*indicates Castaway’s favourite song
Gary Lineker (October 1990)
Sue Lawley’s plummy timbre provides a delightful introductory sashay through the 1986 World Cup Golden Boot winner’s pet sounds.
Sadly, that doesn’t include much (or anything, in fact) from the Beach Boys. “I’m not the greatest music lover in the world,” he admits, picking Simply Red’s Holding Back the Years first up, “but I like what I like.” Well, Mick Hucknall, clearly.
More self-confessed “car radio rock” follows – Dire Straits, Rod Stewart, Elton John (pre-Princess Diana association) and U2 – accompanied by Eric Clapton’s Wonderful Tonight “which I love to sing along to” and Always Look on the Bright Side of Life by Monty Python “which is a bit of my philosophy as well”.
Notably more nervous than the polished performer we’re used to seeing in front of camera, Links delivers that latter line with the bravado of a Match of the Day link. Hitting his stride, and a theme, Lineker picks Soul Limbo by Booker T. & the MG’s as his castaway’s favourite, otherwise known as the theme tune for Test Match Special. Sure as hand-in-the-air celebration follows a five-yard tap-in, it’s the Wisden Almanack for his book and a bowling machine as the luxury item.
“I’m going to stage my own Test matches,” he says, “and figure I can make a cricket bat, especially if there’s a willow tree on the island. Then I’ve got the bowling machine to play all day and the music to introduce me.”
“But you won’t ever be caught out,” points out schoolmistress Lawley.
“No, but I won’t be given out, either, with no umpires.”
Say what you like about Simply Red – no, seriously, knock yourself out – our Gary really thought this through.
Holding Back The Years – Simply Red*
Soul Limbo (Theme from Test Match Special) – Booker T. & the MG’s
Maggie May – Rod Stewart
Wonderful Tonight – Eric Clapton
Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life – Monty Python
Tunnel Of Love – Dire Straits
With Or Without You – U2
Candle In The Wind – Elton John
Book – Wisden Cricketers' Almanack
Luxury item – Bowling machine
Des Lynam (November 2000)
There’s something very Sunday morning to the upbeat strings and restorative seagull squawks that introduce every edition of Desert Island Discs, like waking up outside an amusement arcade on Brighton Pier surrounded by the previous night’s discarded kebabs. Throw in Des Lynam’s velvet voice – 18 months on from his big-money defection to Andy Townsend’s Tactics Truck on ITV – and feel that hangover lift to the extent that it’s even possible to become a functioning adult again.
“This tune used to resonate around the house as a kid,” coos Des as he tees up jaunty number In Party Mood by the West End Celebrity Orchestra. “I don’t even know what it’s called, actually, but I love it.”
Des, the dirty dog, knows very well it’s the theme tune to erstwhile BBC radio request show Housewives’ Choice, a subtle-as-brick nod to his catnip status to women of a certain age. The narcissism doesn’t end there – he goes on to select it his castaway’s favourite, conveniently remembering its provenance again.
Elsewhere, there’s Rachmaninoff because he liked The Railway Children, fellow crooner Frank Sinatra because he didn’t enjoy Elvis like his mates; Peggy Lee’s Is That All There Is after Lawley enquires, “Death, do you think about it often?”; a Bob Newhart sketch on tobacco (us neither); Puccini’s Nessun Dorma for obvious Italia ‘90 reasons; Razzle Dazzle from musical Chicago for fancying himself as a showman, and Bette Midler’s Wind Beneath My Wings as a tribute to partner Rose, a “great old girl”.
Encyclopedia of Natural Medicine is Lynam’s book – “exactly, you’re a hypochondriac” trills Lawley – and a drum kit his luxury item because “if I couldn’t be a song and dance man, I’d have liked to have been a drummer” for no reason other than “I could make as much noise as I want”.
In Party Mood (theme to Housewives’ Choice) – West End Celebrity Orchestra*
Piano Concerto No. 2 in C minor, 2nd movement – Sergei Rachmaninov
In the Wee Small Hours of the Morning – Frank Sinatra
Is That All There Is? – Peggy Lee
Introducing Tobacco to Civilisation – Bob Newhart
Nessun Dorma – Giacomo Puccini
Razzle Dazzle (from Chicago) – Henry Goodman
Wind Beneath My Wings – Bette Midler
Book – Encyclopedia of Natural Medicine
Luxury item – Drumkit
Tony Adams (July 2010)
The former Arsenal and England captain used to spend his pocket money on a steak and kidney pie, saving his change to eventually buy his first record. It’s hard to imagine a 14-year-old Adams shimmying around the streets of Romford to Earth, Wind & Fire’s Let’s Groove, but “it’s a funky tune, man!”
Disarmingly honest about his upbringing – including how his grandfather once pulled a knife on his dad – and the role his mother played in his upbringing and trying to hide his alcoholism, Adams dedicates Sweet Caroline to his old dear and breaks down in tears.
The Boy About Town by the Jam is also autobiographical – “I used to lie my way through school” – for the mod fan, as is jazz-funk Walking into Sunshine by Central Line, which the centre-back got into through Arsenal team-mates David Rocastle and Michael Thomas. Ditto Good Old Arsenal by the 1971 FA Cup-winning squad.
“I didn’t know how to deal with life, so I drank,” he says of the long descent to alcohol, describing prison as “heaven” compared to reality. Focusing on football, he describes how he stayed sober during Euro ‘96, but went on a six-week binge thereafter, before having his last drink on August 16 that year. He chooses Black Coffee In Bed by Squeeze – a sublime break-up lament – not just for the title, but because he hallucinated one morning that the song was playing on his living room stereo.
Chet Baker ballad I’ve Never Been In Love Before proceeds a heartwarming discussion of wife Poppy’s influence on him and the role of fear in his life.
Another Monty Python appearance, his castaway favourite, precedes the book of Alcoholics Anonymous, before his luxury item.
“Football,” he deadpans. “What did you expect?”
Let's Groove – Earth, Wind & Fire
Sweet Caroline – Neil Diamond
Boy About Town – The Jam
Walking into Sunshine – Central Line
Good Old Arsenal – Arsenal 1971 Squad
Black Coffee in Bed – Squeeze
I've Never Been In Love Before – Chet Bake
Always Look On The Bright Side Of Life – Monty Python *
Book – The Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous)
Luxury item – Football
David Beckham (January 2017)
For Desert Island Discs’ 75th anniversary, softly-spoken Kirsty Young welcomed Lord Becks onto her lonely musical haven. It probably felt like manna from heaven for the world’s most recognisable sarong botherer.
Something of a hoarder – he keeps all his England caps at home, his medals in a bank safe and still has 1,000 pairs of boots in storage – you wonder whether he should instead have appeared on an invasive Channel 4 documentary with Dr Christian.
Jazz queen Ella Fitzgerald is first up (and his castaway’s favourite), played at his grandparents’ house as a kid – a time when he wore velvet knickerbockers and ballet shoes as a page boy at a wedding, ever the dedicated follower of fashion. What A Fool Believes by the Doobie Brothers was a regular in the car going up to Manchester for his days at the Bobby Charlton Soccer School, which eventually earned him a Manchester United trial.
“Certain songs remind me of Manchester, and this is one of them,” says Becks introducing I Am The Resurrection by the Stone Roses, adding he once went to Madchester club The Haçienda. Hard to imagine him mixing with Peter Hook or Mark E Smith, but that’s just us.
Much more believable is Elton John, who came to Beckingham Palace to mark the christening of Beckham’s first two children, playing Something About the Way You Look Tonight. Queue talk of Victoria, “my favourite Spice Girl wearing a black cat suit”, and getting her number in Manchester United players’ lounge.
Another “good friend” up next is razor-voiced Spanish songwriter Alejandro Sanz, who is like a transmogrification between Rod Stewart and McFly, to remind him of Real Madrid. Genuinely heart-broken about leaving United – “I couldn’t watch them play for three years” – he picks Wild Horses by the Rolling Stones because, well, it’s a banger.
The Girl Is Mine is a tribute to daughter Harper, which is somewhat strange because a) Michael Jackson wrote it while watching cartoons with Paul McCartney and b) it’s dreadful, sentimental nonsense. He ends with Sidney Buchet, a reflection on his retirement in Paris.
Unlikely to bring War and Peace, Beckham did at least think about what to read, plumping for a recipe book on wild cooking from chef Francis Mallmann, “who has cooked for me,” he humblebrags. Reverting to type, Becks’ England caps are his luxury item. Always loved a bit of velvet – notoriously useful in a survival situation – has, our Becks.
Every Time We Say Goodbye – Ella Fitzgerald*
What a Fool Believes – Michael McDonald & The Doobie Brothers
I Am the Resurrection – The Stone Roses
Something About The Way You Look Tonight – Elton John
No Es Lo Mismo – Alejandro Sanz
Wild Horses – The Rolling Stones
The Girl is Mine – Michael Jackson and Paul McCartney
Si tu vois ma mère – Sidney Bechet
Book – On Fire, Francis Mallmann
Luxury item – His England Caps
Bobby Robson (December 2004)
“Was that the unkindest cut of all?” begins Sue Lawley, asking Wor Bob about his summer sacking from boyhood club Newcastle United. “Well, yes, it was. I was bewildered,” sighs Robson. “It’ll always hurt.” Way to kick a man when he’s down, Sue.
Sir Bobby then picks a bizarre duet between future Morrissey lookalike Robbie Williams and “the mature” [or dead. Ed.] Frank Sinatra, It Was a Very Good Year.
“I mean, it’s not been a very good year,” chuckles Robson, also selecting it as his Castaway’s favourite, “but it’s a beautiful song.” It’s Robbie, Bobby!
Few are the people who can bridge the gap between the chubby dancer in Take That and Edward Elgar’s sentimental funeral-regular Nimrod, but Robson does it expertly. “It reminds me of war and sadness,” he explains, with great gravitas.
After holding court on modern footballers’ penchant for diamond earrings and BMWs, Sir Bob picks Peggy Lee’s Is That All There Is?, a husky lament on life at the circus. Insert your own punchlines. Ditto picking Chris de Burgh in any kind of situation, with the possible exception of playing Lady In Red while cutting out the British crooner’s vocal chords with a rusty spoon, so he can forever associate his ear-bleedingly awful tripe with something equally uncomfortable.
The Winner Takes It All by ABBA is up next because it appeared on a UEFA compilation tape from Robson winning the European Cup Winners’ Cup. Robson’s own divorce from Barcelona was about as messy as Bjorn and Agnetha’s laid out in the song, too.
Nessun Dorma is an obvious choice, Robson saying, “I think about the penalty shootout every day of my life”.
Robson’s description of how he found out he had cancer is truly heartbreaking, describing wife Elsie’s part in making her husband go to the doctor’s, and an operation in which a surgeon has to break through the roof of his mouth underneath his eye. That was in 1995. He would work for another 11 years.
Just the Way You Are by Barry White is a reminder of his loved ones, followed by Louis Armstrong’s We Have All the Time in the World because it makes Bobby relax, “even though I know my time is diminishing”.
Robson intertwines his luxury item and book, wanting a sun lounger (with canopy) on which to read historian John Keegan’s account of the two world wars. Where do we sign (minus Chris de Burgh)?
It Was a Very Good Year – Robbie Williams & Frank Sinatra *
Variations on an Original Theme, Op. 36: Variation IX (Nimrod) – Edward Elgar
Is That All There Is? – Peggy Lee
Lady In Red – Chris de Burgh
The Winner Takes It All – ABBA
Nessun Dorma – Giacomo Puccini
Just The Way You Are – Barry White
We Have All The Time In The World – Louis Armstrong
Book – History of World War I and II, John Keegan
Luxury item – Sun lounger (with canopy)
John Motson (June 2018)
Still technically retired, pre-TalkSport Motty describes football commentary as “like living on a knife edge” early doors with Kirsty Young, pulling out England’s semi-finals at Italia ‘90 and Euro ‘96 as his career highlights. You know what’s coming (home) next and, yes, Three Lions is his castaway’s favourite.
Jaunty big band number The Red Red Robin, played when Charlton ran out at the first game he ever attended as child, is another sentimental choice. Sheepskin coat chat follows, plus Anne’s black book – a collection of yearly stats Motty’s wife keeps each season – and being packed off to boarding school because his Methodist minister father kept moving parishes. Diana by Paul Anka reminds Motty of the latter, which is a bit weird given it’s a song about teenage love affairs.
Elton John makes another appearance (though not a christening in sight) with Daniel, because it was playing on BBC local radio when Motty first cut his broadcasting teeth in Barnet. It was in north London where he met his wife, dedicating Annie’s Song to her, despite clearly never having listened to John Denver in his life, no matter how much she lights up his senses.
Discussion of Motson’s legendary back-and-forth with Brian Clough proves enlightening – “I knew I had the interview in the palm of my hand” – before he chooses Elaine Paige singing Don’t Cry for Me Argentina, a nod to the 1986 World Cup, via military juntas and West End shows.
Abide With Me features not just because of the FA Cup final, but because it’s in the Methodist hymn book as a nod to Motty’s father, with professional miser Paul Simon “the man who could touch your imagination with a line” his last track. He introduces his favourite artist’s The Boy in the Bubble with a tonal shift, recalling Ronnie Radford in Hereford’s FA Cup upset in February 1972.
Catcher in the Rye is his book because “it said everything about how I felt as an adolescent, how phony everything was”. Banned from taking a portable radio as his luxury item by an incandescent Young because it allows contact with the outside world, Motson gets into a tizz. Anne has suggested he takes paper tissues because his nose runs a lot; Young offers a crate of red wine.
“I’ll take my running shoes, how about that?” he offers.
Not the sheepskin coat? Say it ain’t so, Motty.
Three Lions – David Baddiel, Frank Skinner & The Lightning Seeds *
The Red Red Robin – Billy Cotton & The Johnston Singers
Diana – Paul Anka
Daniel – Elton John
Annie's Song – John Denver
Don't Cry for Me Argentina – Elaine Paige
Abide With Me – Henry Francis Lyte/William Henry Monk
The Boy in the Bubble – Paul Simon
Book – The Catcher in the Rye, by J. D. Salinger
Luxury item – Running shoes
Trevor Brooking (January 1982)
Roy Plomley, who devised the idea for Desert Island Discs in 1941 as he was about to head for bed, goes hard and early. “Trevor,” he enquires, elongating his vowels like a kindly barrister, “are you fond of music?”
“Yes, I do like music,” confirms Trev, adopting a similar nervous tone as Gary Lineker would manage eight years later, “quite often at home with the family in the evenings we listen to music.” With anecdotes like that, FFT fears it’s going to be a long 40 minutes.
Plomley is determined to dig a little deeper. Does Brooking play an instrument? Piano lessons as a kid. Does he sing? In the shower or when no one’s around. Does he have a large collection? Yes, previously singles, but increasingly more cassettes for the cover.
Thankfully, Brooking’s musical taste is better than his repartie. No wonder he nearly became an accountant. Motown classic The Tracks of My Tears by Smokey Robinson & the Miracles is a song so good, an ‘80s footballer probably shouldn’t like it. Take a good look at FFT’s face, we’re not joking.
Plomley guides us through the West Ham forward’s two-footed upbringing with his dad and possibly becoming an accountant, having completed two A-levels.
“Good beaty number,” (Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher and Higher by Jackie Wilson is another certified Motown banger, and another contender for one of the greatest songs of all-time. Ditto, without the Motown, Don’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me by Elton John, who is clearly a hit with football folk of all ages and eras.
“The saxophone is my favourite instrument,” Brooking, teeing up How Sweet It Is (To Be Love By You) by Jnr Walker & The All Stars, a celebratory take on the Marvin Gaye original. Continuing his hitherto impeccable selections, The Beatles’ Let It Be is next up after Brooking attempts an anecdote. Then explain how the upcoming summer’s World Cup will work with two group stage and “by the end of the day, certainly some of the ladies in the household will be sick and tired of football”. Best stick to the music, Trev.
He picks another third track with parenthesis Arthur’s Theme (Best That You Can Do) by Christopher Cross from Dudley Moore’s film of the same name. Things do eventually deteriorate for Trev, though. Diana Ross and Lionel Richie’s Endless Love – why not the Commodores or Supremes who were actually good? – is followed by another rotter of a duet from Barbra Streisand and Barry Gibb with the nauseating What Kind of Fool. Just pick The Bee Gees!
Brooking’s luxury item is a set of golf clubs and ball – “If I’m on a desert island, I’ll probably need another sand wedge” – with the largest set of crossword puzzles he can find for his book. It takes Plomley to point out he’ll need some pencils as well.
The Tracks Of My Tears – Smokey Robinson & The Miracles
(Your Love Keeps Lifting Me) Higher and Higher – Jackie Wilson
Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me – Elton John
How Sweet It Is (To Be Loved By You) – Jnr Walker & The All Stars
Let It Be – The Beatles
Arthur's Theme (Best That You Can Do) – Christopher Cross
Endless Love – Lionel Richie & Diana Ross
What Kind Of Fool – Barbra Streisand & Barry Gibb *
Book – Crossword puzzles and pencils
Luxury item – Golf clubs and balls
Jack Charlton (October 1990)
“I was big and I could kick the ball,” reasons the straight-talking miner’s son of his talents. “I liked to fight.” The eldest Charlton reveals it was only at his mother’s insistence – she was part of the Milburn dynasty, her first cousin Newcastle legend Jackie – that he played football at all, picking Frank Sinatra’s September Song because it reminds him of those early tin-bath-in-front-of-the-fire days.
Jack responds with admirable restraint at Sue Lawley’s attempts to rile him by focusing on younger brother Bobby’s successes, before recalling good old Geordie times by picking Crocodile Shoes by Jimmy Nail. Calmer waters come describing his first England call-up, entering a defeated Manchester United FA Cup semi-final dressing room in 1965 to tell a defected ‘Our Kid’ the news.
Roger Miller and King of the Road is next, Charlton visiting him backstage in Vancouver to have a beer for half an hour with the honky-tonk Country legend. The Dubliners’ jingle-jangling provide a similar backstage tale, and hint at his future trade with Dirty Old Town. As does Don’t Pay the Ferryman by Chris de Burgh – “who I’ve known for years” – and who performed Bobby Robson favourite Lady In Red for the Ireland squad after they were knocked out of Italia ‘90, a tactic which should really feature in an update to the United Nations Convention against Torture.
Well and truly warming to his folking theme, he goes for Red Rose Cafe by the The Fureys, then the almost spoken-word Delirium Tremens by professional Irishman Christy Moore. He concludes with more huskiness from Vic Vega favourite Lee Marvin and Wand’rin’ Star.
Lawley bends the rules to allow The Encyclopaedia of How To Survive for Jackie’s book, despite its practicality. And the luxury? “I have to have a fishing rod,” spits Charlton. “I can sit all day catching nothing and catching nothing. Of course on a desert island, I’d have to catch something, so it would also be a necessity.”
September Song – Frank Sinatra *
Crocodile Shoes – Jimmy Nail
King Of The Road – Roger Miller
Dirty Old Town – The Dubliners
Don't Pay The Ferryman – Chris de Burgh
Red Rose Cafe – The Fureys
Delirium Tremens – Christy Moore
Wand'rin' Star – Lee Marvin
Book – Encyclopaedia of How To Survive
Luxury item – Fishing rod
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