The Flimsy Weekend Predictions - Round 30
Saturday
Zaragoza (17th) v Málaga (15th)
Although the midfielder was last seen choking on Leo MessiâÂÂs dazzling dust a couple of weeks ago, as one of the many victims of the forwardâÂÂs wonder goal in La Romareda, Ander HerreraâÂÂs proven inability to stop BarcelonaâÂÂs creative thrusting has apparently been seen as just the ticket for Arsene WengerâÂÂs squad at Arsenal to join the rest of his ball-chasing mob at the Emirates.
âÂÂItâÂÂs an honour that a great club is interested in me, but with Arsenal it feels like utopia,â swooned the 20-year-old Ander who is a product of ZaragozaâÂÂs youth academy.
The other urgent Aragonese news of the week sees the club cutting down on the ham bills a tad in these times of crisis by setting up a governing board that could meet in a cupboard.
The new Zaragoza bigwigs body consists of just three people, the main shareholder and president, Agapito Iglesias, and two of his friends brought in to keep him company, perhaps.
LLL Prediction - Home win
Get FourFourTwo Newsletter
The best features, fun and footballing quizzes, straight to your inbox every week.
Barcelona (2nd) v Athletic (6th)
Whilst the midweek clash against Arsenal may have been a very good night indeed for football fans all over the world who could swoon over the most insane opening 20 minutes of a game ever seen, it was not so hot for one particular Mexican defender.
Gerard PiquéâÂÂs yellow card and the rather harsh red handed out to the peerless Carles Puyol sees the very much maligned Rafa Márquez set to start against Arsenal on Tuesday night.
And this is sure to kick off a week of tutting, moaning and plain rudeness from Barcelona supporters who are not the most amorous of admirers of their Central American stopper.
The Barcelona press have yet to think as far ahead as next weekâÂÂs game and are still basking in a pool of smugness over the 2-2 draw in London and what it could mean for next weekâÂÂs clasÃÂco clash in the Bernabeu.
âÂÂFlorentino Pérez has nightmares about Barcelona,â sniggers Joan Batlle in FridayâÂÂs Sport, who claims that after the display against Arsenal the Madrid president, manager and players know that âÂÂthey are cannon fodder if GuardiolaâÂÂs men play at the same level next Saturday.âÂÂ
LLL Prediction - Home win
Sevilla (5th) v Tenerife (18th)
Whilst Sevilla reportedly have a toss-up - in very non Ever Banega sense of the word, the blog hopes - between Laurent Blanc and MallorcaâÂÂs Gregorio Manzano for the role of team coach for next season, former number two Antonio Alvarez has been given the job of turning a side of lazy, too-busy-thinking-about-the-World-Cup, downhearted wastrels into a outfit that can make the top four.
And Alvarez feels that he knows exactly what needs to be done to make that dream come true.
âÂÂThere are nine games left and we need to win as many as possible,â confirmed Alvarez proving he has picked up on the tricky business of league football very quickly, indeed.
LLL Prediction - Home win
Sunday
Valladolid (19th) v Villarreal (8th)
ItâÂÂs not been a great week for Valladolid, with local media outlets drip dripping stories over boozy players putting on their disco trousers when they should have been tucked up in bed, preparing for their next humiliating defeat in la Liga.
The on-loan player from Porto, Pelé, was at the centre of a number of allegations including smoking in the dressing room after the clubâÂÂs defeat to 4-0 Atlético Madrid back in January and galavanting about town with some team-mates on the night before the 0-0 draw with Espanyol last week.
This has made the already walking bag of fury Onésimo Sánchez even more irate with the Valladolid manager claiming that âÂÂif it is shown that they were out partying then I donâÂÂt want them in my team for a minute longer,â before ruing that the whole nightclubbing affair made them âÂÂvery happy in Zaragoza, Tenerife and Xerez,â the three relegation rivals for the very doomed Pucela side.
LLL Prediction - Away win
Sporting (12th) v Xerez (20th)
Whilst LLL suspects that the Xerez managerâÂÂs impressive perm may contain special powers that sees its owner Gorosito picking up 14 points for his bottom of the table team since arriving in January, one of his players say it is down to more mundane reasons.
âÂÂHe treats us well and gives us a lot of confidence,â sighs striker MÃÂchel.
LLL Prediction - Home win
Getafe (9th) v Espanyol (14th)
Impossible as it is to believe, considering the team are not actually that good, Getafe are still chasing a European spot and have a fine chance of closing the five point gap with sixth the visit of softer than kittenâÂÂs tummies on their travels Espanyol to the Coliseum.
However, the last time that Getafe were playing in their own stadium, the side was mullered 4-2 by Real Madrid in a game that caused BarcelonaâÂÂs Seydou Keita to suggest that perhaps teams facing the league leaders werenâÂÂt trying all that hard.
âÂÂThat was offensive,â squeaked midfielder AdrÃÂan. âÂÂAny footballer that plays Madrid or Barcelona always wants to win.âÂÂ
LLL Prediction - Home win
AlmerÃÂa (11th) v Mallorca (4th)
Along with Gorosito, another manager who has landed mid season in la Primera and done some fairly remarkable things is Juanma Lillo.
His tactic of turning AlmerÃÂa into a blisteringly fast counterattacking side has now brought midtable loveliness to a coastal club that had been struggling.
However, Lillo himself is shying away from all the Primera praise by living outside of AlmerÃÂa in the bustling hamlet of La Fabriquilla which has just five other inhabitants.
âÂÂI spend my time here when IâÂÂm not at the club,â reveals Lillo who has just the 100 of his collection of 7,000 sports-related books in his beach-side house to keep him company. âÂÂI like the solitude.âÂÂ
LLL Prediction - Draw
Valencia (3rd) v Osasuna (13th)
The mad two-legged affair against Werder Bremen which ended 5-5 on aggregate was just a mere je-ne-sais-quoi to the fun that was to be had in the next Europa League round against Atlético Madrid on Thursday night.
In a sizzling, sexy encounter Valencia came from behind twice in Mestalla to hold a suddenly-interested-in-football-again Atleti to a 2-2 draw.
And despite the away goals for the Rojiblancos, it leaves next ThursdayâÂÂs rematch in the Vicente Calderón fairly open, although Unai Emery sees it as âÂÂ55% to 45% in AtléticoâÂÂs favour.âÂÂ
LLL Prediction - Home win
Racing (16th) v Real Madrid
With the Champions League being two very dirty words indeed in the Madridista press, both Marca and AS have filled their pages this week with utter nonsense including reports of team dinners (without Karim Benzema, of course) that will surely lead to Cibeles glory and GutiâÂÂs latest injury - his 10th of the season, for those keeping count.
But in an interesting but fairly pointless tangent, a scuffle broke out between the two papers on Cristiano RonaldoâÂÂs choice of mouth protection.
The 'ever happy to praise the Portuguese ponce at any opportunity' Marca revealed the scintillating fact that the forward wore a boxing style gum shield in Atlético Madrid that can only have enhanced his abilities to fire shots into the stands and not pass to Gonzalo HiguaÃÂn.
However, AS hit back the following day with the story that the gum shield was an abject failure and it is a hippy-hoppy âÂÂpower balanceâ pulsometer that Ronaldo wears on his wrist that it is the key to his success, before happily revealing where these quack devices can be bought.
ItâÂÂs enough to make you wish that Madrid had beaten Lyon after all.
LLL Prediction - Away win
Atlético Madrid (10th) v Deportivo (7th)
With the Europa League-obsessed Atleti showing as much interest in this game as Maniche in a bowl of salad, itâÂÂs a fine chance for Deportivo to put an end to a wretched recent run of three defeats.
But depressive Depor boss and Lord of Gloom Miguel Angel Lotina is not all that preppy about his sideâÂÂs chances at the Vicente Calderón due to his lack of left flank.
âÂÂWhen Felipe and Guardado are not both out there, we are just so flimsy,â complained Lotina in a big vote of confidence to the rest of his squad.
LLL Prediction - Draw
More fromLa Liga Loca
FFT.com: Features * News * Interviews * Forums * Home
Interact: Twitter * Facebook * Twitter (@LaLigaLoca)
'Alan Sugar said, ‘Ring Alex Ferguson – he knows everyone’. He didn’t know much about him, either. I told Sugar, but he went ahead and hired him anyway': Ex-Tottenham executive on mistake of appointing Christian Gross
'Chelsea have done nothing wrong because they have kept within the rules, but they certainly haven’t kept within the spirit of the rules': Football finance expert on issues with PSR