Every season we sit in front of the Fantasy Premier League app, scratching our heads. We make decisions, go back on those decisions. What do we choose, exactly? What's a sure-fire tactic to see us top our mates' league come Monday morning?
And that's just to choose the name of our fantasy team.
While 'Harry's Heroes' and 'Steve's XI' may have used to have had a place in your Fantasy League, now it's about the funniest, the punniest and the downright worst wordplay possible. Some footballers are legitimately stigmatised for life by awful Fantasy names. Yes, Jeff Schlupp. Looking at you.
So we thought we'd throw some ideas into the ring for you. How about a century to start you off with?
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The classics
These will either a) never get old or b) already feel so old that they’re back in fashion again. That’s how it works, right?
- Norfolk n’ Good
- Ctrl + Alt + De Laet
- Game Of Throw-Ins
- Inter Yermam
- Khedira Pin Drop
- Murder On Zidane’s Floor
- ABCDE FC
- Fifty Shades Of Andy Gray
- Krul and the Gang
- Obi One Kenobi Nil
- The Cesc Pistols
- Cesc and the City
- Le Saux Solid Crew
- Dzeko and the Bunnymen
- Blink 1-Eto’o
- Men Behaving Chadli
- Gylfi Pleasures
The ones we loved from last year…
*raucous applause from Team FFT*
- AC a little silhouetto of Milan
- Gangsters Allardyce
- Sound of the Lloris
- Flying Without Ings
- Come Digne With Mee
- Champagne SuperRovers
- Lingardium Leviosa
- Enter Shaqiri
- Willian Dollar Baby
- Michu at De Gea Ba
- Who Ate All Depays?
- Moves Like Xhaka
- 3 Men and a Bebe
- Dukes of Hazard
- Lallanas in Pyjamas
- Delph & Safety
- The Kouyate Kid
- Netflix and Chilwell
The absolute worst from last year…
Dreadful insults to punning everywhere.
- Stay Together For De Ligt
- Salt and Vinagre
- Livorno Let Die
- Werther’s Origi-nals
- Origi-nal Gangster
- A Bridge Eto’o VAR
- Egg Fried Reus
- Lauren and Vardy
- 1Bissaka2Bissaka3Bissaka4
- LaVideocazette
- Balotelli-Tubbies
Some new favourites
Some of these are new, some a little worn and some are stunning puns. But we'd be happy to take any of them for our side.
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- The Martial Mata LP
- Imaginary Madrid
- Cahills Have Eyes
- Let’s Go Fosu-Mensah
- Show Me The Mane
- CommethTheAouar
- Run The Kewells
- What Samatta With U
- Hanging By A Fred
- Giroud Awakening
- BashamTheBishop
- Knockaert Blow
- I Almiron And Only
- Slumdog Mignolet
- Jota Than Hell
- Mee, My Delph & Ibe
- Tomori Never Dies
- Muller Reus Corner
- She Sells Lascelles
- Smack My Bilic Up
- Mint Bailly’s
- For Fuchs Sake
- Sissoko Ono
- Sonny and Schar
- Lallana Del Rey
- HuttonDressedAsLahm
- Lads on Toure
- The Neville Wears Prada
- Morning Traore
Some we're not sure about
Hmmmm... Not all puns are good puns, are they? But some are so ruddy awful, they're good (that's not a John Ruddy pun).
- Romeu & Houlliet
- One Size Fitz Hall
- AlbrightonTheNight
- Ings When Ur Winning
- Angus Gunns & Roses
- Back of the Neto
- Boly Pocket
- I’mLovinEngelsInstead
- On Me Gedson
- Berge King
- Gayle Force Win
- Love & Cesc & Matic
- Type One Diabate
- Up The Duffy
- TierneyOfEverything
- Amartey McFly
- ...Tuanzebe1MoreTime
- Keita The Door
- JesusIsComingLookEze
- Dunk Your Busquets
- Anelka Skelter
- Gilmour Girls
- HoldingBackTheYears
And the rude ones
There's always one.
- The VARginas
- Your Mum’s Zohore
- Leavemyarselona
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