The Chilly Weekend Predictions - Round 8

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Saturday

Osasuna (19th) vs Betis (16th)

My Best Bullfighting Bunk-ups - In a Saturday night spectacular, SpainâÂÂs favourite uber-lipped celebrity slapper, Belén Esteban, discusses her favourite fornications with manly matadors.

The Big Wide World of Jesús Navas - This week, the constantly homesick Sevilla star plans a cheeky pop-over to Portugal. Before having an anxiety attack and thinking better of it.

Barcelona (4th) vs Almería (6th)

The Barcelona-barmy press have reacted to PepâÂÂs perky 5-0 filleting of their Swiss-cheesed opponents with typical care and caution. Along with an odd case of mild hysteria.

âÂÂThings canâÂÂt be going any better,â gushed an easily pleased Josep Maria Casanovas in Sport on fourth-placed Barcelona.

âÂÂGuardiolaâÂÂs team knows what it can do. For the first time in many years, the most important thing is the squad, not the team.âÂÂ

Having racked up the same number of points in seven games that Ronald Koeman managed in 22; squeezed 15 goals in 15 competitive games out of David Villa and persuaded the sick-note specialist, Vicente, that he isnâÂÂt suffering from a flesh eating virus, going down with scurvy, or having his DNA reverse-engineered by the Ruskies, Unai Emery is set to take on his biggest challenge to date - getting Rubén Baraja and David Albeda to make nice.

In one stunning swoop those bungling bigwigs eliminate potential supporters who a) donâÂÂt fancy freezing to death, b) have jobs, c) donâÂÂt want to spend the night sleeping in the stadium due to the lack of public transport.

Sevilla will barely get a mention round these parts until Manolo Jiménez stops complaining about his injured strikers or José Maria del Nido says something completely insane.

Fight! Fight! Fight! MallorcatâÂÂs last remaining decent player, Juan Arango, has added some spark to this encounter which was looking flatter than a beanbag in ManicheâÂÂs mansion.

âÂÂLuis Garcia and Tamudo are two very good players,â mused the Mallorca man, âÂÂbut they play-act a lot in penalty area. You have to watch them.âÂÂ

3,000 spunky Sporting fans are reportedly heading to La Coruña in a fleet of coaches to take in this dull-fest against Deportivo. La Liga Loca suggests keeping the engine running for the inevitable five minute fleeing from what will be a rain-soaked Riazor.

After the roaring success of WednesdayâÂÂs cheeky footballing probe itâÂÂs quiz-time once again. And on a subject not even remotely related to these two rotten relegation candidates.

a) As soon as he announced his departure for LA Galaxy.
b) At end of the last campaign, when they pointed out Bernd Schuster could not rely on Sergio Ramos running the entire flank on his own.
c) Today.

Villarreal (3rd) vs Atlético Madrid (8th)

The Calderón-caring goodwill generated by the Atlético-Liverpool love-fest on Wednesday night lasted a mere 24 hours in Spain. The biggest issue now rearing its ugly head over the rojiblancos is the news of the sacking of not Javier Aguirre, but Sebastian Truyols.

Poor old Seba, one of the clubâÂÂs physios, made the fatal mistake of asking Iker Casillas for his shirt at the end of another defeat by Real Madrid last Saturday.

âÂÂIt was inappropriate conduct,â huffed an Atlético flunky on the teamâÂÂs decision to deprive Truyols of his livelihood.

La Liga Loca would like to ask if it was as inappropriate as cooking the clubâÂÂs books as club president, Enrique Cerezo was once found guilty of? Or allowing the display of a banner praising Jorg Haider? Or....

After a blissful, but boring, few weeks of silence, Ramón Calderón could no longer contain himself and walked out into the media-minefield to talk to the Bernabeu faithful this week. And insult them too, as it turned out.

The Bernabeu bigwig was in the middle of praising the efforts of the Ultra-Sur, âÂÂitâÂÂs not fair to generalise about them. They sing and support their team,â when he compared them unfavourably with some of the other fans sitting in the stands.

âÂÂThere are people (alongside the presidential balcony) who call me âÂÂ******â and âÂÂ*** ** * *****âÂÂ," complained a rattled Ramón.

So what else is a blog to do during a game, aside from watch Fernando Gago pass the ball off the pitch, is La Liga LocaâÂÂs reply.

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