La Liga's Good Day, Bad Day - Round 7
There was no happier fella in Spain this weekend than barking mad AS-man, TomÃÂ¡s Roncero.
For a while now, La Liga Loca had wondered whether his insanely upbeat articles about Real Madrid were clever examples of post-modernist, neo-satire.
Or simply the witterings of a delusional old sea-dog.
The blog can confirm it is the latter as it had the pleasure of sitting just behind the perfectly likeable but peculiar pundit during SaturdayÃ¢ÂÂs home clash against Valladolid.
TomÃÂ¡s was sat wearing a pastel-shaded RaÃÂºl scarf to celebrate the Madrid captainÃ¢ÂÂs record-breaking 711th appearance, and spent his time madly responding to an avalanche of texts and commenting on the game.
Ã¢ÂÂIt was a pass! It was a pass!Ã¢ÂÂ shouted TomÃÂ¡s to everyone around him as Iker Casillas sliced a ball that somehow ended up at the feet of Sergio Ramos.
After half-an-hour Roncero was a happy man indeed, having seen two lovely goals from his favourite player put Madrid into a 2-0 lead and looking so comfortable (temporarily) that he even had time to spend a few minutes gazing at a picture of one of Rio FerdinandÃ¢ÂÂs bikini-clad squeezes on the back of AS.
TomÃÂ¡s Roncero: La Liga Loca salutes you.
By tradition, La Liga Loca rarely has anything good to say about the Madrid captain so will merely note that itÃ¢ÂÂs all very well scoring two goals at home to blooming Valladolid when you produce next-to-nothing away at Sevilla.
Still, heÃ¢ÂÂs better than Benzema at the moment.
With Diego LÃÂ³pez gifting victory to Xerez on Sunday and Pepe Reina failing to save either of the two balls fired at him by Darren Bent, surely ValdÃÂ©s deserves a call-up to the Spanish squad sometime soon, especially after his brilliant display in Mestalla?
Yes, he has an annoying habit of chewing gum like an eejit as one LLLÃ¢ÂÂer pointed out and once punched a cinema-going punter for no good reason, but the BarÃÂ§a No.1 surely deserves a day out of the doghouse.
Even if Xerez do go down this season, the win against Villarreal will be a top seller in all local DVD shops for years to come.
Possibly even knocking Ã¢ÂÂFlighty Flamenco FloosiesÃ¢ÂÂ off the No.1 slot.
The victory owed an enormous amount to poor finishing from Villarreal and a losing-the-plot-along-with-the-rest-of-his-side Diego LÃÂ³pez, but fair doÃ¢ÂÂs to AntoÃÂ±ito for his superb lob over the keeper after a truly dreadful clearance - his second in an awful 45 minutes for the Spanish international.
If there was to be a less fancied player-of-the-season-so-far list, then La Liga Loca would plonk the Racing man into the left-midfield position.
As has already happened a number of times this season, Serrano has bailed his team out of trouble with a moment of individual brilliance.
SundayÃ¢ÂÂs saw Serrano burst through the Zaragoza midfield at 2-1 down and and chip their goalie from a good 30 yards out to give the visitors a cheeky point.
Miguel de las Cuevas
The Sporting midfielder was the clubÃ¢ÂÂs star signing of the summer. Well, it was pretty much their only signing of the summer.
And this did not bode well considering the footballer did not look all that hot while at AtlÃÂ©tico.
But the brace up in Bilbao for Miguel was his second in a row and moves Sporting into a stunning 7th spot.
Fantastic news for everyoneÃ¢ÂÂs second favourite club in la Liga.
An uncharitable, arms-folded, La Liga Loca will continue to call Mallorca nothing more than effective this season, despite their 5th-placed position.
The Balearic side have won four from four at home but have taken on the flimsiest of opponents in Xerez, Tenerife, Valladolid and most recently of all, Getafe.
Only one point has been picked up on the sideÃ¢ÂÂs travels.
Win a proper game - like the visit to the Vicente CalderÃÂ³n next weekend - and the blog may, just may throw Mallorca a Scooby Snack of praise.
What would Monday be without a gratuitous dig at Barcelona, a moan about a referee and a showbiz encounter?
HereÃ¢ÂÂs Paul from Barcelona who went to his sideÃ¢ÂÂs 2-1 win over Tenerife.
"A pretty forgettable match to be honest between one team that will finish top 10 and another that should win enough home matches to survive. You guess which is which.
a) Great away following again. About 250 Tenerife fans who sang a bit. Well done chaps.
b) Great finishing from Ivan Alonso and great goalkeeping from Tenerife's goalkeeper, Aragoneses.
c) The worst refereeing/linesman decision this side of a BarÃÂ§a match. Ivan Alonso through on goal, about to shoot, has his legs taken away from him from behind on the edge of the area. The decision: Alonso booked for diving.
Despite a couple of nervy moments, Espanyol were good value for the three points as Kameni should have saved the shot that Tenerife scored from.
By the way, I was collecting parts from The Harley Davidson shop and who should be standing outside? Zlatan. He's a big bloke and looks well hard.Ã¢ÂÂ
No. No. Still canÃ¢ÂÂt find anything nice to say about them, despite their 1-0 win over Sevilla - the fourth 1-0 win of the season.
Putting RaÃÂºl in the Good Day section used up what scraps of goodwill the blog possesses in its cold and empty heart.
AtlÃÂ©ticoÃ¢ÂÂs latest disaster has been met by less than sympathetic ears - and indeed fingers - in the Spanish footballing press.
Disastrous performances both up front and at the back means that MondayÃ¢ÂÂs favourite word to describe the 3-0 defeat to Osasuna is Ã¢ÂÂpatheticÃ¢ÂÂ.
Ã¢ÂÂAtleti were like a scared childÃ¢ÂÂ in the first 30 minutes rants IÃÂ±aki DÃÂaz-Guerra in AS on a team that has tried every centre-back pairing imaginable in the league this season, but found that all of them are crap.
The rojiblancos have now conceded 17 goals, more than Barcelona, Real Madrid and Sevilla combined - three teams the side was supposed to be competing with this season.
Ã¢ÂÂFootball has been very unkind to us,Ã¢ÂÂ said a feeling-very-for-sorry-himself Abel Resino after the defeat in Pamplona.
Still, chin-up, says La Liga Loca, Chelsea away is next! Oh dear.
Lousy finishing, disastrous goalkeeping and a dressing room bust-up show what an awful position Villarreal now find themselves in.
Bottom-of-the-table, the only side without a top flight win and now suffering the humiliation of a defeat to Xerez.
Time will tell how patient VillarrealÃ¢ÂÂs relatively-sane-by-Spanish-standardÃ¢ÂÂs owner Fernando Roig is going to be with coach Ernesto Valverde.
A truly rotten start to the season for MÃÂ¡laga continues with SundayÃ¢ÂÂs home defeat to AlmerÃÂa the sideÃ¢ÂÂs fifth in the last six matches.
Time will tell how patient MÃÂ¡lagaÃ¢ÂÂs relatively-nuts-by-Spanish-standardÃ¢ÂÂs owner Lorenzo Sanz is going to be with coach Juan Ramon LÃÂ³pez MuÃÂ±iz.
FrackinÃ¢ÂÂ frack. ItÃ¢ÂÂs now been 55 games since Getafe managed to win back to back matches in la Liga.
And only about a fifth of those can be blamed on current coach Michel.
Part of the problem is that Roberto Soldado has done naff-all since opening the season with a hat-trick against Racing.
However, he did manage to miss a bundle of chances in SundayÃ¢ÂÂs 3-1 defeat to Mallorca.
Ã¢ÂÂIÃ¢ÂÂm very upset,Ã¢ÂÂ said the Zaragoza coach after his side threw away a 2-0 lead against Racing with just 10 minutes left.
Ã¢ÂÂI donÃ¢ÂÂt like to give away things and thatÃ¢ÂÂs what we did today."
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