It's not just Cristiano Ronaldo... 10 more of football's craziest commercials

1. Back of the Futre

Sorry to start here, and we'd understand if you didn't want to read on, but.. well, just watch the thing. If former West Ham winger Paulo Futre juggling a ball with his manhood isn't already scary enough, it's accompanied by genuinely terrifying music and a stare from the protagonist that almost definitely warrants him a place on a register.  

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Nick Moore

Nick Moore is a freelance journalist based on the Isle of Skye, Scotland. He wrote his first FourFourTwo feature in 2001 about Gerard Houllier's cup-treble-winning Liverpool side, and has continued to ink his witty words for the mag ever since. Nick has produced FFT's 'Ask A Silly Question' interview for 16 years, once getting Peter Crouch to confess that he dreams about being a dwarf.