10 of football's craziest commercials (ft. Messi, meerkats and Paulo Futre's manhood)
8. Shinji vs the Samurai
Our heroes have faced all kinds of random football adversaries in ads over the years, but Shinji Kagawa gets it easy in a Kirin beer commercial. True, after taking a much-needed sip of silly-sauce he is magically transported to face a Samurai squadron; however, the elite warriors are clearly encumbered by their bulky armour, and the Borussia Dortmund man simply dribbles past them before lashing the ball past a helpless, heavy helmet-laden keeper.
For the bankable Kagawa, this was a fairly straightforward "plot" compared to some ads he's graced. In a Softbank mobile phone commercial, he crosses a ball for the company’s doggy mascot to score, while talking to a manatee. Deeply confusing.
Randomness rating: 7 Samurai and a manatee in a pear tree.
9. Cha Du-Ri does the dusting
A housewife sits, melancholy and exhausted, at a kitchen table. How is she going to get through another day of chores? Worry not: former Celtic utility man Cha Du-Ri bursts terrifyingly out of a cupboard, wearing an extraordinary green spandex suit, to hoover, wash up, dust and mime playing a mop-guitar with enviable gusto.
His secret? Liver tablets – a popular pep remedy across East Asia. Well, obviously.
Randomness rating: 9 detoxified glands.
10. Maradona the chair
In scenes straight from The Fast Show, Diego Maradona appears as an irritating talking chair, heckling his match-watching owners with chants of “Argentina!” and generally making their life a misery. And, to prove you can sell anything online, they respond by selling the Diego-seat on South American eBay-style listing website bomnegocio.com. Hmm, maybe FFT can flog that Boubacar Barry-themed chaise longue…
Randomness rating: 10 Shiltons.