and you know that. If you accuse me again I’ll break both your legs, and that time it will be on purpose.”
A spat with Rafael van der Vaart, who was then his club captain at Ajax, during a friendly between Sweden and Holland (Van der Vaart had injured ankle ligaments and blamed a tackle by Ibrahimovic).
5. Not one to make a scene
“At Barca, players were banned from driving their sports cars to training. I thought this was ridiculous – it was no one’s business what car I drive – so in April, before a match with Almeria, I drove my Ferrari Enzo to work.”
Zlatan has only ever been one to make an entrance.
1. No auditions
“I was like, 'No way, Zlatan doesn't do auditions', I thought. 'You either know me or you don't and if you don't know me you can't really want me'.”
On the – apparently humiliating – prospect of a trial with Arsenal in 2000. Another for Arsene Wenger’s long list of ‘players I almost signed’.
