The Fairly Angry Weekend Predictions - Round 33

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Málaga (6th) vs Deportivo (8th)

Now La Liga Loca must start Friday’s ramblings by apologising to Málaga and Deportivo - well, Málaga, anyway - for hijacking their section which should be a joyous dedication to two plucky teams chasing Europa League dreams, etc.

But it must draw attention to Marca’s story on Friday concerning the profile of its typical reader who turns out to be male, between 25 and 44-years-old and from a middle / upper-middle class background.

However, it does not give a profile of the paper’s editor, Eduardo Inda. But La Liga Loca’s own survey can help there - loathsome, cowardly, cheap, nasty and seemingly happy to do anyone’s bidding if the price is right.

On Thursday, a one page editorial from the man himself attacked Ramón Calderón - who was portrayed in a cartoon with red eyes and hands dripping in oil - for choosing TV channel Al Jazeera to air the latest edition of his ‘vendetta’ against Inda’s precious club.

The paper’s editor wrote that it was a disgrace that the ex-president chose a forum that “systematically transmits the nauseating videos of (Osama Bin Laden) the most wanted terrorist of all time,” and attacked those who suggested the station was ‘integrationist’ for offering an alternative viewpoint to the likes of CNN.

Mr Inda. You sir, are an idiot. A really big one.

This particular terrorist mouthpiece also airs the international version of Real Madrid’s television station and was recently given exclusive interviews with Raúl and Iker Casillas.

Is there really nothing you won’t say or do to get Florentino Pérez elected? No depths you won’t sink to? La Liga Loca cannot wait to find out.

LLL Prediction - Home win

Almería (14th) vs Numancia (20th)

Now that they are stuck at the bottom of the table and destined for a swift return to la Segunda, Numancia are tired of being the referee's butt-monkeys and are speaking out against what they perceive to be a season-long campaign against them, a campaign that contributed to the team’s 20 defeats.

“Whenever referees take our games, they laugh in our faces,” complained midfielder Txomin Nagore.

And that’s a fine fantasy if you ignore the fact that Numancia got to play the 10 men of Athletic Bilbao for much of Tuesday night’s encounter, but still ended up losing.

LLL Prediction - Home win

Valencia (4th) vs Barcelona (1st)

Andrés Iniesta’s second minute opener against a truly sorry Sevilla may have kicked whatever stuffing was left in Real Madrid’s title-chasing cushions.

Or so says professional substitute Christoph Metzelder, the one Whites player who was delighted to watch Pepe going postal.

“I sat down in front of my TV to watch the game and two minutes later I wanted to turn it off,” said the German defender looking back at the Getafe clash. Sorry, the Barcelona vs Sevilla match.

Joan ‘Joan’ Laporta, for one, is someone who is living every kick of the title chase at the moment.

Well, that’s the reason he gives for last weekend’s giant huff when he stormed from the Getafe presidential balcony at the end of the game as only Laporta can when he has a big old bee in his bonnet about something.

“This kind of football makes it hard to keep a lid on the excitement,” explained the Barcelona president. What odds on his trousers coming off, once again, between now and the end of the season?

LLL Prediction - Draw


Getafe (16th) vs Villarreal (5th)

Despite doing their level best to sulk their way through Thursday night’s encounter against Recreativo, Villarreal scraped a 2-1 win thanks to what AS are describing as a ‘zombie goal’ from Cani.

Apparently, that’s the term that kids today are using for a ‘goal’ that may or may not have crossed the line.

Thankfully, this is unlikely to launch a time-consuming argument over the use of video technology in the game in Spain, considering those running the sport have yet to get round to fixing the time of next weekend’s Real Madrid vs Barcelona clash - a match that La Liga Loca hears is of some interest to people around the world.

LLL Prediction - Home win

Recreativo (19th) vs Mallorca (10th)

La Liga Loca must admit that it gave up half-way through Mallorca’s televised encounter with Valladolid. There’s only so much fun a blog can take watching what was an awful, goalless draw between two mid-table sides.

But La Liga Loca was punished by its impatience by missing out on two strikes from Mallorca striker Alhassane Keita.

The Guinean, who came to the club last summer promising 20 goals, has now racked up three which should leave the Balearic side as very much the one to watch over the last six rounds of action.

LLL Prediction - Home win

Valladolid (9th) vs Osasuna (15th)

It seems that Osasuna may be in a spot of bother after their Wednesday night mash-up with Málaga.

The three red cards for the home side as well as the dismissal of manager José Antonio Camacho sparked the notoriously volatile crowd into life with a barrage of objects being thrown onto the pitch.

The referee’s report advises that Málaga’s Albert Luque was struck by an object and that the linesman was hit by a coin as he left the field at the end of the game.

LLL Prediction - Draw

Athletic (13th) vs Racing (11th)

After giving their fans - and the blog - a relegation scare for a while after a period of poor performances, Racing took advantage of the visit of the softest touches in la Liga, Atlético Madrid, to issue a 5-1 spanking to their opponents and move the club to within one or two points of safety.

And it’s all thanks to little Pedro Munitis, who wafted in two free-kicks that caused chaos in the Atleti box and plopped in Racing’s fourth - a truly exquisite chip.

“It was a magical night,” sighed the former Real Madrid front man, wiping away a tiny tear.

LLL Prediction - Home win

Espanyol (18th) vs Betis (12th)

Surely, Espanyol cannot lift themselves out of their mess, like a powerlifting patient in an English care home?

They may have grabbed three goals on Thursday night to ease past Sporting in Gíjon. But it is set to be a very different matter on Sunday with the visit of Betis, a tough team with everything still to play for and.... and... the blog’s not fooling anyone is it?

LLL Prediction - Big home win

Sevilla (3rd) vs Real Madrid (2nd)

While Pepe goes off to think long and hard about what he has done and perhaps considers rugby as a future career - after all, it’s a sport where stud-raking and trying to boot people’s heads into the stands is fair game - Madrid must take the trip down south to take on Sevilla, a side who may or may not fancy trying to win this game.

After the scenes of violence at the Bernabeu on Tuesday night - especially the sadly overlooked dustup between Cata Díaz and Marcelo, the most unfortunate mismatch since Maniche sat on a picnic stool - there could well be more fireworks on Sunday night according to Christoph Metzelder in an interview with AS.

“Sevilla are going to be going out with a knife in their bags, no doubt,” predicted the defender.

La Liga Loca is unsure if it is the accessories on a field of play or the lethal weapon that the Spanish authorities are going to be most troubled by.

Could go either way. A bit like the game.

LLL Prediction - Home win

Atlético Madrid (7th) vs Sporting (17th)

Now La Liga Loca doesn’t like snorting ‘told you so’ in response to Atlético’s 5-1 thrashing by Racing Santander on Thursday night, but it is going to anyway.

Told you so.

In the most predictable, explosive climax seen since Ever Banega got his right hand back after three months in plaster, the Atlético Madrid players promised ‘seven finals left, Champions League, all in it together, giving our all, etc’ and came up ever so slightly short in el Sardinero.

“They approached the game as if it was a friendly,” wrote Marca, giving the team an underhand compliment.

“We know that everything looks dark now but perhaps it won’t be on Sunday, ” said rojiblanco boss Abel Resino, who is already looking forward to Sunday night’s home tie in front of some happy home fans.

LLL Prediction - Home win

You can catch Tim Stannard - the only man paler than Andres Iniesta - on pundit duty on RMTV’s Extra Time, broadcast 22.05 Friday night on Sky Digital channel 446 and repeated over the weekend.

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