Alexis arrives, Bojan blubs & Kaká runs out of credit
There was grinning and gushing, shrieking and spurting in the Catalan capital last weekend, as there was finally something for BarÃÂ§a fans to talk about aside from how stupendously superior they are to every other side on the planet and how much they hate those dastardly dastards over at the Bernabeu.
Alexis SÃÂ¡nchez and Udinese finally came to an agreement with Barcelona in a deal worth Ã¢ÂÂ¬26 million up front, Ã¢ÂÂ¬11.5 million in variable fees and an odd little clause relating to friendlies worth Ã¢ÂÂ¬6 million that nobody in Spain is really that sure about...
However, Serie AÃ¢ÂÂs balance with Barcelona remains equal, as the Italian league is gaining bowl-haired Bojan, with the little forward being flogged to Roma for not being particularly good over the past couple of seasons.
However, the wee nipper sees things slightly differently, and blames Pep Guardiola for his exit. Coming over all Samuel EtoÃ¢ÂÂo/Zlatan Ibrahimovic, he whinged: Ã¢ÂÂ[Guardiola has] not been fair to me many times and thatÃ¢ÂÂs one of the reasons IÃ¢ÂÂve decided to go.Ã¢ÂÂ
"Yeah, well you can't flog me, because I quit..."
Up in the Spanish capital, AtlÃÂ©tico Madrid are having their usual pre-season freak-out, with a couple of 45 minute long matches against Granada and Besiktas seeing the Rojiblancos twice defeated and twice failing to score - not exactly great preparation for ThursdayÃ¢ÂÂs Europa League whopper against Norwegian outfit Stromsgodset. WhatÃ¢ÂÂs more, Kun AgÃÂ¼ero surprised nobody by failing to show up to training as ordered on Sunday.
However there was good news, with the club having an offer to fill the vacant spot on the front of the clubÃ¢ÂÂs shirts from Ashley Madison, a company that Ã¢ÂÂassistsÃ¢ÂÂ those not exactly happy in their relationships in finding 'joy and happiness' elsewhere.
Ã¢ÂÂItÃ¢ÂÂs a good fit for us,Ã¢ÂÂ explained a spokesman for the company where good fits are a speciality. Ã¢ÂÂItÃ¢ÂÂs a club that ends stereotypes and is an innovator.Ã¢ÂÂ
AS have once again given KakÃÂ¡ a good old kicking for his somewhat flaccid performances in Real MadridÃ¢ÂÂs pre-season matches in the USA, claiming the forward Ã¢ÂÂis beginning to run out of credit.Ã¢ÂÂ LLL would note that KakÃÂ¡ began having his footballing credit card declined by Madrid fans a good 12 months ago.
Kaka chills out in the LA sun, while some other men play a football match
Meanwhile, Ã¢ÂÂMou Team 2.0Ã¢ÂÂ - as Marca now like to call them - are still trying to bring Neymar kicking and screaming over from South America. despite the Santos player and president being not overly keen on the notion and their manager, Muricy Ramalho, claiming the forward wouldnÃ¢ÂÂt enjoy the technical discipline of life under Mourinho. Ã¢ÂÂThe problem with Neymar is that he canÃ¢ÂÂt play in a fixed position,Ã¢ÂÂ opined the Brazilian boss on his wandering star.
Valencia have solved their ongoing disciplinary issues once and for all by issuing the famous, but often pointless, code of conduct that will soon be propping open Miguel BritoÃ¢ÂÂs front door to save him from trying to get his key in the lock at seven in the morning.
Finally, LLL had discovered the unluckiest player in la Liga in the form of Rayo Vallecano's Javi Fuego. The midfielder has experienced the process of administration at Sporting, Levante, Recreativo and now with his current club.
Ã¢ÂÂUnfortunately I know quite a lot about this,Ã¢ÂÂ sighed the midfielder, who is quite possibly the worst footballer in Spain to ask if you can borrow a tenner...