It used to be that any incoming signing couldn’t wait to appear on their new team’s pitch brandishing a replica shirt and forced smile – but the chaos of last-minute deadline-day deals has made chairmen and managers (and, presumably, photographers) too busy to concern themselves with creating polaroids for the club’s official website.
No matter, though. Ben Wilson has stepped in do the job of a dozen programme editors, capturing all the big late-window singings in Persil-fresh replica kit. And instead of needing hundreds of pounds worth of camera equipment, all it required was a PS4, a copy of FIFA, and an hour with the in-game editor. Wondering what your multi-million quid buy looks like in the black-and-white/green-and-yellow/claret-and-blue? OK, the latter wasn’t possible as Emmanuel Emenike isn’t in the game. But for the rest, read on...
Steven Fletcher (Sunderland to Marseille)
"He will not leave you unmoved, he will not go unnoticed. Marseille has added a Scotsman to the mix. And if you know anything about the mentality of that people, you'll know that's good news.” Marseille’s words, not ours.
Patrick Bamford (Chelsea to Norwich)
Unspeakably awful at Palace, Bamford will seek to finally score a first Premier League goal while on loan at Carrow Road. And net a proper FIFA likeness.
Giannelli Imbula (Porto to Stoke)
A perfect FIFA likeness for Stoke’s new £18.3 million defensive midfielder, who departs Portugal after just six months and 10 first-team appearances.
Leroy Fer (QPR to Swansea)
The Dutchman netted six goals for Rangers last season; if he can chip in that number in Swansea’s remaining games they’ll be a good bet to stay in the Premier League.
Oumar Niasse (Lokomotiv Moscow to Everton)
Senegalese forward who should be a roaring success on both the Goodison turf and Scrabble board: he spent two formative years at Turkish club Akhisar Belediyespor. 782 points.
Mathieu Debuchy (Arsenal to Bordeaux)
With his first-team path blocked by Hector Bellerin, the right-back will look to secure a spot in France’s Euro 2016 squad by playing out the season in his homeland.
Seydou Doumbia (CSKA Moscow to Newcastle)
The much-travelled Ivorian makes Steve McClaren’s United his sixth club after arriving on loan. Notable: his generic FIFA likeness takes at least 10 years off his wily grandfather looks.
Andros Townsend (Tottenham to Newcastle)
An outcast at Mauricio Pochettino’s Spurs, Townsend will now seek to achieve a personal double on Tyneside: keeping Newcastle in the Premier League and securing a berth on a private ferry across the Channel come June.
Emmanuel Adebayor (Free agent to Crystal Palace)
Signed for the Eagles after a six-month absence, and one of his first appearances in the red-and-blue will be an FA Cup tie against old club Spurs at White Hart Lane. If this was Roy Of The Rovers...
Aiden McGeady (Everton to Sheffield Wednesday)
A surprising drop down to the Championship for the former Celtic wunderkind, who’ll look to restore form and sharpness ahead of taking his guaranteed spot in Ireland’s Euro 2016 squad.
Matt Miazga (New York Red Bulls to Chelsea)
A single international cap and 35 senior club appearances were enough to convince Chelsea to invest in the 20-year-old American. Expect loan spells at Middlesbrough, Stoke, Palace and Watford to follow, then.
Florian Thauvin (Newcastle to Marseille)
Returns from whence he joined McClaren’s side to a chorus of Geordie indifference and his new manager publicly stating he “did not ask” for the reunion. That went well, then.
Alexandre Pato (Corinthians to Chelsea)
It seems an eternity since the brilliant Brazilian smashed 51 goals in 117 appearances for AC Milan. And while Guus Huddink is unlikely to deploy him alongside Diego Costa with any regularity, the two should prove a dispiritingly unstoppable FIFA force online.
Sandro (QPR to West Brom)
The former Spurs and Internacional midfielder scores a ticket back to the top flight – and with 15 yellow cards in his previous two seasons, he should be a Tony Pulis favourite from the off.
Abdoulaye Doucoure (Rennes to Watford)
Another generic likeness for the Hornets’ £8 million man, but if his acquisition helps cement their hopes of a top-half Premier League finish, few fans will lose sleep over it.
Marco van Ginkel (Chelsea to PSV)
The Sonic-haired Dutchman has one of the best likeness in all of FIFA 16 – but it won’t be on show in the Prem any longer after he swapped Potteries’ red-and-white for the Eindhoven equivalent.
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