Imagine Wayne Rooney trying to sneak a peek of his birthday presents last night. The motion sensors, the alarms, the strictly targeted Instagram posts leading him into the trap.
And then Coleen stood there, watching. Fingerprint dusting kit in one hand, mobile phone in the other, ready to tweet out the guilty verdict. “It’s……… not your birthday until tomorrow, Wayne.”
Yes, the boy wonder is celebrating his 34th birthday today. He was a mere 16 years of age when he plucked that ball out of the air with the instep of his right boot, swivelled all the way around, and smashed the ball past a helpless England veteran in goal.
That was 17 years and five days ago.
Since then, he’s broken the transfer record for a teenager, captained his country, and become the all-time top goalscorer for both Manchester United and England, bagging a few more worldies along the way.
We’re giving you seven minutes – but we’re not expecting you to get them all (it’s really very hard). So send us your scores, no matter what you got, to @FourFourTwo and see how your memory compares to everyone else.
While you're here, why not take advantage of our brilliant subscribers' offer? Get the game's greatest stories and best journalism direct to your door for only £9.50 every quarter. Cheers!
Get the best features, fun and footballing frolics straight to your inbox every week.
Thank you for signing up to Four Four Two. You will receive a verification email shortly.
There was a problem. Please refresh the page and try again.