Got a problem? Maybe you can hire...The G-Team

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In 2008, a hapless Kent football club was sent to League Two for football crimes they actually did commit.

These men then promptly travelled to deepest, darkest Shropshire on Saturday afternoon. Today, still smarting from a 7-0 walloping from Shrewsbury, they sit in eighth place. If you have a problem, if everybody else is busy, and if you can find them, maybe you can hire...GILLINGHAM FOOTBALL CLUB.


You know the rest of it….

The Gillingham of the 80s

Yes, as we’re sure you’ve heard by now, Roland Benedict, son of A-Team star Dirk, is currently having a trial with Kent’s finest.

Benedict the younger has been described by pops as ‘quite good’ at football, which explains his willingness to take in Gillingham’s reserve match against Southampton last week.

Will the team walk out on a match-day to the famous theme tune? Will the Gills squad start to travel to away games in a black and red van? Will they face a battle against corrupt police (or maybe referees) on a weekly basis?

So, so many questions which frankly only Paul Scally and chums could answer, but it got us thinking (rather than doing proper work); who from the wide and wonderful world of football could be recruited to complete the crime-fighting quartet.

So let’s meet the stars of ‘The G-Team’:

Allison: loves it when a plan comes together...

Malcolm Allison as Hannibal

The former Manchester City and Crystal Palace boss loves nothing better than a puff on a decent-sized cigar while reflecting on whether his plans had ‘come together’, although those were most likely plans to outwit his rival managers rather than escape from a barn using oil drums, lengths of rope and fire extinguishers, making him the perfect boss for the G-Team.

Jimmy Bullard as ‘Howlin Mad’ Murdock

Who better to fill the role as the lovable mentalist of the group than Fulham’s own chirpy cheeky chappie? With his penchant for fishing, the G-Team are sure to get into a few scrapes, with hillarious consiquences… maybe. 

I pity the fool who doesn't get to play under Bruce Rioch

Dennis Bergkamp as BA Baracus

Experienced but with a mean streak, Bergkamp is perfect for the role of Baracus, despite the minor aesthetic differences. Just don’t expect him to ‘get on no plane fool.’ At least not without Allison slipping something in his Lucozade bottle.