10 of football's craziest commercials (ft. Messi, meerkats and Paulo Futre's manhood)

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8. Shinji vs the Samurai

Our heroes have faced all kinds of random football adversaries in ads over the years, but Shinji Kagawa gets it easy in a Kirin beer commercial. True, after taking a much-needed sip of silly-sauce he is magically transported to face a Samurai squadron; however, the elite warriors are clearly encumbered by their bulky armour, and the Borussia Dortmund man simply dribbles past them before lashing the ball past a helpless, heavy helmet-laden keeper.

For the bankable Kagawa, this was a fairly straightforward "plot" compared to some ads he's graced. In a Softbank mobile phone commercial, he crosses a ball for the company’s doggy mascot to score, while talking to a manatee. Deeply confusing.

Randomness rating: 7 Samurai and a manatee in a pear tree.

9. Cha Du-Ri does the dusting

A housewife sits, melancholy and exhausted, at a kitchen table. How is she going to get through another day of chores? Worry not: former Celtic utility man Cha Du-Ri bursts terrifyingly out of a cupboard, wearing an extraordinary green spandex suit, to hoover, wash up, dust and mime playing a mop-guitar with enviable gusto.

His secret? Liver tablets – a popular pep remedy across East Asia. Well, obviously.

Randomness rating: 9 detoxified glands.

10. Maradona the chair

In scenes straight from The Fast Show, Diego Maradona appears as an irritating talking chair, heckling his match-watching owners with chants of “Argentina!” and generally making their life a misery. And, to prove you can sell anything online, they respond by selling the Diego-seat on South American eBay-style listing website Hmm, maybe FFT can flog that Boubacar Barry-themed chaise longue…

Randomness rating: 10 Shiltons.

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