Saturday
Getafe (14th) vs Real Madrid (2nd)
When Gabriel Heinze knacked his leg standing on a rake carelessly left lying around the clubâÂÂs training pitches, the clumsy Argentine sustained MadridâÂÂs 21st major injury in just four measly months.
The defender now joins Van Nistelrooy (badly wired dressing room hairdryer), Robben (accidental dropping of piano) and a host of other poorly players on the sickly sidelines.
âÂÂItâÂÂs true that there are too many muscular injuries being suffered,â confessed Yolanda Erburu, the spokesperson for Sanitas, MadridâÂÂs healthcare providers, as Guti attempted to remove a jammed crumpet from a toaster with a carving knife.
Heinze joins Madrid treatment table posse
SaturdayâÂÂs trip to Getafe will see one opposition player, Esteban Granero, joining up with a club that unfairly flogged him to the Coliseum last summer.
However, the beardy-wierdy midfielder - described breathlessly by Marca as a footballer who âÂÂplayers the guitar, goes to university and reads books!â - is ready to return to the Bernabeu, if required.
âÂÂFew people are capable of saying âÂÂnoâ to Real Madrid,â opined Granero. Those people being Cristiano Ronaldo, Santi Cazorla, David Villa, Jim Magilton in his prime...
LLL Prediction - Draw
Sevilla (5th) vs Barcelona (1st)
And so, the moment of truth has arrived. The Numero Uno question. The Big Issue. Will any of the Primera-donnas be wearing pink boots on Saturday night in the biggest game in Spain this season?
Of course, like Ever Banega, there are other meaty matters very much at hand.
Has BarçaâÂÂs bullying of the wastes and strays of La Liga been in vain? Will Sevilla be able to stop the Dream Boysâ dance of destiny? How jealous was Joan Laporta of Atlético MadridâÂÂs attendance on Wednesday night? And what is PepâÂÂs âÂÂspecial planâ that Sport are predicting in FridayâÂÂs headline?
La Liga Loca suspects it will be a V-necked fleece with tartan piping.
LLL Prediction - Draw
Sunday
Recreativo (20th) vs Villarreal (3rd)
Recreativo players may have woken up on Friday afternoon feeling perky and positive about SundayâÂÂs clash against the club that has supplied most of their best players over the past few years.
After all, a handful of decent displays against Sevilla, Barcelona and Real Madrid have led some crazy-types to believe that the sideâÂÂs bottom of the table position is unjustified and - unlike Wayne Rooney in El Madrigal - Recre will eventually pull out of its nosedive.
But any glimmer of good times ahead for the heroes from Huelva was crushed like an iddy, biddy bug by the big boot of AS on Friday morning.
âÂÂThe worst attack in Europe!â screams the paper on RecreâÂÂs rather paltry five goal tally - a total that does not rank well alongside other continental bottom-dwellers such as West Brom and Chievo.
LLL Prediction - Away win
Valladolid (9th) vs Mallorca (15th)
Jubilation and jolly joshing have been the themes of the week for these two middling meddlers of La Liga. ValladolidâÂÂs wins over Sevilla, Madrid and Villarreal have seen the purpled players getting a little bit too big for their boots, tuts José Luis Mendilibar.
âÂÂIâÂÂm a bit worried as IâÂÂm noting an atmosphere of dangerous euphoria,â frowns the Valladolid coach.
And itâÂÂs a similar situation at 15th place Mallorca, who also appear to have ideas above their current station. âÂÂWe have the potential to go for a place between 6th and 8th,â said midfielder MartÃÂ, revealing the winner of the competition to pick the clubâÂÂs new motto.
LLL Prediction - Home win
Mendilibar: Detecting dangerous levels of euphoria
Málaga (11th) vs Osasuna (19th)
A couple of years ago, Ludovic Delporte was La Liga LocaâÂÂs favourite Primera player. The Osasuna winger was a flying Frenchmen who had Diego CapelâÂÂs hairstyle while the Sevilla starlet was still in nappies and pretending to fall out of his playpen.
Delporte is set to play his 100th top flight game on Sunday against Málaga - providing he is fit that is, the PamplonanâÂÂs big problem over recent years.
The driving force of OsasunaâÂÂs Champions League finish just three seasons ago should have already reached this milestone. Unfortunately, the 28-year-old possesses legs that could fall off at any moment and the dickiest of backs.
LLL Prediction - Home win
AlmerÃÂa (12th) v Deportivo (7th)
La Liga Loca would like to remind all its knowledgeable, worldly and impeccably-tasted readers that the latest edition of FourFourTwo magazine is still available - an edition that features the 100 best players in the world. And Raúl.
However the blog must point out that none of these fantastic footballers currently play for AlmerÃÂa or Deportivo. And probably never will, unless very, very bad things happen in their sporting careers.
LLL Prediction - Home win
Athletic (18th) vs Numancia (17th)
Winner of this weekâÂÂs âÂÂblind optimism in the face of footballing factsâ award goes - once again - to Athletic Bilbao manager, JoaquÃÂn Caparrós.
Despite his side lying third from bottom the âÂÂappy Andalusian has argued that the challenge for the Basque club this year is to do better than last seasonâÂÂs side.
After 12 rounds, Athletic are almost on a par with the previous yearâÂÂs performance, aside from the six-place, four-points difference.
LLL Prediction - Home win
Espanyol (16th ) vs Sporting (13th)
This week, the hard-hat wearing Espanyol squad was pictured wondering around their new under-construction stadium, due to be ready for action sometime in the spring of 2009.
But the new Perico palace could become one of the finest grounds in the second division if the club doesnâÂÂt buck its footballing ideas up on Sunday against Sporting.
âÂÂWe smell of death,â joked manager âÂÂTintinâ Márquez this week as the press speculated on his future - but itâÂÂs speculation that is misplaced says the Espanyol president. âÂÂThere is no ultimatum,â says the Pinocchio Perico boss, Daniel Sánchez Llibre.
LLL Prediction - Draw
Valencia (4th) vs Betis (8th)
If any of the blogâÂÂs Valencia-based readers were stuck in a supermarket queue this week, tutting as a middle-aged gentleman found that all of his cards had been declined, then they may have been behind money-less Mestalla president, Vicente Soriano.
Marca write on Friday that the clubâÂÂs credit line has been cut after requests from the club for more time to make repayments were turned down.
The paper quotes a source at Bancaja saying that âÂÂValencia have exceeded the risk limit allowed by the Bank of Spain.âÂÂ
The Mestalla club are expected to respond to this pecuniary problem by slapping a bit of lipstick on Nikola Zigic and making him stand seductively in their club shop window for the next couple of months.
LLL Prediction - Home win
Atlético Madrid (6th) vs Racing (10th)
La Liga Loca had planned a number of ways of entertaining itself during AtléticoâÂÂs closed doors clash against PSV.
But it was too frickinâ cold to do any of them. Instead, the blog shivered, lonely as a cloud in the Calderón stands, as Radio Marca occupied themselves by shrieking at the players when they came near their own huddling spot.
"Well I'm not getting it..."
Perhaps the highlight of the encounter came when one member of Her MajestyâÂÂs press noted wisely that Maniche had a distinct advantage over the others in the near subzero conditions.
LLL Prediction - Home win
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