On Tuesday, we asked our Twitter followers if they'd ever had a mundane encounter with a footballer. Five hours later, we had to turn the notifications off the thread.
It popped off, with over 1,000 comments and just as many RTs - not that we're flexing. We just sat there, reading through all of them. Chris Perry in Sainsbury's. Manuel Almunia buying a scart lead in Curry's. David Batty crouching, copying something out of a book in WHSmith's, instead of buying the book. Royston Drenthe unsuccessfully trying to hire a car. Edgar Davids at a Beyonce concert.
There were just so many of these bizarre, mostly contextless anecdotes that we couldn't fit them all into one neat article. We've compiled some of our favourites though - you can scroll through the original thread on Twitter, of course.
Saw Barry Hayles enjoying a packet of Mini Cheddars in a cafe at Centre Parcs, Longleat Forest."Mini Cheddar fan, Barry?" I asked."Yep, " he said. I left him to it.February 2, 2021
Everything about this is gloriously specific. We hope Barry remembers the incident.
Sold Rory Delap an ice cream for his kid, he said thanks mate, I said no worries.February 2, 2021
It's unconfirmed but Dan may well have sold Liam Delap an ice cream.
I once met Raymond van der Gouw at a hotel in Ibiza when I was a child and he signed my backpack.February 2, 2021
The Raymond van der Gouw backpack is a rare piece of memorabilia, these days.
Shared a lift with Bielsa. He was very polite but also terrifyingFebruary 2, 2021
We asked James if El Loco had a forensically-researched document on him. James replied, "He was nice to me so I doubt it".
I sold Mark Noble a £200 camera when I used to work for comet. I had to offer the insurance but he declined. My manager didn't know who he was and was asking him if he could afford the repair if it broke.February 2, 2021
Don't lend your camera to Iain Dowie, Nobes - in a separate mundane encounter, one follower claims the ex-striker broke his.
PROOF, GODAMMIT pic.twitter.com/uKuOh6ZxApFebruary 2, 2021
A picture of Felix Magath and a fan shortly after eyeing up the same ham and cheese croissant is what Twitter was invented for.
Steve Perryman said hello to me outside Maine Road when he was Brentford manager in 1989.He then ruined it when he said ‘Sorry, I thought you were someone else.’February 2, 2021
This is heartbreaking.
Sat next to an absolutely mortal Jordan Pickford while waiting for a kebabFebruary 2, 2021
The jokes of Pickford dropping his kebab are far too easy.
Took a piss next to Gordon Banks. That’s it. Nothing was said. Not even a grunt or stray fart from either of us. He’s shorter than I imagined he’d be, in height.February 2, 2021
We could write a book just from the replies we received sharing stories from urinals. We hope you didn't shake hands.
I was behind Alan Shearer in the queue to buy a sandwich once. He ordered tuna mayo - also, my go-to choice.Feeling brave, I said 'oh, you've taken the last of the tuna mayo.'Alan replied 'no I haven't. There's another tub.'And so there was.February 2, 2021
Jon no doubt celebrated this extra supply for tuna mayo with one arm raised, running around the establishment.
Papa Bouba Diop once gave me his phone number on a Christmas Eve because he thought I was Carlton Cole https://t.co/PMq8mjMAnSFebruary 2, 2021
Rest in peace, Papa Bouba Diop. We hope you added Fake Carlton to the West Ham Whatsapp chat.
I was sitting next to Dale Stephens on a flight. I didn’t realise until Callum Wilson turned round and started talking to him. https://t.co/RZo8kJGn1CFebruary 2, 2021
It's a two-for-one, everyone!
In Vilamoura a couple of years ago. @Charlie26Adam accidentally hit my heel with a pushchair. Don’t think he realised. 5 minutes later @chazaustin10 bumped into me in a bar. I don’t think he realised either. Lots of footballers in Vilamoura 2015.February 2, 2021
This poor lad probably never thought he'd get an apology from the pair of cheeky Charlies...
😂😂 sorry about thatFebruary 2, 2021
...but luckily Charlie Adam made amends...
Sorry mate, must of been a bit unsteady on my feet 😂😂February 2, 2021
...before Charlie Austin followed suit. All's well that ends well.
Edwin Van Der Saar in the queue for the logflume at LegolandFebruary 2, 2021
It must have been touch and go as to whether he was too tall for some of the rides, surely.
Grant Hanley and David Dunn chanting their own chants very loudly in a bar when I was trying to have a nice date https://t.co/VgXqvrrOYyFebruary 2, 2021
This really does suggest that Hanley and Dunn themselves were on a date.
Met Tiote outside a Chinese in Newcastle. He was my favourite player at the time and I panicked. I said “do you get free prawn crackers here?”He said “I don’t know”.We both left, never to meet again.February 2, 2021
Bet you use that line to all the Newcastle midfielders, Tom.
Stood next to Kanu in John Lewis Brent Cross - we were both buying school uniform for our kids (different kids, we don't co-parent)February 2, 2021
Bumped into Roy Keane a few times whilst walking respective dogs, he asked if my 3 year old had dropped a gloveFebruary 2, 2021
It's a good job your three-year-old hadn't, or Keano would've delivered a lecture on the importance of not making mistakes at this level.
Stuck behind Shaka Hislop in the queue to buy refreshments at the Vue cinema at Gunwharf Quays, Portsmouth. He bought hotdogs for loads of kids and made me miss the start of Dodgeball.https://t.co/9dWEsF4IvjFebruary 2, 2021
"Why did you miss the start of Dodgeball?"
"Shaka Hislop held me up in the cinema because he was buying loads of hot dogs for kids."
Saw Craig Bellamy eating a kebab/burger (something like that) from a food van parked up the road from Baja. My mate said 'you're Craig Bellamy' he said 'No, i'm not'. But it was https://t.co/mCd1wY7HuuFebruary 2, 2021
Jordi... are you sure that was Craig Bellamy you saw?
Once bought Nacho Monreal an Oyster Card https://t.co/hjUyx1r4n0 pic.twitter.com/b3PZsjxkqnFebruary 2, 2021
And you got a photo to commemorate the event! Fantastic.
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