Saturday
Sporting (7th) vs Villarreal (11th)
Giuseppe RossiâÂÂs agent claimed this week that his client could well make a summer move away from Villarreal and... and... and... sorry.
Stuff el clásico, as La Liga Loca is already so, so bored even before it has kicked off.
And Giuseppe RossiâÂÂs agent can do one too, while we are at it.
The really, really big news this week is the apparent definition of what it truly means to be Swedish, according to a potty-mouthed politician during a debate that is detailed in thelocal.se
âÂÂA Green Party politician from southern Sweden is defending the use of sex organ slang during a local council debate about Swedishness.
"The remarks by Sofia Bothorp, which have brought her both praise and ridicule, came during a session of the local council in Karlskrona in southern Sweden.
"During the debate, Bothorp sought to praise what she saw as a particularly Swedish acceptance of freedom of expression, in particular when it came to discussion of sex.
"According to Bothorp, part of being Swedish is being able to âÂÂl**k p***y in the morning and s**k c**k in the evening if you want to.âÂÂ
Indeed.
LLL Prediction - Away win
Valencia (4th) vs Mallorca (6th)
JoaquÃÂn plays for Valencia. JoaquÃÂn once played for Betis, too.
And itâÂÂs to Betis where La Liga Loca must go straight away, as life continues to go from bad to worse for the second division Andalusian club.
Last week, the blog reported that fans had invaded a training session in protest against the sideâÂÂs recent lousy form.
Well, a 3-0 defeat to mighty Elche saw 30 supporters welcome the players to training the following Monday by shouting nifty slogans such as âÂÂyou donâÂÂt feel the colours!âÂÂ
On the same day, a campaign began on tâÂÂinternet called âÂÂ29N, IâÂÂm not watching Betisâ calling for fans to enter the ground 20 minutes late after a pre-match protest.
However, the pompously-named âÂÂFederation of Betis fan groupsâ has failed to throw its significant weight behind the initiative arguing that âÂÂBetis fans have always been known for supporting and backing their team.âÂÂ
The week ended in Seville with a dark cloud hovering over the Betis training camp and a sense of fear and dread in the air.
Club owner, Darth de Lopera, had ascended from his winter home in hell, and come to visit the squad to tell them that they are âÂÂa quality team that needs to shut a few mouths.âÂÂ
LLL Prediction - Home win
Sevilla (3rd) vs Málaga (20th)
After last SundayâÂÂs insanity against Zaragoza, the Málaga players have spent the week feeling very sorry for themselves, indeed, thanks to their sensationally shameful behaviour in the final stages of the 1-1 draw.
Midfielder Apoño was caught gobbing in the face of a somewhat shocked opponent and managed to find time to racially abuse Zaragoza striker, Ewerthon.
âÂÂIt happened after he insulted my mother,â explained the Málaga man - an excuse that is pretty weak considering pretty much every insult in Spain involves someoneâÂÂs mother or doing an unmentionable deed in your enemyâÂÂs milk.
Nut job defender Weligton was another footballer looking for salvation after SundayâÂÂs elbow-inspired sending off.
âÂÂIâÂÂve got to be a bit smarter and not lose my rag,â admitted the Brazilian stopper who is now serving a one match ban.
LLL Prediction - Home win
Sunday
Valladolid (15th) vs Tenerife (16th)
Of all the club presidents in La Liga, ValladolidâÂÂs Carlos Suarez is by far the least objectionable.
Although thatâÂÂs not saying a great deal considering his top-flight colleagues are comprised of the odd criminal, a smattering of megalomaniacs and a gaggle of âÂÂcreative accountantsâÂÂ.
This week, the former basketball player was on local radio joking that he may take advantage of the visit of Sporting and their usual 6,000 fans in round 15 of la Liga by whacking the ticket prices up to âÂÂ90 euros.âÂÂ
Continuing in his jolly, jovial mood Suarez also had a good giggle at poor old Atlético and astutely noted that âÂÂtheyâÂÂre in a crisis, with their budget and wanting to be in the top three and being at the bottom.âÂÂ
LLL Prediction - Home win
Getafe (9th) vs Xerez (19th)
For some utterly unfathomable reason, Russian league champions Rubin Kazan are under the mistaken impression that Getafe striker Roberto Soldado is a) any good and b) would be delighted by the prospect of trudging around Siberia in sub-zero temperatures.
The hit-and-miss forward - with miss being the key component, here - is thought to be a winter transfer target for the commie club, although Getafe manager, Michel, claims that âÂÂI notice heâÂÂs not learning Russian, at the moment.âÂÂ
LLL Prediction - Home win
Racing (17th) vs Deportivo (5th)
It wasnâÂÂt just in Eastenders where Deportivo striker Riki! suffered endless torment and misery. ItâÂÂs in La Liga, too.
The gravity-challenged forward has now been handed two yellow cards in successive games for âÂÂsimulationâ in the box. And both of them looked as fair as curtains, too.
âÂÂThe problem with Riki is that he doesnâÂÂt know how to fall over,â explained Lord of Doom and Deportivo boss, Miguel Angel Lotina. âÂÂItâÂÂs quite difficult to teach this.âÂÂ
LLL Prediction - Away win
AlmerÃÂa (13th) vs Athletic (8th)
After giving them a bit of a whiff and wave out the window, itâÂÂs time for La Liga Loca to pull on itâÂÂs sensible trousers, once again, for an update of the âÂÂBasque politics meets Spanish footballâ clash of the titans.
Last week, the blog reported that the Basque Parliament had passed a resolution calling for the return of the national football side to the region.
The immediate reaction from the likes of Athletic and Real Sociedad was icey to say the least.
However, there has been some movement up north with lower league side Barakaldo requesting that SpainâÂÂs U21 side play a game in their stadium with AS predicting that it could well be next MarchâÂÂs clash with Liechtenstein.
âÂÂEverything that puts money in the bank is welcome,â shrugged Miguel Acero, the Barakaldo president.
LLL Prediction - Draw
Zaragoza (14th) vs Osasuna (12th)
At last, the real Osasuna is back.
At the start of the season, La Liga Loca felt that something wasnâÂÂt quite right in the Pamplonan paradise. The club was just being too polite.
But that approach was thrown out on the window last weekend in the home defeat to Valencia.
It was a game that saw a linesman being hit by a sandwich (not funny, of course) and produced two red cards for Osasuna - the second of which came from Flaño literally booting his opponent into the air with no attempt whatsoever to get the ball.
Wonderful stuff.
LLL Prediction - Draw
Barcelona (2nd) vs Real Madrid (1st)
This week, poor Royston Drenthe was spotted wandering around a football pitch looking lost, bothered and bewildered.
But for once, there wasnâÂÂt a game going on around him.
Instead the left-winger had lost his diamond earrings on one of the Valdebebas training pitches.
However, after a good half an hour spent paying enormous attention to grass, the Dutchman could only locate one and gave up the other as lost, losing a cool â¬6,000 in the process.
Meanwhile, it has been revealed that Lady Gago is either a dreamy, sensitive soul or a huge girlâÂÂs blouse, depending on which way your crumpet it cut.
The ArgentineâÂÂs agent has commented that his client is seeking a loan deal in Italy as the good Lady appears to be well and truly out of Manuel PellegriniâÂÂs plans, at the moment.
But even better than that, Marcelo Lombilla also claims that whenever the Poker Face footballer is left out of the Real Madrid squad, âÂÂheâÂÂs at home crying.âÂÂ
And thatâÂÂs exactly what Madridistas were doing on Wednesday night for much of the clubâÂÂs Champions League chumpathon against Zurich.
âÂÂIâÂÂm bored, youâÂÂre bored, heâÂÂs bored, sheâÂÂs bored, weâÂÂre bored, theyâÂÂre bored,â wrote a grammar-inspired Tomás Roncero in AS the following morning.
LLL Prediction - Home win (3-1)
Atlético Madrid (18th) vs Espanyol (10th)
1-1 away to APOEL was the perfect scoreline for rojiblanco watchers, this week.
Rubbish enough for everyone to still have a good, old chuckle at their expense - especially after conceding to their Cypriot opponents after just five minutes - but enough to hang on to third place and more possible humiliation in the Europa Cup against Liverpool.
âÂÂCould have been worse. Could have been much worse,â wrote Iñako DÃÂaz-Guerra who feels that the only thing to be done now with his side is, âÂÂtake the team to pieces and start all over again.âÂÂ
LLL Prediction - Home win (surely)
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