City of Hull to change name to Tigeropolis
Kingston-upon-Hull City Council have formally moved to change the name of their city to Tigeropolis, following a period of consultation in which it emerged that Hull’s global marketability was being stunted by a “dull name” with a “poor international recognition factor”.
Simon Norman, member of what will soon be known as Tigeropolis City Council, has been a vocal supporter of the change, which he believes will be enough to make his city internationally competitive.
“The name Hull has been holding this city back for too long,” he told reporters. “People hear ‘Hull’ and they think ‘dull’, and ‘hell’, and ‘history’, and ‘William Wilberforce', all of which are frankly boring. They certainly don’t think ‘top four city’.
“But Tigeropolis shouts ‘confident’, and ‘dangerous’, and ‘apex predator’, which are things everyone likes being called. I know I do.”
However, there has been grassroots opposition to the change from residents of Hull, many of whom appear unwilling to undo a thousand years of history and begin referring to themselves as Tigerpolitans.
The “My Hull Dead Hands” campaign has held a number of demonstrations calling on Norman and his colleagues to abandon their proposals, claiming it is not in Hull’s best interests to try and compete with excitingly-named foreign places like Chihuahua and Buffalo.
But Norman has given their objections short shrift.
“Just think how much more successful Philip Larkin would have been had he worked not at the University of Hull, but at Tigeropolis College,” he retorted. “And if he hadn’t called himself a poet, but a 'words panther'. And if his middle name hadn’t been Arthur, but Snow Leopard. Then he might be worth supporting.”
The case continues.