The ‘Waiting For West Ham’ Weekend Predictions - Round 2

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Atlético vs Racing

When Marca ran their exposé on vote-rigging at Real Madrid’s last AGM, the blog was quite happy to applaud both the cojones of the paper and a brilliant piece of journalism that eventually unseated former president, Ramón Calderón.

But then it realised that the whole affair was designed to usher in Florentino Pérez, instead.

And this is why it has an uneasy feeling surrounding the paper’s current laudable campaign to kick the Gil family out of Atlético Madrid.

Wednesday’s edition ran an interview with the son of former president, Vicente Calderón - also called Vicente Calderón - who accused director general Miguel Angel Gil Marin of being “a compulsive liar... who took control of the club in an illegal manner.”

“We have seen how a club known for its success has become famous for its shame,” blasted Wednesday’s editorial.

For club president Enrique Cerezo and Gil Marin to leave the club then they would need to sell their shares, although Cerezo doesn’t look like doing this anytime soon with his snarl that expected protesters at Saturday’s match should be “thanking us.”

And for the sale to go through, then there would have to be someone out there looking to buy them.

La Liga Loca’s spider sense is all of a tingle with the feeling that Marca may know something they aren’t ready to tell us yet.

LLL Prediction - Home win

*You can following Atlético Madrid v Racing v The Fans on Twitter from 17.45 CET live from the Vicente Calderón.

Getafe vs Barcelona

There were further indications this week that picky Pep Guardiola will wait until the results of Barça’s elections next year before deciding whether to extend his contract past the end of the current campaign or not.

Manuel Estiarte, the club’s ‘Director of External Relations’ - the job crisis in Spain has yet to hit football, it would appear - has confessed that “Pep doesn’t know if he will carry on next year or not, although he has the desire to continue.”

Estiarte also discussed the sale of Samuel Eto’o and said that the striker's transfer came about because “with Pep, it’s all a question of instinct... there wasn’t a good relationship between the two.”

LLL Prediction - Away win

Espanyol vs Real Madrid

One of the many, many, many conspiracy theories in Spain concerns which club gets the most help from referees.

Personally, La Liga Loca feels they are all hooky hokum and that every side is equally blighted by some of the worst decision-making in the world.

But Real Madrid sent message boards into a frenzy this week with the announcement that the club planned to recruit former whistle-blower Mejía Davila to handle relations with Spain’s referees organisation.

AS were first to note in an editorial that the decision was likely to provoke some controversy, and even reported that the move was to be put on hold while the storm of reaction blew itself out.

“The climate of suspicion that has been created has forced us to rethink,” said a Madrid spokesperson to the paper.

However, the lapdogs at Marca have been happy to support Madrid’s initiative by arguing that “criticisms are as opportunistic as they are absurd, unfair and without foundation.”

This week also saw the annual issuing of the players code of conduct with the aim of ensuring Madrid’s footballers remain model professionals who would not dare soil the good name of Florentino Pérez.

La Liga Loca has so far been unable to confirm if this book has a special chapter for Sergio Ramos.

LLL Prediction - Draw

Sevilla vs Zaragoza

Questions over the future of Sevilla coach Manolo Jiménez makes José Maria del Nido’s big boldy head go so red with rancour, that La Liga Loca suspects that journalists are asking them just for the fun of it.

A 2-0 defeat in Mestalla for Sevilla in the opening round saw hacks in mischief-making mode once again this week at an event to unveil Sevilla’s Champions League shirts.

The attacks on Jiménez were “excessive” complained the Sevilla president, who pointed out that his manager had “only had one bad game.”

But there was even more reason for Del Nido to get his panties in a bunch, with a mini-protest from a group of fans opposed to the club wearing the Spanish flag on the shirts.

“We are not going to mortgage the club just for 10 delinquents,” was the charming response from the ever diplomatic Del Nido.


Tenerife vs Osasuna

According to the song, only mad dogs and Englishman go out in the midday sun.

The words ‘Tenerife’ and ‘Osasuna’ should be added to Noel Coward’s little ditty, as this Sunday’s top-flight clash has been scheduled for 4pm.

“It’s going to horrible,” complained wussbag Walter Pandiani, who refused to join in the spirit of Sunday’s occasion.

“We’ve been training at 6pm to see what it’s like. We’ve suffered and you have to take in as much water as you possibly can.”

LLL Prediction - Home win

Deportivo vs Málaga

It’s been a curious week for Deportivo/Málaga midfielder Queen Lafita, as he has been forced to train alone while the Spanish authorities decide which club he currently belongs to.

An enormous mess on transfer deadline day has left poor Lafita in limbo, with Deportivo claiming that he was still their man, arguing that former club Zaragoza only paid a part of the player’s buy-out clause.

A final decision on Lafita’s future is set to be made next week, with both clubs having filed their arguments of ownership.

But, as Depor striker Mista has noted, “no-one has asked Lafita where he wants to play.”

Barcelona probably.

LLL Prediction - Home win

Villarreal vs Mallorca

Are you a hopeless, clapped-out striker? Passed your best in the ‘still completely crap’ sense of the word?

Then give West Ham a call, as they’ll be delighted to give you a game and probably pay you 150,000 quid a week in the process.

Over the past few years, the truly terrible Getafe forward Kepa spent a bit of time at Upton Park, managing just the one goal in his loan spell.

Then it was clapped-out old coot Diego Tristán, who spent a year at the Premier League club managing a whopping 3 goals.

But it seems that the latest striker to try his luck in East London is misfiring forward Guille Franco, who says he has found his new home after leaving Villarreal in the summer.

"Imagine how I feel after so much criticism for not having a team but thank God my dream has come true to play in England," beamed the man from Mexico.

LLL Prediction - Home win

Sporting vs Almería

Relying on last-minute flukes and the mood-swings of Zlatan Ibrahimovic, scoring goals has been a bit of an issue for the Swedish national side of late.

So that’s why La Liga Loca once asked a Swedish colleague why Almería striker Henok Goitum has never been called up by his country.

“Because he’s totally crap,” was the honest and accurate reply.

It’s this failure to be invited into the Swedish fold that sees Goitum turning to Eritrea for his international future, the country for whom his father played basketball.

“I was born in Solna ( in Stockholm) but feel Eritrean,” explained the former Real Valladolid man.

LLL Prediction - Home win

Valladolid vs Valencia

Having fired a blank in Valladolid’s first match of the season, Manucho - the man who promised 40 goals in the current campaign - is already running out of time to come good on his preposterous pledge.

So with just 37 league games left until the end of the season, the former Manchester United man will be looking to Valladolid’s first home clash of the campaign as a chance to make La Liga Loca look very silly indeed with a stunning hat-trick.

LLL Prediction - Away win

Xerez vs Athletic Bilbao

After centuries of waiting, La Liga Loca finally got a confession from the Athletic Bilbao camp that the club isn’t exactly easy-on-the-eye when it comes to their rough-and-tumble, ‘pragmatic’ playing style.

“I would love it if they played like Brazil in 1970, but there is an order of priorities here. First, it’s results, then it’s nice football,” admitted club president Fernando García Macua.

LLL Prediction - Away win

Don't forget, La Liga Loca will be Twittering (well, tweeting, what-ev-errrr) from Atlético Madrid vs Racing Santander at the Vicente Calderón on Saturday from 17.45 CET. 

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